Entry the Two Hundred and Seventy Second

01 April 2001

Redesign

Remind me not to redesign the site any time soon. What a pain in the tukas! Had to fix all the links, get the stuff working correctly, hand code junk, global find and replace, etc., etc., etc. Yuck. Not again for a while, I think, though of course I'll be tweaking this one for a while.

Wanted to take out the frames, make it easier for folks to link to individual pages, and make it easier to navigate. It's close to the original, as you'll see when you navigate, but with a tad more movability around the site, I think. Hopefully it works well. And feel free to bookmark the index2.html file if you want, rather than the main file. I'll be putting the diary entries here for now, with the index as a splash page.

Let me know if you find any major broken links - I've tried to fix it all, but you never know what you'll miss.

And now, since I've spent the majority of this afternoon working on this beastie, I shall retire soon and get some rest!

Archives

No Run, No Gym

Entry the Two Hundred and Seventy Third

02 April 2001

Good Laundry Day

This was a Good Laundry Day. Left work early, after the work day from heck, snuck into the first two washers, dumped stuff right into two dryers that actually worked on the first go round, and folded quickly and back up, all in record time. Woo-hoo! My evenings should all go so well.

So, it looks like I redid the site just in time for Google's latest reindexing. ;-) Can't wait to see if anyone hits the entry in March about the porn. LOL. I seldom mention given names of things, so I don't get a lot of hits from corporate names and the like. The ones I do get are hysterical ("girls who wear overalls and smoke cigars" - I shit you not), but are non-standard.

My brother's all hyper about this Chinese plane thing, he keeps pointing out how he's of the perfect military age (23). I've been supportive, of course: told him how to scream "Die, Commie Bastard!" in Mandarin. ;-) He didn't appreciate that, for some reason.

I seriously doubt the Chinese are going to do a damned thing to our people. The plane is fair game, but not the people. They'll push the new administration as far as they dare, and perhaps even a new cold war, but not to the point of war. They'd not profit from that, nor would we, so there's no incentive to push it to that point. It will be an interesting dance, but not a fatal one.

Archives

50 min in the gym

Entry the Two Hundred and Seventy Fourth

03 April 2001

Definitely Not Perky

I should be much happier this evening. I ran this morning, for the first time in two months. I got several items completed and off my desk, including two overdue items. It was a beautiful day, sunny, semi-warm, nice. But I just feel blah.

The run itself was unremarkable. There was no feeling of triumph like January a year ago, when I ran for the first time after coming down with mono the previous fall. It was just a short run, 20 minutes, in weather that wasn't too cold, nor particularly warm (high 30s Fahrenheit). Was a good run, and I'm not too sore this evening, which is a hopeful sign. I'll try to get back into the normal habit once more, ankle willing.

Perhaps I'm fighting off a cold or something, heaven knows my nose has been just this side of sniffly for about 24 hours, but I just don't feel right. It's that low-grade discomfort that just makes me a not-so-nice person to be around. When I get uncomfortable, I tend to snap at people. Not a good sign with Doug coming over shortly. *sigh*

I am a tad better now that I have a good dinner in me. Boca burger with pseudo-cheese, some fig newtons, fizzy water. Yummy. I was a very, very good boy on eating today, not overeating for the first time in ages, and not feeling stuffed to the point of being almost sick like the past two weeks. I wish I didn't have this love-hate relationship with food. Still need to restrict calories like I did today in order to get back to where I'd like to be, body-wise, so hopefully this is a good start. These cycles of boom and bust are just tiring, though.

I hope this isn't how people feel when they're depressed - this constant down, despite things that should be bringing you up. Not for me, if this is the case. I prefer my normal perky self, thank you very much, so let's bring it back, 'k?

Archives

Ran 20 min in RCP

Entry the Two Hundred and Seventy Fifth

05 April 2001

Not Quite

01/4/5 11:52 p.m.

I've had no time to write or post anything the past two days - out right after work and then home late. Doing the same tomorrow, then I'll have time for a longer update on Saturday! Promise!!

Archives

No run, no gym

Entry the Two Hundred and Seventy Sixth

07 April 2001

Today is a good day to bake

Today is a perfect day to go running. It's mildly humid (just enough not to feel overly dry like it does in the winter here), cool, overcast, light breeze. Perfect! And run I did, about half an hour out in the park. Very, very nice. It was great to have a mid-afternoon run in the park again, I've missed that terribly.

So now, post-run, I'm baking again. More bread! It's such good stuff to have around, and very appreciated by people who are recipients of the stuff as well. It's a good day to bake, for almost the same reasons that it's a good day to run - the overcast skies now threaten rain, so staying in and baking is A Good Thing.

And it's also a good day to wander around the house half-undressed with all the windows open. ;-) Good to know my shorts still fit just fine. Would that we could have weekends like this all summer - it'd be perfect. Sunlight during the week for the rides home and to work, and calm weather for the weekends, perfect for going out and exercising. Hmmm....

...

Wednesday I was out and about, all dressed up with nowhere to go thanks to the Big Boss. He decided at the last minute not to take we peons with him to The Hill (which was not a bad thing - it was a very, very short meeting), so I was all done up in my suit for naught. Went and got the obligatory three to four week haircut after work (any longer and I go nuts - it gets too shaggy!!), and then decided to bug someone to go to dinner with me. CE was the recipient of my impulsive urge, and he joined me down at Dupont for a lovely dinner at Thaiphoon. While waiting for him to get ready and come down to the area I hopped into the Leather Rack and picked up the latest Bound and Gagged magazine (hey, I gave up sex for Lent, not my hormones!). Not a bad one, if I may say so.

He got down there, we went to Thaiphoon, and I have to say I was very pleased by the place. Tables are a tad close together, but that can be overlooked when the menu was as good as it was and the service (including getting the food out to you) was that fast and efficient. The appetizer we ordered was huge and could have been a meal in and of itself. Very, very yummy. Definitely understand the wait to get in now.

Was very proud of myself that evening as well, 'cause we had a drink with dinner, then retired to Omega. Had one more at Omega and stopped there. Enough to have a good, long buzz, but nowhere near enough to make myself sick. Thank heavens. I've worried about my alcohol consumption from time to time, so is good to see I can cut back on my own.

Thursday Lawrence and I went out to Skewers, a middle-eastern place, then off to Studio Theater to see The Invention of Love by Tom Stoppard. Great production of it, and a well-written play. Got back to the apartment pretty late for me these days (sometime after eleven and before midnight). Stripped, got ready for bed and zonked.

Friday was semi-busy at work. The week seemed to drag like there was no tomorrow - it was just a very, very long week for some reason. Went out to Doug's place, we had a cheeseless pizza together (yum!), and a beer each. I got a quick buzz off the beer (which didn't seem to effect him at all), then we ran off to Borders (post toothbrushing, of course *grin*). Picked up yet another cookbook while there ("The Student's Vegetarian Cookbook" by Carole Raymond), mainly because it's veggie and because it's written to make meals that are 1-2 servings (as opposed to most cookbooks, and my favorite magazine, Cooking Light, which write to make 4-8 servings on average). Will be nice to make things that won't leave me with leftovers for the next week. ;-)

So today we bake, and tomorrow is all over the arts. A concert at the Kennedy Center and a play at Arena Stage. Busy day!

...

Oh, and updated my links page as well this morning. Added some, removed some. Have fun with it. :-)

Archives

Ran 30 min in RCP

Entry the Two Hundred and Seventy Seventh

08 April 2001

Too Much

I sooooooo overscheduled today. Couldn't sleep last night after Doug called, so I got up (rather irritated at myself), chatted some online while I waited for the melatonin to kick in. As a result I got up late and it just went from there. Did a long run (50 minutes, which my thighs are declaring was a really silly thing to do on my third run in two months), then showered, lunch, off to a Bach Mass with the Washington Choral Arts Society with Doug and RE. Or, rather, half the Mass because I had to meet Lawrence for dinner and a play at Arena Stage. Ugh! Too much to do.

But doing so much has managed to keep me distracted from my financial situation of late. I am stressed about my money situation at the moment as I would really like to be able to pay this bill G has left me for the phone without having to dip into savings, but that's not to be. I'm not willing to let it go late (well, part of it is already late), so I'm going to pull out some cash to pay it off and get it out of the way. I'm also increasingly annoyed at work since I was supposed to be reevaluated at the beginning of March for my raise and that didn't happen then because I was in San Francisco, and hasn't happened since. I had been counting on that going through back in freaking December and it's put a great stress on my finances because of it. I'm not going to starve, but I'm certainly not as comfortable as I'd like to be.

I get more than a tad envious of those of my friends who can just go out and get what they want, or buy property, or whatever without major lifestyle changes. It's hard to feel like I've invested all this time in my education for no returns; in truth, they've been negative returns since I still have the debt but none of the income that was supposed to come with it. This isn't where I pictured my life being, and it pisses me off to think about it.

I also have a lot of credit card debt I'm servicing because I had to "keep up" with The Ex when we lived together. I made a lot of stupid decisions like that, and I'm paying for it now. Good news is that the debts are getting smaller, but slowly.

And unfortunately it's something I have to work out on my own. It's hell to feel like I must find a new job or face financial hell (not ruin, but definitely not fun). Certainly doesn't help my stress levels.

So that's my life these days. Stressed, poor, and generally unhappy with my lot. It's too much some days, I tell ya, too much.

Archives

Ran 50 min in RCP

Entry the Two Hundred and Seventy Eighth

09 April 2001

Full Moon

01/4/9 8:22 a.m.

Slept in, as planned. Well, sort of. Kept hitting the snooze rather than face the sunlight.

It's amazing how stress in one area of your life can ooze into the rest of your life. How do these things happen? Why were we designed such that the entire organism goes into fight or flight over some isolated threat?

Maybe I just need to meditate more.

I do know that I need to go out dancing soon, which will certainly be a stress reliever. I haven't danced since well before the ankle injury and that was two months ago now. Perhaps this weekend, then.

...

The inward movement of my thoughts of late has not been a healthy thing. Instead of acting on problems I've merely dwelt on them, accomplishing nothing but an incrsase in my blood pressure. The question becomes whether this has been enough to jolt me out of it or if inertia will continue to carry me along. I refuse to predict the course, not wishing to condemn myself to another round of self-doubt and misery if I stay the current course for too much longer.

...

01/4/9 5:40 p.m.

Nice and toasty this afternoon, with not quite enough humidity for my comfort; it's almost winter-like in it's lack. Still bright, thankfully, so getting a good dose of sun this afternoon. Makes writing fun, too, as the light reflects off my glasses.

Did more job hunting, sent out another cover & resume & writing sample combo via email. Got a nice response back which, while it looked like it was likely a cut & paste job, was at least not an auto-reply. Or no reply.

'But how can you know what you want 'til you get what yoo want and you see if you like it?' (Into the Woods)

Another reason to keep your hair cut short: breezes through open car windows.

I begin to wonder some days if my friend Bruce from WashU didn't have it right when he said I'd make a good neurotic. Or maybe it's just the full moon again.

Archives

No Run, No Gym

Entry the Two Hundred and Seventy Ninth

10 April 2001

Late again

01/4/10 8:39 a.m.

Running a tad late this morning. And you know, I really don't care. This is not a good sign, I think, of my commitment to my job. Not good at all.

But at least I got in a run this morning. :-)

I am discovering that, as we suspected, this LiveJournal stuff is addicting. A way of constantly commenting on life in a public forum. Perhaps it's a good thing that I can't update from the Palm or I'd get even less done than I do now. As it is I refuse to update from work. I don't need any more distractions.

One of the big reasons I'm running late today is that my building has yet to flip over to AC from heat, so the place was way too warm for me yet. I've slept comfortably in far warmer (Taiwan, Tunghai University dorms in the summer with no AC), but it's been a while. I've grown accustomed to a much colder sleeping temperature. So I woke up periodically during the course of the evening. Unlike the past few days I got to bed at a good time, so I'm better rested than I have been, but still didn't want to get up.

...

01/4/10 5:44 p.m.

Got a rough bus this evening. Tons of fun trying to write while it's moving.

Sent way too much email from work today. Here I am trying to avoid the spector of LiveJournal yet spending too much time online nonetheless. Can't win some days. :-)

And may I say I consider it laughable that Doug says in today's entry that he's intimidated at how smart I am. Feh! This from a man who graduated at the top of his now top-tier law school. Feh.

I don't buy it.

...

Once again the lure of the chat room proved too much, but there were enough folks online to chat with that it was actually interesting for most of the evening. Thank heavens.

Archives

Ran 25 Min in RCP

Entry the Two Hundred and Eightieth

11 April 2001

Fuck!

The good news I was hoping for this morning didn't materialize; I'm out of commission for three more weeks 'cause he found and froze a couple more spots. Grrrrrrrr. I am not amused.

And you know what really pisses me off? This could've been done much, much sooner if either my primary care physician had just treated the damned thing when I first went in with only one spot, or if the dermatologist had gotten me in sooner than the month and a half it took to get in to see him. This didn't have to last this long.

On the way to the office from the bloody appointment I stopped into a bookstore and picked up "What Color is your Parachute," and some other book on hunting for legal jobs. I figure if the career services folks at WashU have been next to useless up to now, they're not going to get any better any time soon, so I might as well look into some other ideas on how to hunt up a job. Gotta start somewhere, and gotta get the fuck out of my current job.

Rainy, icky, nasty day in DC. A perfect match to my mood.

Speaking of moods, I'm going to keep this short 'cause honestly, I need a hug, and I'm not going to get one sitting here at home.

Archives

No Gym, No Run

Entry the Two Hundred and Eighty First

12 April 2001

Depressing thoughts

So, what do you do when you discover you still can't have sex?

Yeah, I know, I'm obsessing. Deal with it. I am. ;-P

The minutiae of my life continue, of course. I cleaned, I filed 1999's Virginia taxes (you know, the ones due this time last year? Don't ask - they sent it back for lack of a copy of my Federal form and they owed me money, so I never did anything with it 'til this week when I ran off the form and mailed it tonight), I made a simple dinner, I read, etc. Boring. Which of course doesn't help the obsessing.

A bit of a cash crunch at the moment, hence not wandering out this evening. I'll get some good sleep instead, and hit the gym in the morning.

So anyway.

What I have discovered in the past few weeks is that there's a wound in my psyche. This site had it right when they declared about molluscum lesions:

Although they are not medically dangerous, the lesions can cause serious emotional and psychological problems.

I just feel like there's this bug scarlet "M" over my head all the time now. (to match the scarlet "F" displayed across my stomach ;-P )

Blech.

The good thing to read at the site listed above, though, was:

Because the virus that causes molluscum is so common, it is not possible to avoid being exposed to it.

I just pray I've not spread it before I spotted it. It can take 1-3 months to incubate, so heaven only knows. And here's this for horror: that I passed it to a regular partner, and he could give it back to me. It's not like you develop an immunity to it, so you can get it back.

Whee.

Archives

No Gym, No Run

Entry the Two Hundred and Eighty Second

13 April 2001

Get moving

01/4/13 7:26 a.m.

Get up, get moving, do something. Don't just think, act. Don't whine, just go. That really needs to be my new mantra. I always feel better when I'm more pro-active about something. You'd think I'd have gotten this down pat by now.

You'd think. ;-P

Off to the gym this morning, despite not leaping out of bed with the alarm clock. Did get up and get moving, though, and that's what counts. Am hoping some regular gym time will help substitute for the running. I need some sort of physical exercise for all the normal reasons, but especially for the benefit to my mental health.

I'm not used to feeling this down for this long, you see. I get the normal fluctuations in mood like anyone else, but not any sort of prolonged depression. And I've actually hesitated at calling it that, too, preferring not to name these feelings as such. I feel like there would be some sort of pressure at that point to seek psychological or, heaven forfend, psychiatric help. And I don't want that.

Archives

Gym for 30 min

Entry the Two Hundred and Eighty Third

14 April 2001

Poem

01/4/14 5:21 p.m.

Still groggy from my nap this afternoon. Despite staying up until past one a.m. I awoke at seven-something and just got up. I find it much easier to deal with sleep if I function that way, getting up at a regular time, regardless of the amount of sleep I've actually had.

This afternoon I arranged a quick trip to dim sum for a group of us. B is in town, so had to get folks together to see him. Was good to see him - I've missed him a lot in the year he's been gone.

I almost cannot believe how nice it is outside. My wardrobe hasn't quite made the transition, certainly, so it's been tough picking out clothes. I seem to be perpetually cold and so perpetually over dressed. I need to do serious laundry on Monday, too.

Got a poem stuck in my brain this morning and managed to get it out and onto my livejournal. Cool. I've had an odd relationship with verse ever since one of my high school English teachers declared (though not in so many words) that the theme to any poem was 'Love conquers all.' Forget any serious discussion of the subject once that's been beaten into you by a mediocre teacher. So it's been with mixed feelings that I have taken a few limited steps into reading and writing the stuff.

I think it was a successful foray into it, and I was especially pleased that Lawrence liked it. He's quite the poet and poetry expert, so hearing praise from him was very satisfying.

Tourists everywhere on the Metro today, but I'm feeling rather paternal toward them today, like one might feel toward a lost child.

Archives

No Gym, No Run

Entry the Two Hundred and Eighty Fourth

15 April 2001

Palm/Literature/Ankle

01/04/15 2:13 p.m.

I'm laying down on my bed, working on a poem on my Palm, and I cannot help but think about this particular method of writing. I get the advantages of a word processor (cut, paste, edit) and the portability of a pad of paper. True, I must either transfer this information or recopy it, and in order to write I have to use the Palm OS' special handwriting, but how cool is this? How very Star Trek to have this small electronic pad in hand on which to write and express myself.

The problem literary scholars will have with this is the lack of any showing of the process of writing. Without early drafts and papers how can we show the way in which the author went about his craft? How can we know that particular words or passages were added or subtracted at various times? All we will have is text, unless the author comments on a particular point of interest.

This will be a considerable loss, actually, as without those guideposts we are left with a lot more guesswork in divining the author's intent and frame of mind when they wrote something.

...

Okay, so spent the rest of the day being essentially a lazy bum. Did clean the microwave, and the rest of the dishes (rice cooker, etc. from lunch/dinner), read some, napped some (laying down to work on the poem turned out to be a mistake - I quickly zonked from there), downloaded stuff on the computer, etc. Whee. :-) A nice, lazy Sunday.

I've determined that I am going to ask for a referral to a sports medicine person for the ankle. I'm getting some more pain in it, even when I'm just walking (haven't run since last weekend), and I'm not willing to just sit down and take pain. Not my MO, if you will. Besides, I want to run again, and to do so as normally and as pain-free as possible. So off to another doctor it will be. Worth the time and expense if it gets me better.

Archives

No Gym, No Run

Entry the Two Hundred and Eighty Fifth

16 April 2001

Body Image

Even as I read more on how corporate culture is dominating our images of ourself, I feel drawn towards self-sacrificial eating habits and constant exercise. I can understand why people want to starve themselves to get that body they can't possibly have (because it's not possible). I joke on a regular basis that, "I'm never eating again," but of course I'm fooling no one. I eat, I will continue to eat, I'm not sticking a finger down my throat.

But that doesn't mean I'm not thinking about what I can do to make myself thinner, within reason.

The fact that I can't run because of my ankle has bothered me endlessly. The pain finally got to the point where I made an appointment to see a podiatrist this Friday about it. It's sore when I walk too much, or too fast (which is my normal mode of walking - I'm a very hyper walker), and that's not kosher.

And it's bugged me because I know, barring the situation I had in Taiwan (living on the 5th floor of the dorm with no elevator, walking 10 minutes uphill before every meal, warm as heck all the time so you had little appetite anyway) or Dexatrim coming back out on the market, I need to run to help control my weight. This body is one that tends to hold fat pretty easily, much to my constant annoyance, so I run to help keep that in check. I like being thin - I've been big and I was miserable. The health problems that came along with it (snoring, stomach problems, etc.) were just not worth it. Hell, I was almost 7" larger in the waist in high school than I am now. That's a whole hell of a lot of extra waist for someone my height (5'6"). Not again, damn it.

So I understand why people starve themselves, and sometimes I consider it myself. But only for a second before I come back to my senses.

Archives

40 min in the Gym

Entry the Two Hundred and Eighty Sixth

17 April 2001

Bills, sleep, skin

01/4/17 8:29 a.m.

Running late this morning because I went ahead and paid bills. Pleasant surprise - one I thought was late was not, I'd paid it early last time around and hadn't put the statement away. *whew* Nice thing to find as it allowed me to make a larger payment on a card. Every bit counts.

Another odd sleep night. Maybe I need to meditate before bed to calm myself or something, but was having work-inspired nightmares. That was freaky, to see the people I work with in my nightmares.

Gotten cold here again, with a possibility of snow tonight. Um, it is April, isn't it? I hope it clears by this weekend - I think I need to get out and get some sun. I'm normally a pale little thing but I feel the need for some light on my skin, especially my face (probably 'cause of the wonderful zit I've just developed). I hate feeling less than perfectly attractive (see yesterday's entry on that), which is really stupid because I know I'm cute (don't give me that look, it's true and you know it), but emotions are tricky things. They don't always react the way you want or expect them to.

I wonder how I look to these people on the bus, head bowed (chin squished), writing away on this little screen, hardly looking up. Not that many on the bus take the time to do more than glance incuriously at the other passengers or stare, bored, out the windows. I also wonder how it appears when I continue to write as I look up and around (as now, looking at the fire engines racing past us). Peculiar.

...

01/4/17 5:28 p.m.

My day was a mix of the odd and the strange. RE called out of the blue to have lunch with me (odd because I wasn't expecting that). Then I spent an hour and a half tracking down a transaction where someone's finger slipped and hit a 5 instead of an 8. Argh!! After that the day just dragged on.

Headed home. Will straighten up to get ready for Doug to arrive, then dinner, then maybe grocery shopping. The minutiae of life are so thrilling.

Archives

No Run, No Gym

Entry the Two Hundred and Eighty Seventh

18 April 2001

Political Theater

01/4/18 5:41 p.m.

On my way to a meeting with my Councilmember here in DC (public meeting). Seems now the Census is done my ward has to lose 4,900 people. Depending on the requirements of the surrounding wards our boundaries will likely shift a bit. I'd not be so worried but for the fact that I live at the north edge of my ward and therefore stand a good chance of being redistricted out.

I'd not move because of it, at least not at the immediate moment. If I get dumped into the ward north of us I'd certainly consider it. The Councilmember there has not impressed me at all now that he's in office. I don't know enough about the Councilmember west of us, but in either case I can't imagine we, as new residents of an established ward, would exactly be high priority.

So I get my first taste of my Councilmember in person this evening. We've corresponded before via email but I've yet to meet him in person. Should be an interesting evening.

Later that evening...

Well, I feel a tad better about staying within the ward now that I've been to the meeting. I guess it pays to live near the park, which is seen as a "natural" boundary of the ward. More concern was being voiced over the possibility of losing Howard University and its neighborhood in the east side of the ward, and over the Woodley Park neighborhood on the west side.

What was remarkable about this meeting was how civil everyone was. There were a few speakers who were quite impassioned in their defense of their neighborhood remaining in the ward, but all in all there was no yelling, no screaming, no threats, which was evidently not the case in some of the other wards' meetings of late.

The Statehood-Green party (a merger of the DC Statehood and Green parties) were well represented and managed to put across their views on proportional representation and better uses of the Area Neighborhood Commissions (smaller units of government within the District that provide, supposedly, for more "local" say in government actions). In addition, there was a woman who was evidently readily identifiable as "Faith," a woman I had previously only known from posters up around town stating that we should "Secede with Faith!" and picturing a woman with a shield and a bugle. Well, she didn't have the shield with her, but she certainly had the bugle! Used it a couple of times when folks made some good points (like the gentleman who is on the citizen commission to advise on the ward boundaries and admitted that this was his first official act as a citizen, having just obtained that earlier this year). She also had some sticks she'd beat together to clap with - they were the kind you used to play with in elementary school music class to keep rhythm, quite noisy and effective that way.

I managed to scoot up the front after it was over, introduce myself and volunteer to help with the ANC redistricting which will happen later this summer, after the ward boundaries are fixed. I've wanted to get more involved with local politics, so here's my chance.

Archives

40 min in the Gym

Entry the Two Hundred and Eighty Eighth

20 April 2001

Footsies

Saw the podiatrist, got a cortisone shot (whee!), got my foot taped up with instructions on how to cover the tape so as not to wash it off while showering (I nodded, said "sure" and promptly ripped the stuff off when I got ready for bed tonight), a follow-up appointment for a week from today.

In essence I was told I was being too impatient and it needed to heal, but that the cortisone and some arch supports would help it along. *sigh*

And as we all know, I have the patience of a hummingbird, so...

Played good boyfriend tonight and went to a work happy hour with Doug (three nights of drinking in a row - oy!). His co-workers were cool (for a bunch of lawyers *grin*), and it was a good scene, even if the scene was overwhelmingly white and straight. ;-) Took him to Chinese for dinner since we were right in Chinatown for the happy hour. Metro'd him and made him wander through Mt. Pleasant Street rather than the direct route. I figure I should get out and into my neighborhood more if I'm going to get more politically active here. Noted a few places I want to check out this weekend if at all possible: an organic grocer, a couple of cafes, a bakery I've heard is good. I need to get out and since I can't run yet, I may as well wander the neighborhood. :-)

Archives

No Run, No Gym

Entry the Two Hundred and Eighty Ninth

21 April 2001

My Neighborhood

As threatened I dragged Doug down to Mount Pleasant proper this morning. Checked out Heller's Bakery for breakfast. They have donuts and muffins and cinnamon rolls and the works. Not that we ate all that - just had a cinnamon roll and a decaf myself. Was very good, and the tables were pretty empty. Seems most folks go down, purchase and zip out again. After a lovely breakfast we wandered down to "The People's Garden," a combo organic grocer, community center, and smoothie bar. The sample of smoothie was very good (I'm tempted to run down there tomorrow to get one for lunch...), and they also had an awesome selection of bulk stuff including, ta-da!, polenta. I've been looking for true polenta for a bit now for bread baking, so was good to find some. A good place and certainly one I'll be going back to.

We looked at the cafes as we walked Doug down to the Metro. There are several that look like they'd be fun to hit for brunch. Will have to check 'em out later and think about invites for friends to come up to the neighborhood.

Dropped Doug off, came home, chatted some online and decided to use the newly-acquired polenta to make some bread. A variation this time, a French bread with oregano, parsley and crushed fresh garlic added. Turned out really well, much to my delight. The whole place smells like garlic (yum!) now, and it's a tad warm from the oven, too.

Chatting this evening with Chay. He's so much fun! Flirty, cute, good chatter. He also brought me down off my melancholy from taking the nipple rings out Thursday evening. I quite enjoy chatting with him. Two long chats in a row now. I think we call this "infatuation." *sigh* Why does he have to live on the Left Coast?

Archives

No Run, No Gym

Entry the Two Hundred and Ninetieth

22 April 2001

Dramas

If I have to be alone for most of the day, I need days like today. Get up when I please, lounge around, go grocery shopping, get a smoothie at the local place, clean out the fridge (well, I don't need that in my day, strictly speaking), put away groceries, nap, dinner, a play. Very good.

*contented sigh*

The stomach, on the other hand, is not so happy at the moment. Despite doping myself up with lactaid throughout the meal, I have managed to give myself the dairy-induced stomach ickies. 'Nuff said, but it might be a late night depending on how calm it gets. I will say that the lasagne was sooooo worth it this time. Lawrence cooks a mean meal, and this was no exception. Was happy to provide bread myself, and we also had a salad and a lemon custard (there were five of us, the two couples and another friend).

After dinner was "A Streetcar Named Desire" at the Arena Stage. An interesting production. One room, theater in the round, lots of noise/music/broken glass/broken crockery/etc. A good production overall, but some disappointing parts. The final scene was a tad overdrawn, but hey.

Came home to discover a huge blow-up over at LiveJournal involving Doug and some recent online friends of his. I'm very carefully zipping my lips and retracting my writing fingers on this one. I'm a tad too close to the situation not to make it worse by saying anything. I will say, however, that I think the parties are acting without complete information (not that I even pretend to have complete information myself) and jumping to some conclusions that aren't necessarily warranted. My only suggestion would be that folks calm down, talk things out more, and see what comes of it. Which appears to be what's happening. I think.

'Nuff said.

Okay, in sitting here I have a stronger feeling this is going to be a long night for me and my stomach, so I think it's time to call this entry quits.

Archives

No Run, No Gym

Entry the Two Hundred and Ninety First

24 April 2001

Rush/CBR/Rush

As usual I'm trying to pack too much into my life. No sleep Sunday night 'cause of ye olde tummy. A tad more sleep last night, but not a full night (had a phone date with Chay which went fabulously). I'm doing okay on energy right now (early evening), but I anticipate a crash later this evening at Doug's. We have to go feed his brother and sister-in-law's cat out in the far, far suburbs, then wander back in closer to Doug's place.

Side Note: Discovered that I much prefer the captive bead ring that was originally put in with my Prince Albert. I tried a curved ring, but after almost losing the balls twice now, I've decided it's too much trouble. The captive bead doesn't fall out on me, and honestly if parts are going to come off at odd moments (I can just imagine losing a ball cap and watching it roll across the bathroom floor one day at work!), I don't think I need to use it for sex. So call me traditional (ha, ha), but I'll stick with the CBR.

So, I'm here at home, snarfing a quick dinner of leftover curried tofu, chatting briefly with Chay, trying to write, and pack and generally get ready for the evening. Eeck!

Archives

No Run, No Gym

Entry the Two Hundred and Ninety Second

25 April 2001

Flirtations/Listening/Frustrations

01/4/24 7:12 p.m.

What a mess emotions can be. They can bring us to incredible highs and equally terrifying lows. They shape us and our behavior in ways we frequently don't even consciously realize.

I find myself in the midst of a crush. This man Chay has totally captured my attention over the past week. The full force of it slipped in quickly but not unexpectedly, sliding on like a comfortable glove. I am infatuated, and I welcome that infatuation.

Unlike my last crush, the feelings here are mutual. *contented sigh*

We seem so similar in interests and temperament. We've read many of the same authors; we both love sci-fi and fantasy. We're both incredible flirts. We're both at a point where we're not quite sure where our careers are going.

We're both going crazy because the other one lives on the opposite coast.

Leave it to me to find another truly compatible person on the other side of the country. *rueful grin*

...

01/4/24 8:40 p.m.

Long session of listening to Doug talk about the recent drama on livejournal. That had to be my roll in this: to listen. I did point out a few areas where things could have been (or were) misinterpreted. But for the most part I just listened.

One last comment on the whole thing: sometimes the only way to win is to retreat. And there is nothing wrong with that if done gracefully.

...

Okay, am finally home here on Wednesday evening. Didn't get here until sometime after 11 (and it's actually just past midnight on Thursday morning here now). Went and got my hair hacked off, had a manicure (which I must say was nice, and the nails look great, but it was somehow less than I was expecting - I guess since I don't get them painted it didn't take quite as much prep as I expected it to - oh well!), then ran off to meet a mother of a close friend of mine from law school who's here in town this week (I just call her "Mom" - it's easier that way). Busy!

Work absolutely and totally pissed me off today. To the point where I hopped online and looked at different federal jobs (the horror!) just to get myself out of there ASAP. First I was going over an assignment I thought I had dodged (yeah, right) and discovered it was going to be a bigger headache than I had supposed. Then the semi-big-boss decided she didn't like the format of my policy memos (the ones I've been sending out to the field now under my own signature for OVER TWO YEARS!) and that I'd have to change them and put them under the Big Boss' signature. Hello? Add yet another two layers of review to this crap when it already takes ten years to get one out of the office as it is? ARGH! Then to top it off I managed to lock myself out of our stupid financial system by goofing my randomly assigned computer password. *snarl* It was not a good work day.

Thank heavens "Mom" was in town. Lots of hugs, gossip, dinner and two glasses of wine later I feel much better.

Also found a job as an attorney advisor with another Big Government Agency that would be doing some of what I'm doing now, but also branching out some, and being in a different environment for a bit. I think I need that.

Archives

Short workout @ the Gym

Entry the Two Hundred and Ninety Third

28 April 2001

Desire

I don't understand desire. I guess we're not supposed to understand it entirely. But what is it about someone that makes you want them? What qualities make them attractive to a person? Why do people find within themselves this urge to meet/greet/grind pelvises with each other? I don't get it.

I especially don't get this cross-generational stuff at times. I mean, I love older men, but I totally do not understand the attraction to a younger man. I guess I do, on some level, but why would you want one? Why want some pretty young thing with no clue and who has little to no experience either sexually or emotionally? I just don't get it! I want a man who has lived life, who has an idea of what he wants out of a relationship. Who has been around the block, understands what an effort has to go into a relationship to make it work and is willing to make that commitment.

I suppose I'm just weird. I don't get the whole cult of youth thing in the queer community. I'm just not attracted to younger men (though they have their good points, don't get me wrong) as much as I am to older men who know what they want out of life and a relationship.

How puzzling.

Email me if you can explain it.

Okay, so we skipped a few days' entries. I was a tad busy this week, between the play Sunday, the phone date Monday (after dinner with Doug), another date with Doug, haircut and dinner with a friend Wednesday, alumni dinner and happy hour Thursday. I crashed last night finally. :) Was supposed to go out for drinks and a fundraiser, but I just couldn't do it, the body was not up to another night out. Which was unfortunate, 'cause I'd told Brian I was going out and he called me from the bar, miffed that I wasn't there. Ugh.

But when the body won't go any further, it won't go any further, and rest is needed. So I took last night to finally catch up on it.

Archives

No Gym, No Run

Entry the Two Hundred and Ninety Fourth

29 April 2001

Blessed

01/4/28 3:42 p.m.

I'm running late, and so is the bus. Trying to get myself out to Arlington to meet Doug and head out to the last social function I have this week, a party at a friend's house in Alexandria. Should be interesting as he and his partner are both boosters for the Log Cabin Republicans. Being the DC partisan that I am (we are a Democratic city) and given Doug's leftward leanings we're likely in for some interesting debates.

As much as I love being social, I'm glad this is it for a while.

...

I miss running. The lack of it has led me to get really slack about my diet and exercise habits, which of course doesn't help the ole stress levels. Podiatrist told me to lay off it for three more weeks and we'll see where I am at that point. Can use the elliptical, and an exercise bike, so I'm not totally excluded from aerobic exercise, thank heavens. Time to cross train. But I still miss running.

...

01/4/29 5:24 p.m.

The party went well, despite the mild hangover today (maybe because of it?). No major disagreements, and overall a good crowd. Was nice to get out. Doug's a saint for putting up with me. I've said it before and I'll likely say it again, but he is!

Helped RNJTM pack the majority of his belongings today as he prepares to move this week to his new condo. Not a very far move, only one Metro stop down, but ya gotta pack up the lot of it. Was good to see him this afternoon.

Chay called as we were wrapping up the packing, just to say hello. *contented sigh* That was so sweet. :-) He seemed to be doing well, despite all the uncertainties with his job. In any case he seemed to be having a pretty nice afternoon, which is always good on a Sunday.

I really like him.

...

Just back from dinner and grocery shopping with Lawrence (although not in that order). Indian food - yum!

Was just ruminating as I sat across from Lawrence and talked with him and spent time with him that I am a very, very lucky young man. I have several wonderful men in my life, I have great friends, I'm (usually) pretty healthy. I just feel very blessed to have Lawrence and Doug and Chay, et al. in my life.

Archives

No Gym, No Run

Entry the Two Hundred and Ninety Fifth

30 April 2001

Back in action

Saw the dermatologist today, got the all-clear.

Hooray!

So, um, I'm back in action now. Thank heavens.

Not that it matters, I had a wretched allergy attack the past two days (that or I'm fighting off a cold), so it's not like I feel like smooching all over someone. Sore throats will do that for ya. :-p

But I am a very, very relieved Moose. Three freaking months with no sex. Eeck! Not, mind you, that sex is the end-all-be-all of my life, but it's certainly a very important part of it. And missing that part of my life, along with missing running, has been a pretty big stressor. So, one stress down, multiple layers of it to go. ;-) I'm back to exercising on the bike and/or elliptical, so hopefully that'll help with my perceptions of my weight. I have a job I'm applying for at another Big Government Agency, so perhaps that stress will end soon as well. Keep your finger crossed, gentle reader.

The one item of good timing was having picked up Janet Jackson's latest album yesterday. Very, very sexy album. Nothing quite like having someone singing out, "I just wanna touch you, tease you, lick you, please you, love you, hold you, make love to you / and I'm gonna kiss you, suck you, taste you, ride you, feel you deep inside me, ooh / I just wanna kiss you, suck you, taste you, ride you, feel you, make you come too." *shiver* Good thing I have earphones at work. ;-)

Archives

20 min on the exercise bike