Entry the Five Hundred and Fifty Second

06 July 2003

Fatigued

I spent most of the holiday weekend recovering from Thursday evening.

Went out to JRs, then hOmega, then Apex, all with friends. Danced for an hour or so at Apex. When I left the line was out the door, down the street and almost to the end of the block. Crazy. The beginning of the 3 day weekend, I suppose.

Had several cokes and a single Jack and Coke at Apex (yeah, I had alcohol - first time in how many months now?). Wasn't going to sleep well at all that night. Hooked up with a young man who'll be known as AH, a 20 year old vegetarian down in the Logan circle area. Was fun, but I am reminded of all of the reasons a) I haven't hooked up in ages and b) I don't generally date under 27 or so. He was out of toilet paper. Thank heavens I had the foresight to bike down and take shower supplies or someone might have gotten hurt.

Friday I saw the fireworks at Doug's place with he, Roger, C and our friend Donny (who had flown in from Texas). Was good to see them all. Rode down, so had to go through the security around the Mall. Thank heavens I wasn't carrying any liquor down there. The ride back was a trip (riding through the park at 11:30 is sooooo much fun - not!), but got home safely without incident. Well, aside from yelling at one driver on Piney Branch, without incident.

Ran this morning. Not as miserable as last week's long run, but not exactly stellar. I need to slow back down and build up in this new summer heat - I'm not acclimated to it yet, and it's kicking my ass at the moment. AC has spoiled me too much. So I'll drop the mileage next week and try for 6 miles without interruption. What a mess. But better it happen now than this time next month! I've still time for the build up and a taper, but I've got to knuckle down and get some decent sleep or it'll be for naught.

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Entry the Five Hundred and Fifty Third

08 July 2003

The Price We Pay

I'm headed into my HMO tomorrow for a rapid strep test. Whee! I've been trying to pretend this sore throat was temporary, but it's been here for three days, so time for a test.

Mmmm, drugs.

The advice nurse was all panicky about me not drinking enough fluids. Like I'd let myself dehydrate. As if! As it is I'm drinking enough water each day to float a few barges. When all you drink is soy milk with breakfast and water the rest of the day (allllll day), it's not an issue. Was funny to listen to her, though. I know the surveys they use to talk to folks are written to the lowest common denominator, but there are times when I wish they'd flag the file with "Eagle Scout, has two advanced degrees, can talk to him like an adult" so I'm not being talked down to. Dorks.

The price I pay for going out Thursday and kissing strange boys.

So, my plans for cooking for Richard and I tomorrow evening may or may not happen. I finally finished reading through The Garden of Vegan last night and I'm feeling really excited about some of the recipes (yeah, I'm a cooking dork, sue me), so wanted to cook a few soon. Cooking for someone else with strep, however, is a Bad Idea if you don't want them to get it, too.

Oh, yeah, and the nurse was like, "And no sharing saliva with anyone else until we know you're not contagious." As if I want to kiss someone when my throat's all gross inside. Besides, I'm not nearly that sadistic (you hope) to wish this on someone else. "Let it die here" is my motto on colds.

Not that I'm above sharing it with work, that is. ;-)

Speaking of which, I had emailed the KSA for this job with another Big Government Agency that I found online to myself and the email never made it, so I put the file on disk and promptly left the disk at work. D'oh! Thankfully I was able to retrieve the email from cyberspace (was caught in my spam filter - a .gov address in spam? bizarre) so I have it to complete tomorrow. Now let's just hope the printer works better in WinXP than it did in '98.

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Entry the Five Hundred and Fifty Fourth

10 July 2003

Job Ap/Law Enforcement

03/7/10 8:59 a.m.

There are days when I just want to knock off work so I can get everything else in my life done. Despite taking yesterday off to deal with the strep I got this weekend, I didn't get much done past napping and finishing a book I was reading. Not bad, mind you, but I have other things I need to get done - both in my private and public capacities - and soon.

One of those is completing a job application with another Big Gov't Agency. That must and will go out today. And, hopefully, that will mean an eventual end to spreadsheets for me. At least in my professional capacity.

The other big one is catching up on the trouble tickets I have in with the city gov't. I have several outstanding and I need to follow up on the status.

The strep is much better today after a day of penicillin. I will, of course, complete the full course and kill it off completely, and I really wish the health professionals at my HMO would stop with the reminders already. It irks me whenever a nurse or doctor lectures me as if I were a child. I mean, c'mon, I'm thirty years old, an Eagle Scout, I have two advanced degrees, and I've been sick often enough to know how to take the drugs. If I have questions, I ask.

I understand why they have to treat us all as if we were idiots - I've seen the quality of patient that comes through their doors. I just wish they could flag my file with something like "not an idiot; can talk to him like he's an intelligent adult" or the like.

And yes, as if there were any doubt before those last two paragraphs, I am a classist snob.

...

03/7/10 6:38 p.m.

Job application completed and mailed by lunch time. So at least one task is done. Keep your fingers crossed, gentle readers, that I can escape from spreadsheet hell with this one.

...

Okay, directly from work to a police meeting in a private home. It went well. Follow-up meeting next Thursday with a local business owner. The usual complaints, drugs, guns, violence. Two shooting incidents last week, so folks are understandably up in arms. Hopefully can calm them down and get their help in spotting folks and getting more info to the police.

Finally got home after 9 and made some shuijiao (well, zhenjiao really, since they were steamed and not boiled) and had those and the last of a loaf of my maple oatmeal bread with some jelly. Am tempted to make some freezer jelly, but getting enough fruit is the fun part. Perhaps at the farmer's market or something.

So, not a bad day/night. Not particularly pleased with the late bedtime, but it works I suppose. With the strep I can't really exercise until Saturday, so no worries about getting up later.

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Entry the Five Hundred and Fifty Fifth

14 July 2003

Missed

AH and I were trading messages today about dinner, and then it just sort of petered out. Oh well, the pasta, broccoli and peanut sauce mixture I made was good. His loss.

Did laundry this evening as I prepare to go to South Carolina again tomorrow, this time just for a day trip, so I'll be back tomorrow evening. I'm doing a live (eeck!) broadcast on Big Gov't Agency TV (our internal TV network) on some hyper-technical legal stuff I do. It's a call-in show, too, so that's going to be a hoot. I've done one taped broadcast for them before, but never live. I suppose I should look upon this as an opportunity to get comfortable in front of the TV and teleprompter before I have to do so in front of constituents.

As per my usual M.O. on these talks, I'm minimally prepared for the talk itself, but it's a topic on which I've spoken many, many times and I won't have a problem winging it. I'll make notes on my Palm tomorrow on the plane (let's hear it for the Palm keyboard!) and use those in the talk if need be.

Work was busier than usual. We're in one of our crunch weeks, and it's been made worse by a moved-up deadline this time, so my co-workers are all in major stress mode. I was trying to meet a noon deadline tomorrow (which I did) but it took a lot of wrangling with several field offices to get information from them. Times like these I both love because I become very useful to most people in the office, and hate because the imprecision of it all drives me nuts.

Was doing some thinking on the way to work today, about the position I just applied for (which, as I check the USPS web site, was delivered today at 11:39 a.m. - so was both postmarked and delivered prior to the deadline for applications). Unlike the hybrid position I'm in now, it would be an attorney-advisor position, and I was imaging taking the position and feeling like pinocchio - "Now I'm a real [attorney]!" Is not so much to wish for, but it's where I want to be now. There's not much of a future in the office where I am now; I've gone to the top of where I can go without leaving, so is time to move on. Let's just hope the other BGA thinks so, too.

I stopped into the leasing office here and there are no two bedrooms available this month, so no moving yet. Will check with them at the beginning of next month. We're not desperate, so we (Richard and I) can wait for now, and actually can be a little picky, too. There are areas of the building in which I would not want to live, so if it's not on a good floor, phooey on it. Within reason, of course.

Run this morning went well, was pleased with that. The penicillin seems to have knocked out the strep, so now it's just a matter of finishing off the batch to get the little buggers good and dead. Will be glad when it's over and I can return to "normal" again, whatever normal is for me.

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Run in RCP

Entry the Five Hundred and Fifty Sixth

21 July 2003

Changing Expectations

03/7/21 8:46 a.m.

I learned again why I am not drinking in the run up to this race. I had two glasses of wine with dinner last night (sushi!), so was alcohol with food. But didn't sleep well last night, and was sluggish this morning for my run. Add to that a very humid morning and it made for a less than pleasant 3 miles.

Now, I say that with the realization that it wasn't truly bad this morning in that I didn't get injured and I didn't have to walk. But was not the most comfortable and certainly not my best effort. I guess I'm annoyed at the whole thing because a) I drank, albeit moderately, when I said I would not, and b) it showed me that I don't react well to the stuff now and I'm afraid what was a "temporary" thing may become long term/permanent. It's change, and mildly uncomfortable change, and like any change it's difficult to accept.

The difference this time is that I've seen what a difference this makes in my health and I don't want to go back to how I felt before. I have not felt this good about my body and what I'm doing with it in a long time. I really don't want anything to interfere with that. I'm running well, the swimming is slowly improving, I've added weights and not been instantly bored by them. I have other chronic conditions mainly under control without (much) medication (i.e., allergies, my stomach, etc.). I like this. I feel good, and I want to preserve that feeling. And if that means continuing to not drink, so be it.

...

03/7/21 6:25 p.m.

In thinking over the whole question of why I'm irritated over this unwillingness to drink, I'm struck by the notion that it has to do with changing expectations of what I can do with my body. It can only accept but so much punishment before it rebels, and this particular punishment is not well tolerated. And I feel annoyed and, to some extent, betrayed by that physical reaction.

I used to be able to stay up until the wee hours and still function the next day (with caffeine on either end). I could drink, rest just a bit, and run along without many hangover symptoms getting in the way.

At least, that's my romanticized view of it. The reality is much less glamorous and fun, but who wants to romanticize hangovers and functioning on too little sleep?

I want to do it all, and I can't, and that annoys me to no end.

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Entry the Five Hundred and Fifty Seventh

25 July 2003

Catch Up

03/7/22 9:18 a.m.

Stomach was not happy this morning, though it appears to have worked itself out now (as it were). Were I to have one wish about my health I think it would be to have an iron stomach. I think it's always been a bit of a mess, but it took until 28(?) to do something about it in the form of twice daily adult tang. I think I missed yesterday morning's dose, which was enough to throw it all slightly out of whack.

You'd think a vegan would get enough fiber. Go fig.

...

03/7/23 8:56 a.m.

Could not get "Let It Be" by Hootie and the Blowfish out of my head on my morning run. Have no idea why, I don't recall hearing it lately, but it would not go away.

Big article on rats in this morning's paper, which reminded me that I need to follow up on some calls I've made on the subject. Like any city we have a rat problem and it needs to be addressed pretty aggressively.

At a meeting last night we (the commissioners) decided to open a huge can of worms, namely the issue of liquor license holders and the "voluntary" agreements which can be forced upon them by any 5 disgruntled citizens that call themselves a neighborhood group. Our position is that agreements can be put in place but that the commissions should be the only party with standing to negotiate them. What happens now is that small groups hold the licenses hostage until the business owners cave or leave, with the result that we have no live entertainment in the neighborhood, save at my building in the far corner, well away from the commercial corridor. It's going to be ugly because of the group that's negotiated the licenses in the neighborhood, but I think we'll win eventually.

...

03/7/25 8:59 a.m.

Work and a lack of (good) sleep has left me with some ugly headaches in the mornings this week. The AC hasn't been keeping the room as cold as I like, so the sleep hasn't been as good as I've needed and wanted. That in turn has added to the stress at work because I can't concentrate as well. Vicious cycle there.

I did manage to get out in time to hit the new farmers market at Penn Quarter last night and scored some good basil, so tonight will be my first fresh pesto of the season. Am really looking forward to that.

I got felt out for a budget job at another BGA to which one of my field folks is going. I was very flattered, but had to admit I was looking for an attorney position rather than another budget job. I think she was shocked at how fast I said yes when she asked if I'd leave my current BGA. ;-) Am still keeping my fingers crossed on the application that went in earlier this month, and I keep checking online for new listings as well. This change I'm looking for, and I want it, and I'm going to work for.

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Entry the Five Hundred and Fifty Eighth

26 July 2003

Sex Therapy

The screen name popped up in a small window on whore.com, where I was spending an extremely bored Saturday night, having already indulged myself in disco and shaving my legs. It wasn't like I was going anywhere, so I hopped on to see what friends were logged in.

A friendly "Hey, how are you?" implied a familiarity that I wasn't sure was actually there. I've lost my "trick pad" where I used to write down the screen names and other pertinent information from online chats (and iTrick just isn't the same...), so I couldn't remember if I'd ever chatted someone up with this particular nickname (and somehow a name with "pig" in the title just didn't ring a bell). I proceeded with my typical "Evenin'" back - nice and neutral, not implying anything but wary politeness. The usual flattering compliments flowed back and forth (the latex outfit he wore in the picture was quite nice). Then, of course, came the inevitable inquiry as to whether I was up to anything.

I pooh-poohed it at first, giving a non-committal answer. As we chatted further I looked at his location in the neighborhood next door, asked where specifically he was, learned it wasn't far on the bike. He then asked what I'd be up to doing if I came over. I replied, "Well, I supposed we could always go through the ever-awkward 'what are you into' phase of the conversation." He then, in as puzzled a tone as one can get in chat, asked if I knew who he was. I replied in the negative, that I didn't recognize the screen name (honesty, I've found, is best in these situations).

Much to my surprise and delight, 'twas Jack, whom I'd met and dated for a bit back in the summer of 2001. He had moved up the hill from Loganish to Columbia Heights, much closer than he had been. I quickly got the low-down on where he was exactly, threw on a new T, grabbed the cell and out the door.

Once upstairs in his apartment he proved once again what a good kisser he is as we slowly re-explored each other. Hands on bodies, tongues on bodies, lots and lots of heavy kissing until eventually we both climaxed in a strange but fun 69 where both of us where playing with the other's body while we jacked ourselves. Was an odd bit of self-control during a moment where generally the idea is to lose control.

Was fun, and was nice to play with someone I already knew. I suppose as I grow older I begin to better appreciate these moments when you can reconnect with those you know/knew, see what's changed and what's still the same.

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Entry the Five Hundred and Fifty Ninth

28 July 2003

Texting

I'm on the bus on the way home today, after a very caffeinated (I know, I know) and long day when a text message from AH pops across my phone:

Fuck me now!

Feeling flip, I fire back with:

b my luv slave

(yes, that is one of my pet peeves with text messaging - the abbreviations of speech which I generally avoid like the plague on regular computer IMs, but the small screen is much more conducive to less rather than more so I use them on occasion)

So, much later this evening, I'm sitting at home having worked up to the next target point on Diablo II: Lord of Destruction and the next level for my Paladin, when I get a message back:

Gladly.

Now, this is notable for a couple of things: 1) He's using capitals and punctuation, unlike earlier exchanges; and 2) I was not expecting a semi-serious response back.

I read this, and started laughing at the ridiculousness of the whole thing. I mean, how do I respond now? Lesson learned: never try to "out-flippant" a 20 year old.

I'm still amazed that, despite having seen him exactly once, almost a month ago, and spoken on the phone a couple times before he zipped home for a while, he's still pursuing. It's not like I have men his age dying to get in my pants every day. Most of them find out about the whole poly thing and either quietly or loudly freak out. My theory is that they're not sufficiently jaded at that point in life. ;-)

I suppose, too, my reaction has been a general feeling of unattractiveness of late. It's not that anything has much changed, I've just not felt a very strong libido this year (anyone ever do any studies on the effects of ingestion of large amounts of soy products and their phytoestrogens on the male physique? hmm, something to google later...). As a consequence I seem to feel a little surprised when someone pops up and starts eyeing me. Not to say I've stopped flirting, just stopped being very earnest about it. So I get into this laughing, incredulous mood whenever I hear from him. It just seems so cute and silly all at the same time. I have no idea where it'll go, if anywhere, though I do think he has good potential as a friend.

Oh, and my response back?

Good, get on yr knees.

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Ran in RCP