Entry the Hundred and Eighty Ninth

01 December 2000

Poison

I am so furious at myself. I know better, yet I keep going back to these self-destructive behaviors.

Went out to happy hour last night, and I guess the combo of the alcohol and the flu shot I got on Wednesday conspired to make me seriously, seriously ill. As in puking my guts out ill. Thankfully BB was there and managed to get me back to his place so I could recuperate.

Damn it all. I know better than to put this poison into my system, yet I do it anyway. Is this evidence of a problem? Perhaps so. Enough evidence for me to consider it one. I don't need this substance to live, I don't require it to have a good time, I don't even crave or desire the stuff all that much, yet I keep drinking it. This is why I cut out the caffeine, because I didn't like what it was doing to my body, so why am I doing the same or worse to myself with alcohol?

Enough already. At least for a time. I can't say I will never drink again as I think that's unrealistic, but I can certainly abstain for some period of time. Blah. What an idiot I am.

And to top it all off, I've gone and pissed Doug off, too. That man means the world to me. I love him heart and soul. And yet I continue to act like a moron around/about/toward him. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. I'm certainly batting a thousand today.

Welcome to December, Moose, now clean up your act.

Archives

No Run, No Gym

Entry the Hundred and Ninetieth

02 December 2000

Cookies

How do you like the new moose on the main page? Let me know.

Spending the afternoon baking today. Why? Because a good friend of mine is having a Cookie Party. Basically it works thusly:
You make a batch of cookies, at least two dozen.
You set one dozen out for folks to munch on while they natter on about this, that and the other.
You leave one dozen in reserve.
At the conclusion of this, you get to pick a dozen cookies to take home with you (from the reserves).

Cool, eh?

So I'm making two batches of cookies. Why two batches? Because Doug is coming with me and I want to force him to have to take a batch home, too. Yes, I am evil that way. :-) Actually, I figured since a) I have the stuff here at home, b) I love baking, and c) there are two of us going, I should make a batch for each of us. He's on his way over, so he can help with the oatmeal ones I have to make later, if he so chooses. Up to him, but I'm still making two batches. Call me crazy.

Other than that I'm just spending today being nice and calm, reading, baking, etc.. Oh, and killing monsters on the computer. For some reason I find gaming relaxing when I get to slay a ton of other critters. Diablo:Hellfire at least makes me work for it, unlike, say, Doom or the like. Too easy to cheat on those and make yourself undefeatable. *shrug*

Will likely go running later, and hopefully my web site will come up sometime soon, too. It's been down all morning (as has Doug's), though Esosoft's main page is not down. Strange....

...

It appears the problem was my ISP, not Esosoft. :-p One of the other numbers allowed me to connect to the site to upload.

Got the cookies baked, about 6 dozen in all (4 dozen of one, two of the other). Yum! I'll likely have to make more tomorrow, since I have the ingredients now, to take to work or the like. Looking forward to the party, especially now that I've run - I can afford the extra calories. ;-)

Archives

Ran 30 min in RCP

Entry the Hundred and Ninety First

03 December 2000

TV

No date last night, unlike my normal Sunday. Work called Lawrence away, so I joined Brian for dinner instead. He made a pseudo-Orange beef dish, which turned out fairly well, especially since he's just starting to cook in his tiny kitchen. Sat in front of the TV as we ate, which reminded me of why I don't normally watch the thing - sat down to eat and next thing I know the entire plate of food was gone, even though I was not all that hungry (having devoured a ton of tofu post-run this afternoon). The TV is just too distracting. Not that I don't have other distractions in my life, but ugh! Didn't need to eat either that fast nor that much. Oh well, I'll live. :)

The cookie party went swimmingly, thankfully. Cookies were a hit and I managed to avoid the butter-laden ones, hence saving my tummy. A good time spent with friends, old and new.

Not a terribly exciting weekend, but a good one. Even if it is way too cold out there. :-p At least we missed the snow!

Archives

Ran One Hour in RCP

Entry the Hundred and Ninety Second

04 December 2000

Never all

WAMU, my local NPR station on the show "The World" was talking this evening about a Chinese man who published his diary ("Diary of Death") online. He's a cancer patient and has been talking about his experience online. The first several months have evidently been published in book form now. Fascinating.

I'm not sure how I'd feel about such notoriety. :-)

Of course, anything on the radio that's not about the election these days is a good thing. *shudder*

Did massive grocery shopping tonight - the joy and the curse of taking my bag lady cart to the grocery store. Very little wind, so it wasn't bad to walk it, even in the cold out there. We missed the snow (thank heavens), so no other problems, weather wise. Just have to make sure the rats (both two and four-legged) stay away from you as you head down and back.

No big revelations today. Did get a good direction to start on in my job search, so I'm pursuing that around my normal duties. Whee. My life is so terribly exciting these days. Not. :-) Am looking forward to cooking for Doug and RE tomorrow, should be good. Thought about making bread, then I came to my senses. ;-)

So that's my day in a nutshell. Not exciting, occasionally monotonous, but all online. Well, all that I'm willing to share. *grin*

Online diaries are a strange phenomenon. We put the details of our lives up for the world to see, and expose our souls to perfect strangers, yet in some ways we still keep that small kernel of self hidden away from the rest of you. I will never divulge the entirety of my life here, but I will share a great deal of it. There are just some things which are too private, even for someone who shares to the extent that I do, and those precious moments must be preserved for my self alone. Much as the scene from Melanie Rawn's first Exiles book wherein several mages are sharing their memories and knowledge of magic with the girl who is to become the master of their particular group as they themselves die, there were just some things that were not meant to be given her. Knowledge, experience that led to her own growth, but not all. Never all, my friends.

Archives

No Run, No Gym

Entry the Hundred and Ninety Third

05 December 2000

Motivation

00/12/5 8:21 a.m.

Gosh, it's been forever since I wrote on the palm. I've actually been using bus time as reading time, rather than writing time. It helps me stay focused to read or re-read stuff about improving my life - it's good to be reminded of things that I know I should be doing but aren't necessarily following up on.

Motivation, it seems, can be a tricky thing.

And the road from motivation to action even trickier. I know what I need to do, but do I have the willpower to do it? The eternal question. I think that I do, certainly I am able to start things, but to see them through? To change my eating habits and stick with it? To keep to a regular exercise schedule? To stay on the job search? To persevere, despite the frustrations?

Let's hope so.

...

Dinner tonight with Doug and RE was good. I'm glad the three of us were able to get together for the first time in ages, it seems. Doug'll be done with law school in two weeks (hooray!), and then his schedule will open up much more than it has been the past year. That'll be a good thing. :-)

Managed to get some research done on the job search, too, so it looks like the motivation is sticking. For now. :)

Archives

No Run, No Gym

Entry the Hundred and Ninety Fourth

06 December 2000

Continuity/Meeting/Palm

00/12/6 8:20 a.m.

Speaking of motivation, I've actually managed to keep the journal going every day this month. Hooray! That's got to be a record for me. I'm always so hit or miss with my entries.

There's so much going on in the world, but I don't feel the need to comment on it for the most part. The election fiasco will effect me in that it looks like our budget will be shit, when we finally get one. And it'll effect the agency's priorities at higher levels. But as far as every day life? Not at work. Might make my job search that much more fun, as scads of politicals start bailing out and look for jobs themselves. Eh, I'll just keep plugging away.

I will escape my government job at some point. *grin*

00/12/6 10:55 a.m.

I find myself stuck in a meeting that's going to last pretty much all day. Whee. Thankfully I can respond to old emails while I sit here.

00/12/6 12:20 p.m.

Can we go to lunch now? I'm dying of thirst. I miss my water bottle. :-p And I can only pay but so much solitaire.

Blah. At least I've paid enough attention to say a few things that made sense. And had the good sense to sit in the back of the room.

00/12/6 5:41 p.m.

On the way rack from the meeting I stopped into the yuppie gadget store and they finally had screen condoms for the palm (a thin plastic sheet that helps keep from scratching the screen). Tres cool.

And yes, it is the little things that amuse me. ;-)

Thanks to the meeting from heck I managed to get exactly zero done today. Joy. Probably should have worked on a cover letter instead of playing games, but my editing skills on this thing are limited. It's great for this free-style journal writing, but I'm not sure I'm up to full-scale long documents as yet. Not without a keyboard, which I am not springing for. At least not yet.

Geek I am, but not wealthy enough to be a true gadget über-geek. I'm working on it, though.

So, home next, bring this entry down, send email, get a bag together, and out to see RE in the 'burbs. What a messy life I have. :-)

Archives

15 min on the bike, 5 min on the rower

Entry the Hundred and Ninety Fifth

07 December 2000

Puzzled

I have a real entry that I'll post as soon as my palm decides to behave (or, rather, Yahoo decides to behave and synchronize - I guess they're too busy taking over the net to talk to little old me). Sorry for the break.

Archives

No Run, No Gym

Entry the Hundred and Ninety Sixth

08 December 2000

Missing Entry

Here's the missing entry from yesterday:

00/12/6 7:17 p.m.

As the Metro train hurtles down the track toward the Virginia suburbs and away from my comfortable city I cannot help but feel like I am traveling out into the void. Without a vehicle one quickly realizes that one's choices are incredibly limited. Choices of home, of shopping, of entertainment. Even though I grew up in suburbia it is such an alien land now. How could I ever return to such a place?

...

My moods and health seem to exist in such a fragile state. They fluctuate so readily and have such a profound impact on each other. I want equilibrium with both, is that so much to ask?

At the moment I think I'm just plain tired which, as we know, will drag you down mightily. Rest is essential to life & energy yet the U.S. is chronicly short on it. How dumb.

I do, of course, include myself in the ranks of the stupid.

...

The problem with writing in this thing all the time is that normal bodily functions intervene - I gotta pee!!! Five more Metro stops, then the ride to RE's place. *exasperated sigh* Silly body.

...

00/12/6 9:34 p.m.

I am such a slug tonight. Ugh! Nothing quite like getting to a boyfriend's house and wanting to crash on him. Blah. Oh well, at least I'll feel better for a good night's sleep.

...

00/12/7 5:45 p.m.

Did feel more rested, despite awaking at 3 a.m. to discover I was freezing. Blanket took care of that quickly and I was fine the rest of the night..

Okay, evidently the bus has decided we are not to have a smooth ride home. *bumpety, bumpety, bumpety*

I can tell I'm starved for legal work when I get excited over a letter that quoted not only a statute but actual case law as well. How sick is that? Time to tweak the resume again, it seems.

I'm not necessarily sure that more is better on here - I'm babbling now. Best quit while I'm ahead.

Archives

No Run, No Gym

Entry the Hundred and Ninety Seventh

09 December 2000

Lethargy

Quickly approaching entry number two hundred. I suppose, much like the hundredth entry, it'll be a non-event. I don't expect any sort of big revelation to come, or even necessarily to write anything touching or the like, but it's interesting. I've not kept this as a strictly daily journal (though I seem to have that down this month for some reason), so though I've been going at this for fourteen months now, I still am at less than 365 entries. Oh well. :-) I write when I feel like it, and so be it.

I spent a goodly part of the morning slugging around, playing video games and what not. Am in the last stages (I hope) of a head cold - just a mild drip, no big deal, so was feeling like a slug. Did eventually get off my tukas and get over to my friend JC's open house. That was an interesting experience. It was a mixed crowd, mostly queer, some folks I knew, some I didn't. 'Twas good to see those folks I'd not seen in forever, including the hosts who, after having found each other, seem to have mostly disappeared off the face of the earth (or at least from everyone's social circles). I have yet to understand why you would abandon your friends just because you are in a committed relationship.

Did have a drink while there, and I have to say it was rather anticlimactic and, actually, quite dull. There seemed to be little fun in imbibing this time around, especially while watching friends get quite sotted. If that's what I do when I get drunk (likely so), then all the more reason to cut back on the stuff. Ick. Nothing quite watching the not-quite-glazed over expressions on people who have had a tad too much. And not at all attractive, either. I suppose I can appeal to my vanity to help me stay away from it, then. ;-)

...

Oh, I fixed the archives and reorganized them this morning, too, so if you've been visiting them you might want to refresh the archives page - I cut them down into months instead of quarters 'cause they seemed to take an eternity to load. This should cut down on the page load time.

Archives

No Run, No Gym

Entry the Hundred and Ninety Eighth

10 December 2000

Settling in?

Am I settling down or just feeling unwell and harried? I find myself online chatting with folks and that's it. I don't feel the desire to be on and hooking up lately. There are guys on there who appear like they'd be fun, but do I want to go through the effort of making that connection and going through that dance? Increasingly of late the answer has been, "No."

How strange. I can't seem to explain it, either. It could be the current feeling of being under the weather, it could be the residual effects of getting the caffeine out of my system (though I've been off the stuff entirely for two weeks now, I understand it can take up to sixty days to get all of the effects out of your system for good), could be holiday depression, could be any number of things I suppose. Just don't know - all I know is my normally healthy and fabulous libido has been lower than normal the past week or two. And I don't like that. :-P

In an semi-unrelated note, I'm actually going to hit the gym tomorrow for the first time in forever it seems. My back was not happy with me at the reception on Friday, which leads me to believe my body is fussing at me for neglecting it. So, I need to un-neglect it. :-) We'll see how it goes this time. I make no pronouncements about this particular drive to physical perfection other than, "We'll see how it goes."

Archives

No Run, No Gym

Entry the Hundred and Ninety Ninth

11 December 2000

Just Kill Me Now

Just shoot me now. Go ahead, get it over with. You'll save me a lot of trouble.

No, I'm not going to kill myself (put the phone down - the little men in the white coats are not necessary; at least not tonight). I just simply hate my life. I can get no sleep, I am sore, and not all from the gym - some of it is stress related. I want the holidays over without having to go through them. I want winter over so I can have weather worth dealing with. I need sunlight and warmth (I left today in the dark and came home in the dark - that just plain sucks gorilla butt).

The only way to get decent weather would be to move, but I'm not going to California at this stage in my life and the deep south is not exactly appealing to me as an openly queer man. I'm not going to go through another bar exam this soon after my first one, either. I can't deal with that and full time work and the rest of the details of my life at this early date. The only way I see myself going anywhere warm is if a firm sends me to Taiwan and there's a snowball's chance in hell of that at the moment.

Fuck. I just feel so frustrated with myself and my life and the rest of existence at the moment. Myself most of all. I want my body to behave. I want to feel better than I do. I want to start it all over again and not make many of the choices I have made in my life.

I want the madness to end and for things to be fixed. Is that so much to ask?

Archives

Actually got my lazy ass to the gym today

Entry the Two Hundredth

12 December 2000

A Tad Better

Full-body massages are sooooooo nice. :-) Even if they're not quite a full-body experience. ;-)

Doug came over tonight and we traded massages. I had groused about my shoulders needing one pretty badly, so when he started through the shirts tonight I said it'd be easier with oil, which would pretty much guarantee we had to remove all clothes. Like he was going to protest that. *grin*

Today was all about sugar, too. Had my boss' going away luncheon and open house, and found out her last day is Friday for sure. Eeck! But it was a good thing. We got her a nice briefcase to replace the one her puppy had chewed up (the overflowing bag that followed her everywhere), and there were cookies everywhere.

Tons of cookies, actually, and cake, and all kinds of sugar. Oy! We've got lots of cookies left over as well, which means we'll be having cookies for the rest of the week, up until the office holiday party on Friday when we'll get even more cookies. Gotta love the holidays. Not! We need a holiday season that encourages people to make food that's good for you and not all this empty-calorie sugar stuff. Oh well, will just have to pretend to some self-restraint and try to stay out of them.

Still not 100% on my energy levels, and still mildly cranky at being so sore, but I'm feeling a tad better now.

Archives

20 Min on the Recumbent Bike upstairs

Entry the Two Hundred and First

13 December 2000

Taking the Plunge

Perhaps it's fear of rejection, perhaps fear of the unknown, perhaps just laziness, but I've been very reticent in actually taking concrete steps to contact other people to find another job. No more. I sent off an email to one of the firms in town, to a partner who taught at the university at which I studied in Taiwan. Wish me luck!

I just hate writing those cold call letters, praying you get the tone right, praying the person will speak with you, etc., etc., etc. Ugh! Too stressful. Yet another reason to go exercise, to burn off the stress. ;-)

But I'm feeling better for having finally taken this step, small as it is. Should make the next steps a tad easier.

Other than that, it's the end of the year, so we're slooooooooooow as heck at work. Not necessarily a bad thing, so long as I can keep myself busy. :-) Now that I'm selling myself I need to brush up on my Mandarin (Chinese) again. Vocabulary lessons - what fun. But a necessary evil to get where I want to be.

Archives

45 Min at the Gym

Entry the Two Hundred and Second

14 December 2000

Training

Today's advanced Dreamweaver training will be of absolutely no use to my office. The features we went over, cascading style sheets, animated thingums, layers, etc., will not go over on the "just give 'em the information in as no-nonsense [boring] a style as possible" attitude of the government. Oh well. I enjoyed it, nonetheless, as I can make use of those technologies myself with Dreamweaver, I want to replace the wretched Corel stuff I'm using now - it's a memory hog and the WYSIWYG interface ain't the greatest. Don't get me wrong, I love many of Corel's products, but this one sucks gorilla butt.

So, I got to spend the day out of the office. Woo-hoo! I love that kind of training, it keeps me busy and gets me away from the craziness of the office I work in. I should take more training. ;-)

Archives

No Run, No Gym

Entry the Two Hundred and Third

15 December 2000

Office Party/Libido

Today was the office holiday party. Not just my office, but the whole of our organization within my agency. Big to-do. Head of the agency showed up, shook hands and what not. Was a good time, and a good excuse for not doing a damned thing today, other than return my books from bar prep so I could get my deposit back.

Gotta love the month of December.

Was dragging a bit today, though, as I was up until all hours last night. Did I say I was worried about my libido earlier? I suppose I disproved that last night. ;-) Got messaged on gay.com by a really cute guy who wanted to play. Wasn't quite sure I was up to it, but once he got over here, well, let's just say it was no chore to play with him. ;-)

He was really nice, good to talk with, and very sexy. More importantly - he had a brain and a personality. Those are sooooo important as turn-ons. Great bodies are fabulous, don't get me wrong, but if he doesn't have two neurons firing upstairs forget it, it's not going to happen. The ones with personalities get a ton of brownie points in my book.

I don't regret the activity, but why can't I do these things on weekends when I can sleep in? ;-)

Archives

No Run, No Gym

Entry the Two Hundred and Fourth

16 December 2000

Lazy/Party

Nice lazy Saturday after seeing Doug last night. Got over to his place and slugged on him. We watched a DVD as I struggled to stay awake, then zonked. Got up and took care of him, *evil grin*, then off to a nice Thai lunch. Place was dead, but that wasn't a bad thing - waiters are very solicitous when you're their only customer.

So spent the afternoon chatting online with folks, including the gentleman from Thursday. I would like a repeat of that one, he was a good guy. The rest of chatting was fun and lighthearted, nothing too serious going on there, which was just right for the afternoon.

Then spent several hours, while chatting, trying to pick an outfit for the party RE was taking me to. Was trying to balance "center of attention" with "I'm here with someone." LOL! Ended up in a sweater and slacks, which was about right. The crowd was mixed, slacks and jeans, so it worked well. Wasn't precisely the youngest there (she was 13 months old *grin*), but was close. Altogether a nice party, not too raucous, not too tame. It worked.

Archives

No Run, No Gym

Entry the Two Hundred and Fifth

17 December 2000

Rituals

Lawrence and I decorated his tree tonight. He'd already brought it in and had it up for several days, but hadn't put anything on it yet. So after a lovely sushi dinner, we went back to his place, pulled out the ornaments and what not and went to work.

It's been a while since I decorated a Christmas tree. Most of the time my parents have one up already, if they're putting one up, by the time I get home for the holidays, and I don't put one up at home. My one nod to decorating this year will be a poinsettia I purchased from my now former supervisor. But other than that, I don't decorate. No tree, no lights, no garlands. Very dull. I've never felt much need to do this. The Ex and I did do a little bit of decorating, and had a miniature fake tree we'd put up, but that was it. Nothing major.

And you know what? I found I missed that ritual. I miss having ornaments that get hauled out once a year, to reminisce over the meanings and memories associated with each one. I miss having that chance to sit down and be with someone and go over things that have meaning for the holiday.

Rituals are important in life. They provide continuity, they provide for memory and a perpetuation of tradition. They also provide comfort in our lives, something that helps us to slow down and remember things that are important to us, and about us, and that transcend us. They are important to have, and important not to lose if they are useful and not hurtful.

Archives

Ran 30-odd min in RCP

Entry the Two Hundred and Sixth

18 December 2000

Busy maybe?

00/12/18 8:20 a.m.

Skipped the gym this morning in favor of extra sleep. Reset my alarm to go off with enough time to get ready just in case the radio didn't cut it; happily I didn't require the alarm. I have to say that having Morning Edition gently rouse me from slumber was much more pleasant than a jarring buzz from the alarm. I may have to try delaying the alarm in favor of the radio more often.

This week seems like a good one to contact recruiters. Few people will be in my office, and it'll be in time to give them a fresh resume for early year hiring. Yes, I risk them not being in themselves or being short staffed for the holidays, much like my own office, but so be it. Any reasoning that gets my resume out there more often is good reasoning. ;-) Keep your fingers crossed!!

This week promises to be a busy one, my office's staffing not withstanding. I still have Xmas shopping to do, and packing, and a haircut, and cleaning, etc. I refuse to leave the apartment a mess (mainly so I don't come back to a mess). Ain't gonna happen. G takes off this week as well, so the place will seem vacant I think.

Speaking of which, now that Doug is out of law school, we have to make a decision on living arrangements. I want to live with him, but that may entail finding a new place. Blah. Something to consider next year, two weeks hence. :-)

...

Well, didn't get all the resumes out that I wanted to. Registered with one site, then posted my resume to a second site I was registered with already. Whee. A start, and I'll try to get more out. Problem is my new boss is in this week and is stating deadlines for everything, which is a change from the laissez-faire attitude of the last boss. I'm working on rising to the challenge, but it's taking some adjusting, especially in her requests for legal information. I'm not sure how used she is to dealing with lawyers and how quickly, or slowly, we can work. We shall see, but in the meantime I'm busier than I expected to be, at least for the early part of the week.

Archives

No Run, No Gym

Entry the Two Hundred and Seventh

19 December 2000

Winding Down

Really don't have much to report today. Went to a late (expensive!!) lunch with my co-workers, spent the night with RE last night, got to the gym, tried to go shopping this evening (store was closed), got a good, greasy chili dog for dinner with Doug, came home with Doug, watched porn, jacked off. Typical, dull Tuesday. ;-)

I'm almost done with my shopping, but tonight's little snafu didn't help. Who ever heard of being open only three days a week?!?!? I don't care how hoity-toity you are, you open your bloody doors, especially right before Xmas. Ugh. Twits. So, I'll not be shopping there, and it throws my choice of gift for my brother back up into the air. Ick.

Heading home on Saturday with Doug. Conveniently, his family doesn't live that far from mine. It means we get to see each other over the break. I expect to continue to write these entries, though I won't post any until I return - not risking having these things on my parents' computer. :) They don't know about this diary and I'm perfectly happy that way. Will likely stay until Wednesday or so - don't think I want to do any more than that at this point, which means I'll have some time here in DC without having to go to work. Thank heavens! Some time off will be nice, time to wind down and just not have to do much of anything.

Archives

Gym for an hour

Entry the Two Hundred and Eighth

22 December 2000

Outta town!

Okay, so I finally broke the "every day" nature of the diary this month. I could go back and write more for the previous days, but screw it, I don't have the time or patience for that. As it stands now, I'm waiting for Italian take-out from the place downstairs, I'm trying to pack (having just gotten up from a 2.5 hour nap!), wrap presents, and get ready to head to Doug's place so we can get home tomorrow. After this entry, though I'll write on my palm, I'll not be updating until we return sometime the middle of next week.

I was proud of myself last night, I managed to go to Happy Hour and not end up smashed and/or with a hangover. Tired as all hell from being up, but not sick and not massively drunk, either. Went out to Omega 'cause my friend Sparky had commanded my presence to keep him company as he stayed up before his early morning flight today. His exact command was "You're coming to Happy Hour, you're staying late and you're not getting smashed." Okay. So I did that. Didn't touch alcohol until I'd been there for about two hours, sucking down water in the meanwhile. When I did have some, it was because a cute man decided to buy me a drink.

Not only did he buy me a drink, we continued to chat the rest of the evening. Was quite cute, and yes, I did get a phone number, and the possibility of a dinner date, too. :) Fabulous. *grin* Gotta love when the stars are in alignment.

I need to "not drink so much" more often - it was so much more comfortable being lucid, even at 1:30 in the morning, which was when I finally left Badlands (where Sparky and I had ended up after Omega for about a half an hour before I called it a night).

Anyway. So got no sleep last night, am tired as all hell (well, not that bad, but I did oversleep my nap this afternoon). My luggage is falling apart - a zipper died on the small piece and the large one's handle is starting to come off. I've not finished wrapping, and I'm now late for when I said I'd be at Doug's place. Eeck!

Well, whatever. I can't go back in time, so I'm going to post this, get to wrapping, and get the heck out of here. I'm looking forward to the time at my parents, but I wish it wasn't so stressful to prepare for this holiday. :-p

Archives

Danced last night

Entry the Two Hundred and Ninth

27 December 2000

Back in Business

Alright, I lied, I never touched the palm the entire time I was on vacation, so sue me. So much for recording thoughts while I was out of town! At least I'm back now (happily so!), Doug and I survived the vacation with both sets of relatives, and we're back in town.

Doug, however, does not have phone service, so no updating there. As usual, the phone monopoly here in the DC area (unnamed only because I don't want Google turning up my page when someone searches for them) has been slower than molasses in getting to fix it. He'll update as soon as he can, but in the meantime he's not able to do so.

Made out like a bandit (too much stuff!) from the parental units. The pride and joy, though, has to be the stuffed moose head mounted on a plaque that they found for me. :-) No, not a real moose head, a stuffed animal moose head! Looks fabu, though Doug says my room is on "moose overload" now. Nah. Can never have too many moose. *grin*

Anyway, I'll get a real entry up tomorrow, in the meantime I'm tired, my stomach hates me from all the dairy the past few days, and I want sleep!! I'm so glad to be back in my own bed again.

Archives

No Run, No Gym

Entry the Two Hundred and Tenth

28 December 2000

Happy Hour

I think it's time to move our regular happy hours to Friday night away from Thursday night. At least for me. I can't afford to stay out late on a work night, at least not as late as I'd like to and still function semi-well at work the next day.

And functioning well at work is a good thing.

It would also mean I would be free to go out dancing afterward and get sleep the next morning. I could do without the smoke, but the exercise would be nice. :-) Loved dancing tonight, I need to do that more often. That and I need to do more regular cardio exercise to get rid of this excess weight. :-p

...

Other than the nice time dancing, and time down during the day (including cleaning - the kitchen's finally clean again!), happy hour itself was a tad dramatic. There's a young man who's been there the past two weeks who is rather compelling. Unfortunately, one of the gentlemen I know who was at the bar was less than polite to this young man and I caught holy hell for not immediately jumping to his defense. Ergh.

I fell all over myself apologizing, of course, and did say something to the gentlemen in question, but it didn't seem to be quite enough. Not sure how much of that was me, how much was the other parties, and how much was the alcohol, but we'll see how it plays out. I do hope that I've not alienated the young man as he's a most pleasant person to be around, and I would like to get to know him better.

*sigh*

Nothing quite like a nice misunderstanding to start a friendship.

Archives

10 min on the recumbent bike, 60 min dancing

Entry the Two Hundred and Eleventh

29 December 2000

Anti-social

00/12/29 5:35 p.m.

Heading out to the 'burbs for dinner with RE & Doug this evening. I eschewed the chance to stay overnight for a couple of reasons, chief among them a snow storm we're expecting this evening after midnight and the fact that I just didn't feel up to being out again so soon after vacation. I missed my own bed and I want some time in it, even if that means time alone in it.

Got a nice run in this afternoon, a much needed burst of physical activity. Tried out the new Gore-tex jacket I got for Xmas. It worked fabulously, and I have to say it was great to not feel the wind blowing through my normal cold weather running tops. Have a matching set of wind pants that'll be great for the rain, but it was a tad too cold out for those today.

'Twas interesting running while there is still snow on the ground (though not on the trail itself). Was very peaceful, and even less busy than the normal scarce crowd; I think I saw maybe four runners the whole time I was out.

...

00/12/29 9:05 p.m.

A lovely dinner, of course, though I cannot figure out why I am feeling so anti-social this evening. I guess I'm just at social overload, even for me.

Not sure what, if anything, I will do with the rest of my night. Likely sip tea and either chat or kill critters on one game or another. How depressingly dull, but I don't seem to feel the energy for anything else. Blah. Ah well, "into each life some rain must fall" and what not. I'll get over it soon enough.

Archives

Ran 30 min in RCP

Entry the Two Hundred and Twelfth

30 December 2000

"Toppish"

So far so good, managed to get out and do 45 minutes on the recumbent bike upstairs. Whee. Much easier to do while you read, by the way. Went much faster with much less thought (the best way when on an exercise bike in an air-controlled facility and not outside dealing with terrain and nature and what not). Was reading "Sex and the City" by Candace Bushnell and it was marvelous to read there. Not too deep, just right for taking my mind off the exercise.

Which, despite my non-attention, still left me soaked at the end. A good workout, then.

Other than that, I cooked. And cleaned. And generally kvetched about the total lack of snow today. They were saying 2-8" of the stuff would be on the ground this morning, so last night I got out recipe books, looked up things to bake and make and what not to keep busy today. Went to bed around 1am, no snow yet. Got up, not a flake. Nada. Talk about screwing that one up. That's okay, it just means the next big one will be under reported ;-) Gotta love it.

Oooh, got a racing picture proof in the mail today for my 10k back in October. It's a good one, so I'm going to order a couple of 'em, and once I can, I'll get it scanned and uploaded. Too cool!

Nice quiet evening with Doug. Grocery shopped, came back and cooked, played around setting things up for a solo photo shoot he'll have me do of him tomorrow (complete with leather and rope *grin*), then calmed down and read together. A nice home night.

Also set things with Lawrence for Monday rather than the usual Sunday given the holiday tomorrow. I look forward to seeing him again, since we missed each other last week when I was away for the Xmas break. Going to see RE on Wednesday, and hopefully I'll not be as surly as I was yesterday. *sigh* Felt bad that I was being such a little shit, but the social urge was not in me.

Oh, and I changed my profile on gay.com to add the word "toppish" per Doug's invention of it. Seems I was being discussed (as usual - I seem to come up a lot in the chat room) and my friend DCWabbit called me, as he is wont to do, pinkish, so Doug had to "top" that by calling me "toppish." I liked that, it works, and it's certainly more informative and interesting that just plain putting "top" in your profile. It's not like I always have to top, I just tend that way most days (thank you stomach problems), so I like the tone of it. "Toppish." I like that. ;-)

Archives

Recumbent Bike for 45 min

Entry the Two Hundred and Thirteenth

31 December 2000

Happy New Year

The problem with going through a massive cooking phase it that then you have tons of leftovers. :) I don't mind leftovers at all, though I understand some people do. We always ate them in my family; heck, sometimes you want it the second day moreso than the first because the seasonings have had a chance to come together. *shrug* But it does mean I have more than a little bit of food in the fridge. May have to freeze some as I'd really rather not waste any of it.

The picture session with Doug was interrupted by his batteries. Got one good pic, then the batteries, for no reason 'cause they had been charged, decided to die on us. Oh well, for some time in the future, then. Go check out today's entry at his diary (the original one, not the continuation). I think he looks good, but then again I'm biased that way.

As we end this year, I think overall it was a good one. Found Doug, found Lawrence, found RE, as well as many other playmates. ;-) I'm in better shape than when I began, despite my bitching about my current weight. I ran 2 5ks and a 10k for the first times in my life. I lost one room mate and gained another, both of whom are great people. I'm healthy, I'm still working, I've a steady income, and overall I feel good about the year. Not a bad way to end things.

It's certainly better than this time last year when I was still in the throes of mono!

Going out for sushi later tonight with G, then back in to have a quiet night at home. I want to go running tomorrow, as I did last year this time, and celebrate the new year in that way.

Archives

No Run, No Gym