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Entry the Four Hundred and Fortieth11 June 2002 Over 02/6/11 7:36 a.m. So, 'tis done. Doug and I are no longer dating. So easy to put stylus to palm to write, yet the reality has taken a while to kick in. We still talk, we still email. Truthfully, little seems to have changed save that we're not scheduling activities (or non-activities) together. But the change is occasionally rough. There is, by necessity, this hole there, this emptiness that defies any strict definition. It's just that while he's there, he's not really there. Poor Richard has been caught in the middle of this mess, having to deal with my typical withdrawal from contact when faced with something unpleasant. He's handled it well, I think, and I hate to do that to him. But I suppose it's all part of the give and take in poly relationships. I'm trying not to fill my time with random sex as I've done after other breakups. While it's a nice ego boost, it's not what I need. So I'm exercising, and I'm trying out the gay running group, and generally trying to focus on paying better attention to my physical well-being. Hopefully with some outside motivation it'll last a tad longer than my typical lapse into better health. ;-) So, it's over. At least this stage of it. And while I'll mourn the loss, I look forward to the friendship as well. Archives |
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Entry the Four Hundred and Forty First12 June 2002 Run/Mastercook 02/6/12 8:25 a.m. Joined the DC Frontrunners last night for their Tuesday night run. It was interesting being part of a group and not in a race. My running has almost always been solo to now, so I'm not used to the dynamics of a group run. Nonetheless, I would like that external motivation to keep on track. And if I could survive last night's run in the lovely red ozone alert, I can make it through almost anything with those folks. Now I just need to figure out what to do about my strained calf muscle. That was the most annoying limiting factor last night, even moreso than the heat; the heat I can watch by way of the heart rate monitor and slow down until it subsides. The calf just makes me go slow and watch my step and pace until it begins to hurt. Blech. I suspect some forced rest is likely in order. Oh well. :-) The copy of Mastercook Deluxe 6.0 that I ordered off eBay came yesterday. Hooray! It works wonderfully, much better than that wretched Cook'N program. I don't see how Cook'N stays in business, but for the cheaper price and Sierra's exit from the market. So now begins the process of slowly entering stuff back into MC. I've begun going through my recent cooking mags and dog earing pages to enter those recipes. Next will be getting my printer working again so I can print the recipes, shopping lists, etc. And no stupid brand labels for items! That was a big complaint I had about Cook'N: the obnoxious brand placements in recipes and the shopping lists. Who cares what brand of stewed tomatoes I get?!?!?! Was enough to make me hate the program right there, even without the piss-poor recipe management tools. I think there's a program for the Palm to allow MC to sync recipes and the shopping list. Would that I had the capitol, I'd love to revive MC and drive Cook'N out of the market. Can you tell I dislike that program yet? ;-) Archives |
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Entry the Four Hundred and Forty Second16 June 2002 Danced 02/6/16 3:36 p.m. The dancing last night, while not so hot for my poor calf, was exactly what I needed. I got out, I didn't go nuts on alcohol, I enjoyed the dancing, and got home at a decent hour for sleep. Safety was had in numbers, not that I was dressed to pick anyone up, and the dancing was just that - dancing. Exercise for the body and soul. Today, thus far, has been about rearranging and preparing. Finally moved the desk to the kitchen and set my various kitchen junk on it. Took the opportunity to clean several of the bases of things since they are now up on top and on display. Next step, aside from dragging the shelves up from Richard's place, is to report the electrical outlet to the management and get that fixed so I can use the appliances over on the desk and leave the countertop free and clean. Also started typing in recipes when Doug called to join him, post brunch, for museums and talking. Archives |
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Entry the Four Hundred and Forty Third18 June 2002 Days/Plans/Running 02/6/17 5:45 p.m. One of the distinct joys of summer in DC is the lighter commute. Combined with an already fast driver and life is good on the way home. Now if we could just do something about the lack of shock absorbers... Work was... not what I expected today. For some reason I thought it would be lighter than it was. Which was not a bad thing, just not what I expected, the day the bosses left mid-morning for a conference. ... 02/6/18 8:32 a.m. Simple veggie pasta last night for dinner. Richard came up after he got back to town and ate with me. Was good to see him. I'm being obstinate about meeting him and Doug this evening, preferring another run with the Frontrunners instead. My calf has been doing better so I need to attempt the run. And more importantly I am rebelling against keeping an appointment that was meant to be a follow-up to relationship discussions when the relationship in question is no longer there, at least in the particular form and label it was when the appointment was made. Yes, to some extent things will be similar to before the breakup, but the commitment was ended, and with it the existing schedule, once and for all. If it had been a matter of, "I'd still like to see you two," or, "I would like to continue the things we had planned," rather than just assuming we'd keep any appointments, that would have been different. A request, rather than an assumption, would have been received much more favorably. Not that I would have accepted, necessarily, but I'd have been more likely to than when it was just assumed I'd still be there. Things changed two weeks ago, and they're not going to be exactly the same, as annoying as that is. And it is annoying, because I do still love him dearly, but I cannot act as if life merely goes on unchanged. I have to examine my own life, and I will make changes, like the running, and some plans will include him while others will not. And it hurts so much to write that. ... Did join the running group again tonight. Was better this time, the calf is much happier, though still not 100%. Should be there soon, though. I like the encouragement of the group, even though I don't run anywhere near the pace that most of them do. ;-) Slow is fine, I just want to get through the running at this point, not break any records. Records can come later, after I have a better base to build from. *grin* ArchivesRan 42 min in RCP/Potomac side |
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Entry the Four Hundred and Forty Fourth19 June 2002 I Can't Sleep Despite having had sex earlier in the evening, something which usually relaxes and promotes sleep, I found myself unable to sleep this evening. So I did what any other red-blooded American queer would have done, I reached over to the nightstand and grabbed a cock ring, a porn mag and some lube. After getting a light handful from the pump bottle of lube beside the bed, and a good hard on from a few of the pictures/stories in the magazine, I set to work. I had put a circular barbell I have into the Prince Albert - it's a tad larger than my normal jewelry, so I don't wear it that often, but I'd wanted to use it this evening for the earlier encounter. My hand ran over the shaft, feeling the twin balls bear down on the outside of my dick while the curved ring hit all the right spots inside. Back and forth, round and round my right hand slid over the shaft and head, occasionally reaching over to renew the light coating of lube. The other hand, having disposed of the magazine (it had served it's purpose), ran over my body, stopping to tweak at nipples, or tug at balls. Fingers ran lightly over my chest, or roughly over inner thighs, wherever sensation was needed. Finally the combination of mental fantasy and physical reality merged and my hips bucked toward my head, cum spurting out over my chest and collecting in my navel. After waiting for the feelings to subside (the PA makes orgasms much more intense) and my body to stop shaking, I grabbed a waiting cum rag, cleaned up, rolled over and once more attempted sleep. Archives |
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Entry the Four Hundred and Forty Fifth25 June 2002 I Should Write Something I suppose I should write something to replace the former post. I mean, I enjoyed writing the sex piece (hell, I enjoyed living it!), but it doesn't seem to express my True Nature. In fact, I quite shocked one of my friends when I posted much the same thing on my LiveJournal. It seems, despite the fact that I think of myself as a fairly sexual creature, as do most people who know me in person, that I don't come off that way at all on my LJ. I'm still debating whether to do anything about this. It might shock young Peter again, and I'm afraid his young constitution couldn't take it. And I'm a tad fond of the lad, so shocking him senseless would be a bit too cruel. Not that I won't stop living the sex things, I just won't write about them. Not that I've ever written much about them. ... Was supposed to go running this evening, but needed to clean all of my silverware from the Great Kitchen Flood of 2002. You see, the kitchen sink backed up (long story short) and after 3 hours of working at it, it was fixed, but not until the thing had overflowed onto the cabinet and down into my silverware drawer, necessitating the cleaning of every piece of silverware that I own. So, stayed home and cleaned instead of running. It didn't help that I was also very fatigued this evening after having to try and wrap my brain around our idiotic new accounting system today. I hate audits. :-p After dinner last night I had RE drop me off at JRs so I could find Richard. He got back to town yesterday after his latest week out of here. Had to get in some snuggles/hugs, even if it was at JRs. ;-) Was very good to see him and get some good long hugs, even if only briefly before I had to go run out to the bus. This was part of the reason I was fatigued, too (getting in late), but I'd do it again in a heart beat. Archives |
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Entry the Four Hundred and Forty Sixth28 June 2002 Rolling Ecstasy I told him to take off his clothes as I brought out the restraints and gag. While he wanted to play, that was not his choice. I laid him down on the bed, bound his hands over his head, kissed him hard, then placed the gag in his mouth and tightened it. I then proceeded to run my hands over him, alternating gentle touches and rakes of the nails. Special attention was paid to the nipples and the inner thighs. I thought about hauling out the nipple clamps, but rejected that. As much as I like him to remember our sessions together, I didn't feel the need to remind him via the chest. This time. My tongue also made its way across his body at times, alternating with the hands, or accenting areas that had just been roughed up. At times I laid next to him, rubbing my cock against his side or ass. At times I would straddle him, letting our cocks slide together, teasing him as much as possible. Eventually my tongue found its way to his ass. I teased him slowly, barely ringing it, barely touching the surface. He moaned through the gag. I probed further, listening to the approving noises coming from him, moistening the edges and preparing him for the next step. I drew away, letting his legs slowly lower to the bed. I grabbed a condom, gloved it on, pumped out a couple spurts of ID Glide and lubed it up. With the remaining bit I ran my finger slowly over his ass, getting closer and closer to his hole. Slowly the finger penetrated and again he moaned. I pulled away, then crouched up behind him, pushing the tip up against him. I entered, again slowly, wanting him to feel the metal as it entered. Went in only slightly, then withdrew. Moved in a little further, then withdrew. Slipped the entire head in, then withdrew. The next push moved in languidly, going all the way until I ground my thighs up against his ass. I bent over him, reaching my arms around to hold his shoulders while I thrust up into him. My mouth explored his neck and chewed on his shoulder blades as I pumped away. After a bit I withdrew again, much to his confusion. I rolled him over, spreading his legs up and out, ass in the air, shoulders down, arms bound beneath his chest. I entered him once more, holding his hips as I thrust in and out, alternately bending over to nip at his neck and pulling up to be able to push in more thoroughly. Finally I came, shuddering against his back, trying not to bite him as it happened, not quite succeeding. When we looked up, the bed had rolled away from the wall, easily a good two feet. I pushed it back to the wall, rolled him over on his back and nibbled and pinched and pulled until he came as well, spurting up onto his chest and stomach. I removed the gag, kissed him hard, and we lay together for a while, basking in the warmth. Archives |
