Entry the Five Hundred and Seventy Seventh

01 October 2003

Bad to Worse

Okay, just as I have weaned saying "never" from my vocabulary, I now find I must wean out the phrase, "Well, it can't get any worse."

Today had to have been one of the worst days of my federal career, if not the worst. I had thought yesterday, the last official day of the fiscal year, was bad, but oh was I mistaken. Let's just say that several big mistakes were made over the past month and they all came to roost today. The semi-big boss didn't quite yell at me, but she was so damned close it was scary. And the worst thing was, she's someone I very much look up to and respect, so to see that from her had to be right up there with having your mother tell you she's disappointed in you.

Ouch.

It was an absolute reminder of why I despise working where I do, where I'm doing things for which I was never truly trained, and yet am held accountable for trying to do the half-assed job I manage to eke out. I've said it before, but today was the true showing of it, they hired me for my law degree, not my math skills, and now they're reaping the reward of that decision.

Unlike last night I did not come home and have some alcohol with dinner (not much yesterday, but a mild buzz). I did come home, stay calm, and then finish writing the KSAs for the other attorney position I'm applying for this week in-house (same headquarters, different staff). That's been e-mailed to work, and I'll print it all out tomorrow and hand deliver it (down the hall) to personnel. It's due Friday, so am squeaking in under the deadline, but no matter. As long as it's in before the closing date, the exact when doesn't matter. Hopefully the certification on that will happen quickly, and personnel already knows I'm applying and they expect to include me there. No idea on interviews, but one step at a time.

No word yet from the other BGA, which is probably a neutral thing (despite my constant "Calgon, take me away!" pleas inside this week and last). I hesitate to call, but I probably should just to check in and let them know I'm still interested in the position and offer to give them any additional information they may need.

Breathing without chemicals this evening, unlike this afternoon when nothing would help because of the state of panic in which I found myself. I hope this thing gets better and fast because if I'm still all sniffly Friday morning then I'm canceling my party on Saturday. No sense in infecting the guests, nor in denying myself a good time at my own party.

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Entry the Five Hundred and Seventy Eighth

07 October 2003

Klutzy, Definitely Klutzy

So, I thought I'd get back to exercising. Silly moose. Went running Monday. About a minute out I hit a rock the wrong way. Promptly sprained my ankle, fell, and scraped up my hands with some lovely road rash while avoiding hitting my face on the pavement.

Nothing quite like trying to get upstairs and not drip blood in the hallway or elevator.

Have everything all bandaged up now, and am healing apace. Took the past two days off from work to put it up, rest, etc. Don't see how people watch this much TV! It about drove me batty. I'm actually looking forward to the office just to get around people again.

In other news, the party went well. No sex afterwards, unlike Doug's parties, but c'est la vie. Another time perhaps. No hangover the next day, either, which was a very nice thing.

Almost met Mark yesterday, but his flight was delayed out of SFO, so no go. Perhaps when I'm in Sacramento later this month he can zip up or I can arrange to zip over. We'll see when I get in and can make flight arrangements this week. Am looking forward to meeting him, I've been reading his site for a bit.

So that's the news so far. Will continue to try and heal up, and I suspect the next running will be on a treadmill until it's strong enough to perhaps encounter rocks again. The joys of outdoor running. Until then, I'll just try not to fall over again. ;-p

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Entry the Five Hundred and Seventy Ninth

09 October 2003

Interview #3

03/10/8 8:49 a.m.

Okay, foot is still very swollen, was difficult getting it in the shoe with the brace on. Managed to limp down to the bus and score a seat, though, so it looks like the audit meeting will happen as planned.

Also managed to cover the left palm, where the biggest damage was, with a knee/elbow Band-Aid, so that's more secure than gauze has been. That goes a long way toward reassuring me about heading in to work. I could still type some, but its not the easiest thing, holding the palms off the keyboard. Hell, even holding my Palm this morning is a chore. Hand injuries are definitely the new benchmark for pains in the ass now. Not the most painful, but definitely the most inconvenient.

...

03/10/9 9:05 a.m.

Thank heavens for priority seating on the bus. I stay out of the front section most days but when I need it I'm not shy about asking for it.

Had the health unit at work rewrap my hands, then promptly came back to my office and switched out the bandages. I have waterproof (read: leak-proof) ones that work better than the standard type. And yes, I am still a geek.

Third interview today at the other BGA. This is mainly a "meet the big boss" event that many agencies do to introduce new hires to the head honcho (my current agency did the same). Which means the offer will come soon, if not today.

I am, of course, incredibly excited about moving agencies. I really want this to happen, and I really want out of where I am now. I want to deal in fiscal law abstractions, not in the day to day management of actual funding sources. I want to dump spreadsheets as a normal, everyday tool at work and make them an occasional tool used to illustrate a point.

I want change. And change seems to be within my grasp.

...

9:08 p.m.

The interview went well. The GC wasn't quite what I was expecting, I was thinking she'd be a little less frumpy than she was. But it did seem to go well, and they expect to make a decision quickly, pending finding out whether they can hire under the continuing resolution we're under (because why should Congress get off their collective asses and get a budget passed on time?). Hopefully they will be able to do so and I can escape quickly.

In the meantime, I'll try to get things together with a mind to leaving. Cannot jump the gun, but can try to make my life easier in the meantime.

Dinner out with Richard, Ethiopian, and he's watching the new Will & Grace as I type in here. He finally moves his stuff up here on Monday, so then he'll be ensconced in the place and we'll be able to make final decisions like where the art on the walls will go. And how we'll handle our respective other partners/tricks/buddies, etc. ;-)

Going to head to Sacramento for work week after next, and I'm looking to see how much it'll be to just come back home on Sunday from San Francisco instead and rent a car to head over that way and see Mark and/or Chay. The weekend away from home would be nice, and I could use the time off in a city not my own, where I can't just sit around the house all day and be a lump.

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Entry the Five Hundred and Eightieth

11 October 2003

Complete Once More

Decided, since I'm already in a healing phase and I probably need to rest the ankle for an extended time after this latest sprain anyway, and because the hands aren't going to let me into the pool any time soon either, I should go ahead and get the other piercing I wanted.

In discussing this with Richard this morning (since he's the most directly affected by anything I do to my body), I was toying between getting the scrotum re-done in the proper place or getting my tongue done. I had pretty much decided the scrotum was the way to go when he mentioned that I should just go whole hog and add all three "missing" piercings back at once.

of course, he also said that if they didn't heal right he never suggested this, but if they did he'd be happy to be to blame for it *grin*

So, called Fatty's, confirmed I could take my existing jewelry in to be autoclaved, got cleaned up and headed down to Dupont to further injure my body.

They were, as always, very sweet at Fatty's. Jason's still piercing, so had a nice conversation with him as I dropped off the rings and headed over to Cosi for some lunch. Got a good sandwich, had a nice soy steamer (no caffeine) and a big bottle of water. Wandered back over about 45 minutes later.

Paid for the piercings, signed the waivers, got my ID copied, etc. The standard pre-piercing/pre-tattoo ritual. Jason called me back after a bit and we got down to business.

Decided to do the nips first, then the scrotum as I had (incorrectly) remembered the nips as being more painful to have done. He drew around where they should go in, marking it well so to get the needle in the right place around where it had healed from the previous attempt at these beasties. Had me show him where the old scrotal piercing had gone in and I discussed with him that it had been too high and had ended up more a lorum (base of the penis), which was not what I wanted. We marked the approximate spot to put the lower one in and I laid down on the table.

Was cold in the room, especially with no shirt and my pants around my knees. We chatted about this, that and the other. He's got some job prospects that look good, and I shared my hope about the other BGA job. Finally we were ready and he got out the clamps for the nipples.

He put them in place and I instinctively started to do deep breaths. He told me he'd put the needle in on the third one. I honestly expected it to go in sooner (some piercers will do that to you to cut down on the anticipation), but he held out as he said. One breath in, one out. Second in, second out. Third in, third out and on the out, in when the first needle.

It was more painful that I'd remembered, but still not bad. A sharp intake a breath, a quick placement of jewelry and the captive bead, and one down.

He moved to the second side, same ritual. Third breath in, third out and in went the jewelry. So far, so good.

He finished with those and prepared the scrotum for the next piercing. By this point I was so cold the area was all shrunken up and not perhaps the best for a piercing. He got it into the clamps at a standard depth and I quickly wished I had done more than a cursory shave because the hairs in the clamps were not comfortable. He got it all set up, though, and started me on the breaths.

One in, one out. He placed the needle and got it lined up right.

One in, one out. Next one's the one.

One in, one out, in went the needle.

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.

That was much more painful that I had remembered, but, as with the PA, quickly faded as the urge to arch my back and scream passed and my breathing slowed back down ;-p

It's bleeding some now (the nipples haven't bled at all), probably due to the relaxation of the skin as it warmed back up in my pants. That'll pass soon, then it's just a matter of keeping everything clean and healing nicely.

This time, unlike the previous times I've done these piercings, I know what to do, including cutting out the caffeine, cutting out the alcohol, and ensuring I get good food in me, a good multivitamin, and lots of rest. Done that before when I had a goal, now we'll see how it goes with this goal. Have wanted these back for a while, never having felt entirely comfortable with having to take them out, so here goes.

It feels complete again, all of my metal back where it belongs.

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Entry the Five Hundred and Eighty First

12 October 2003

Anticipation

Richard and all his worldly possessions arrive tomorrow morning at the apartment. This interim phase of having just me and my stuff in here will come to a (blessed) end. The next phase of life, of living with someone else, now begins.

There are a variety of emotions associated with this. I'm happy that he's coming up. I'm relieved to have this interim phase done and over with. I'm pleased that I'll have someone to help with the house. I'm curious to see where our respective dating and sex lives will lead with the two of us under one roof. I'm trepidatious that he'll find some aspect of me that was previously buried that will now come out and drive him crazy.

In balance, this is a good thing, no questions asked. The changes in behavior and how we mesh and clash are going to be interesting to watch. We both have some strong opinions on some things, and some areas where we just don't care. Hopefully those will compliment more than they come head to head, and when they do clash, we'll have enough sense to see something through.

So, a night of anticipation. Time to begin the next stage.

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Entry the Five Hundred and Eighty Second

13 October 2003

Restless

I think the true victim of all of my various injuries is going to be my sanity.

I don't see how people sit and watch hour upon hour of television. I did so today, as much as I could stand, and even hauled out my long-neglected cross stitching to work on while I sat there. Though I was going to go batty. There's but so much I can take.

But hey, I'm 85% done with a cross-stitch copy of the seal from my graduate school now. *silent scream*

The problem is that I've spent too much time on my foot, I think, and the ankle is not happy with me. :-/ So today was all about sitting on my ass with the foot elevated as much as possible. It's helped, it feels better and the last bits of swelling have gone down, but it's driving me nuts.

Richard got his stuff moved in around me. I felt like a total slacker as the movers brought stuff into the place around me and I just stayed sitting in front of the TV stitching away, but when you can't do it, you can't do it. Hell, I can't even do dishes because of the bandages on the hands.

The hands are looking much better, though. The constant bandaging seems to have paid off and nice, new pink skin is rapidly covering over the wounds, to the point that the one hand should be safe without bandages in another week, I think. Will continue to take it easy there so I can at least get back the full use of those (which means I'd be able to do hand jobs, at least *grin*).

Am almost set for my trip to Sacramento and San Francisco next week. I've got a bed confirmed at Mark's place, and am looking forward to meeting him and his partner weekend after next. Sacramento is work, and the ticket price is cut in half if I stay over the weekend and fly out of SF instead, and since the government is always happy to save money, so it's a plus all around. Hopefully will be one of the last trips I take for the current BGA, but I'm not counting my chickens yet.

So, aside from my sanity from being laid up, today wasn't bad. Good food, the furniture's all set up in the common area now, and it looks good together (thank heavens!).

The piercings continue to behave themselves. I need to start on the saline soaks tomorrow, or perhaps just before bed tonight. Those should help the outside toughen up and handle the jewelry better. I think the edges may have been an issue last time, so anything to help them heal faster/better/tougher is a good thing this time around. If only they could all be as easily healed as the Prince Albert. But, so far so good, so it's looking better this time.

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Entry the Five Hundred and Eighty Third

18 October 2003

Still Restless But Healing, Mostly

Walked today to the local farmer's market with Richard, listened to one of the store owners about a bitchy neighbor (not one of my constituents) who's giving her grief, did laundry, and that was more than enough walking.

I wore the wrap but not a brace yesterday and today. I had the brace with me yesterday in case I needed it at work, but didn't wear it. Was much more comfortable without it on, but it was a tad awkward at times with the silly ankle. The wrap helps a lot, but I should probably have the silly thing up more than I do. The bruising is mostly gone, even in the places it last appeared (opposite side of the heal, toes, etc.), and the swelling has gone down considerably - I can see veins again on the foot and the ankle itself is back to normal.

The hands are itching under the bandages, but are healing apace. The piercings are doing very well. The last of the blood has stopped on the scrotal ring and there's only a bit of "crusties" appearing now. The nips never did bleed (Yay!), and have only had a minimal amount of crusties this time. I suspect the pliable nature of the scrotum is what's causing the issues there - the flesh is always expanding and shrinking as the scrotum heats and cools. But is no more than usual, so I'm not worried.

Head off Monday for Sacramento and then to SF for the weekend. Am very much looking forward to getting out of town for a week. I just want the other BGA to call already! Wednesday the paralegal I've been dealing with at the other BGA called to get my date of birth. Now, why ask for that if you're not making an offer?!?!? Ugh. I just want them to call now (or send a letter, or whatever) so I can say "take this job and shove it!" to my current one. Politely, of course - no sense in burning bridges and I do like the people, just not the work. I just want to move on to other things. I'm not feeling challenged any more, just frustrated.

Ran into a woman with whom I went to high school. She's also an attorney in town and we did the card exchange so I'll drop her a line once I'm back in town. The third person from high school I've run into up here (one works in my office as a contractor - strange world!). Is a good thing.

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Entry the Five Hundred and Eighty Fourth

31 October 2003

The Past Week or So, en Palm

03/10/20 1:56 p.m.

Second flight, again with the middle seat. I was nice and traded with a gentleman so he and his friend could sit next to each other. The boy beside me at the window has closed it and buried himself under a blanket, preferring sleep to boredom I suppose.

Am going to have to have it out with the BGA's travel agency - neither of the flights had a veggie meal for me. The profile has that in it, but I suppose that didn't make it over to the airline. Wasn't too bad a deal, I'd eaten before both flights, but still was annoying to get a turkey sandwich with cheese dumped on me on the second flight (yogurt and some egg and dairy laden food bar on the first).

And there's another thing, we didn't get "meal service" on either flight (American), we got bags that you had to pick up on the way in, and then they did a beverage service. Cheaper and easier I suppose, but still, like you can't hand people the bags on the flight? Flying is not what it was.

...

03/10/20 9:42 a.m.

It's a bad idea to try and read a homoerotic novel on the plane when you're stuck in the middle seat. It's not a good thing. ;-)

Stuck here, alone with my thoughts, music going on the CD player. No in-flight movie this time (the VCR or equivalent seems to be broken), and the book isn't doing much for me (or, rather it's doing a lot for me, but all the wrong things), so out comes the Palm and keyboard to do some writing.

Which reminds me. My parents called me yesterday to talk about Christmas gifts. They were thinking about getting me a new computer, which is a fabulous idea as far as I'm concerned, but I don't need a new desktop at the moment. My system is still relatively new and up to speed, so no worries there. But they're open to the idea of a tablet PC or laptop, so I need to do some research now and decide what sort of portable thing I want to get. I have to admit that I'm fascinated by the idea of the tablet PC replacing my organizer an being a small something I can easily carry around the apartment on which to do email and the like. I'm just not sure whether they're ready to go yet. The new generation of tablets seem to have solved some of the early issues with them, but I really need to get into a store and play with one to see what they're actually like and how good the handwriting recognition is. It's not like I'm not used to an abbreviated handwriting system (e.g., Palm's graffiti system), but the whole thing with these is supposed to be that you just write on them without having to deal with a huge interface issue.

It would end up replacing my paper organizer, since they both weigh about the same and this would hold more memory for me, not to mention letting me do other tasks while on the go. If I use it, that is. I'm notorious for getting al organized and then slacking off. "Determined," as one reader put it, though I'm not sure how well I stick with that determination.

And I have to point out that this is one of the most uncomfortable airplane seats I've ever had. I hope the next plane is a different model. But I have a feeling this is going to be an interminably long flight. The joys of time zone shifts.

I also thought about getting, if I may go back to gadgets, one of the new Treo 600 organizers from Handspring/PalmOne. They're supposed to come out with a model for AT&T Wireless, which is my carrier, but it's not out quite yet. I've seen other PDA phones, like the flip one that Lawrence carries, and I like the idea of one device instead of two to carry. Another question of whether I'd use it. I probably would, given that I always carry my cell phone with me. I'd certainly use it more for games and other amusements, if nothing else. Would be few excuses to either a) not have the phone or b) not have the schedule. Sync up the Treo and the tablet and I'd be way over organized. ;-p Or I'd have the potential to be, at least.

...

Spent the late morning and most of the afternoon yesterday cleaning up clothes and seeing what clothes I did and did not need to keep because they would or would not ever be worn again. Turned the web cam on for the hell of it, which was fun. Chatted with a couple folks as well, but mainly was just me on cam trying on clothes and cleaning out and repacking drawers. Much space was realized, and many no longer fashionable items were discarded. Got several comments from folks when I tried on pants. ;-p

okay, the cramped conditions are beginning to wear on the foot and it's getting very sore now. grrrr.

...

03/10/24 9:36 p.m.

Job done, done well, and the office here in Sacramento is pleased with what's been done. Is always good to leave a job and feel good about what happened there.

On the train now from Sacramento down to Emeryville, which I gather is down in the Bay area, without really knowing where the heck it is. One stop up from Oakland's Jack London Square, an close to one end of one the bridges, but past that, no clue. Mark is coming to meet me there, taking at least part of the day off to come get me, for which I'm very grateful. He's been very sweet through this whole process, and I'm definitely looking forward to meeting him and his partner Richard (two Richards to discuss - how much fun will that be?).

I've had very good luck making friends over the net. I generally have a good sense for folks from talking to them, though there are obvious mistakes. I feel good about this one; Mark's been a sweetie, and this should be a good time.

I'm especially looking forward to a weekend out of town with no job worries, no family members around, and no real responsibilities, past perhaps picking up some souvenirs for folks at home. I take so few trips that are purely for myself that I have to savor them when they happen. Which is not to say that I don't do many things purely for myself, I certainly acknowledge that I'm a pretty selfish little shit, but travel is not one of those things.

The trip here through the valley is looking good. It's flat as all here, lots of farmland, and I can see where someone would get terribly bored living in Sacramento if you didn't have ready access to a car or work in one of the government services.

side note: someone who got on in Davis really needs to bathe better. it's not overwhelming, but it is noticeable. just sayin'.

...

03/10/28 9:00 a.m.

Am still exhausted from the flights and delays and still going to work yesterday to give notice. I was up at midnight, despite taking melatonin, typing an email to myself at work in response to a crisis-that-isn't from our field offices. This is going to be a long three to five weeks.

Long story short, the call came last Friday and I've accepted the attorney advisor position at the other Big Government Agency. The Human Resource (Human Capitol?) folks are trading information now about my start date. There's an issue now as to my grade level when I come on board, whether it will be the next one up or my current one, and I hope to resolve that quickly this morning (and hopefully in my favor). The paperwork given to HR said hire at the higher level and with a switch to excepted service I understand they can do that even without "time in grade" as under the civil service.

Am keeping my fingers crossed.

I essentially spent yesterday walking around and telling people I was leaving. It was liberating and saddening all at once. Folks are happy for me, but upset to see me go. I just know I'm going to bawl at the going away party.

...

03/10/29 8:57 a.m.

Yesterday at work was quite the fiasco. Long story short something blew up all over the place and because of my positions on some issues I was right in the middle of it. It would have blown up anyway, but was exacerbated by my impending exit. The last days are going to be nuts anyway, but what a mess.

Went to a high heel race party. 'Twas raining so I never left for the race itself, but was a good time. Hadn't expected to attend at all, but I managed to snag a hair appointment and therefore was right around the corner so I decided at the last minute to attend. Richard was happy to see me there and showed me off to his friends. ;-) Was a nice change from the rest of the day.

I'm still not fully recovered from the sleep deficit, and I don't expect I'll get over the need for caffeine until after I move, so functioning is going to be limited until then. Tonight's a date night with Richard, then I think tomorrow is "catch up" night for email and sleep.

...

03/10/30 8:52 a.m.

I've yet to post any of the entries from the past two weeks up on the site. Might have last night, but was trying to set up our new wireless network instead. My computer's going pretty well, but Richard's is not behaving. All the more incentive to switch to an Apple machine. I'll rip his computer apart tonight and see what's up there.

Spent a good deal of time tweaking settings for the boot-up. His startup folder had all kinds of junk and there must be some more I'm not finding because it's still taking entirely too long to reboot the thing. "Fast boot" programs may sound good but given how often one has to reboot an MS operating system it's just not worth it.

...

03/10/31 8:59 a.m.

Another morning, another entry unposted.

It is taking some adjustment to get used to the whole "living together" model once more. What expenses are shared, what events are done together, &c. It still comes as a surprise every now and again when things come up and suddenly stuff that has always been solo is now shared. It's not a bad thing, it was just a forgotten thing.

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