Of Moose And Men
The Best Laid Plans Of Both Often Go Astray

Well, I now have the dubious distinction of being the only person in my immediate family who has not had cancer. My brother had a spot removed from his back last week and got the news that it’s a melanoma. So he’s off to a surgeon soon to make sure they carved it all out. Luckily my father and his aunt have both had it and both survived (and are still alive now), so there’s a better than normal chance that my brother will also.

So I finally made a much-needed appointment to get a spot checked out on my face, as well as doing a full body check for spots on myself. Debating going back down home to my old (i.e., high school era) dermatologist, though – I really don’t care much for the guy I have here in DC, and none of the other choices I’ve seen/heard of sound much better. The guy from home was odd, but personable and accessible. And my brother tells me he takes my insurance, so it wouldn’t be a particular hardship to head down there (aside from the drive).

In other, better news, I spoke with one of my colleagues at work about post-employment ethics restrictions, and it sounds like I’m actually pretty well off vis-a-vis the post-employment restrictions, should I choose to leave the BGA. Have lunch tomorrow with a co-worker to chat about her experiences working on the Hill and in the private sector. Started updating my resume this afternoon (yuck!). This promises to be an interesting few months.

I’m bored shitless at my job. There, I’ve said it. I’m not sure what to do about it, either. If I want to stay with the Feds I could jump over to OMB, but frankly I think that would simply be more of the same, with more work, the same pay, more stress and a longer commute. Not exactly an appetizing picture, ya know? The one saving grace of doing what I do where I do now is that there are some boutique sections in several firms in town who might be interested in me. Provided I can get the proper ethics clearance to do that.

But would I want to move to the private sector? I’d certainly be much more mobile there, not necessarily tied to a particular firm, or even to DC itself if I wished to move. There’s something to be said for that.

I actually took a mental health day today. Couldn’t rouse myself this morning, and the thought of going into work was absolutely demotivating. I’m nowhere near where I was in terms of dislike as I was at the last BGA, but I just did not want to go in today, so I didn’t.

I think it’s time to start exploring my options, talking with friends who know a bit more about the market & what various options might entail. Can’t go forward if I don’t know which paths are open to me now. I’m worried that my particular specialty will limit those options, but hopefully there are more creative uses for it than I’m coming up with off the top of my head.

Until then, it’s going to be a challenge to push forward at the current BGA unless I can disengage a bit from it all. Which bugs the fuck out of me – I don’t like thinking that I’m not giving it my all. It’s anathema to working for me. But I’m unclear as to how to proceed.

Well, despite my irritation over the non-work the cult co-op maintenance folks did on my unit today, I actually had a pretty good evening. Ordered in Thai with a friend, did laundry, and we watched Stardust, which I’d picked up this past weekend. I’d seen it in the movie theater with BC, but I’m glad I picked up a copy as it’s a very fun and cute little film. Not my usual “bad movie” type of thing, but I do like a little sappiness and silliness on occasion.

Get to see Richard tomorrow for dinner and a good look at the living room and some possibilities I’m considering. I value his opinion, and I think it’ll be useful to have someone like him look at what I’m considering before I go nuts.

Just checked the TSP web site and it’s showing that the loan I took out to get rid of my remaining credit card debt is now paid off in full. Sweet! One less payment each month, even if it was an automatic deduction. More money in the pocket is a good thing, even if it’s just going to go to more student loan reduction. Bit by bit it disappears.

Hopefully I’m going to get out of town for Labor Day. Leave is approved, waiting to hear on accommodations, then I’ll purchase the tickets tomorrow evening if all goes well.

Hmmm, been a bit since I updated.

Saw the podiatrist yesterday about the plantar fasciitis coming back. I had run last week and spent the rest of the day limping around in pretty severe heel pain. It’s gone down since then, but is still there in a low capacity. He cleared me to cycle and swim until my heart’s content, but no running for the next couple of months. I’m also scheduled (again) to go in for ESWT on the 3rd. Hopefully the zapping will help kill this off once and for all – I’m getting tired of sleeping in a brace, and tired of pain when I walk.

Still trying to figure out what I want to do with my exercise routine, though. Did bike this morning, and I’ll head into the gym to swim this evening. I may switch my swims to the morning, since I won’t be running then, if it’s not too crowded (the pool is hardly ever full when I swim in the evenings, and frequently it’s just me in there). There’s the advantage of having the gym 3 blocks away – I can go in the morning and then come home to breakfast & change for work after.

And, I need to do weight training. As I’ve mentioned before, weight training bores me to tears, though I do appreciate the results from its consistent application. It doesn’t help that I don’t really feel like I know what I’m doing, and don’t really want to hire a trainer, either. Eh, I’ll muddle through for now. It’s not like I don’t have enough books on tri training with weight training suggestions to pick and choose from, either.

The date Friday was fun. Too much alcohol was involved, and I actually went shirtless at the DC Eagle (though wearing an armband and gloves), a first for me I believe. He lives in Richmond, so I’m not sure if I’ll see him again any time soon, but it was still fun. I think this is the new Rule #6: “The hotter the guy online, the further away he lives.”

Work is work. I have a colleague who has worked in both the Executive and Legislative branches, as well as the private sector for the Beltway Bandit crowd, and she’s offered to chat with me some about her experiences. Haven’t taken her up on it yet, but I may do so. I’m a little bored in my job at the moment, still, and it can’t hurt to know something more about what other options there may be out there. It’s not that I don’t have plenty of work to do, I do, but I’m not terribly engaged by most of it these days.

Looking at more options for an entertainment center. The Ikea site has actually got some which might work in the space (I’ve been measuring), so I’m thinking a trip down there on Saturday or Friday might be in order to get an idea of how they look in real life, get more measurements, options, etc. And that would be a better price point than the design console I was looking at (though it’s still in the running – the shelving looks a lot better than Ikea’s options).

Had an excellent refresher massage class at PMTI with Jon on Sunday. I’d taken this once before with Doug back in 2000 or so, and it was good to get the refresher. Bonus that I got to put my hands all over Jon, too. I had an extra spot since BC dropped out, understandably, after the breakup, so it made a nice housewarming present for Jon. Appropos of that, I also signed up for the November CBE class (link NSFW). Again, it will be good to get a refresher there.

And that’s about what’s going on here.

Got to see Richard for dinner this evening. Was good to catch up with him and his various travels, past and future. He’s doing well, which is always good to see. Dinner was good Chinese down in Farragut, then we wandered up into Dupont for shopping and extended talking.

Saw another new friend, Y, for lunch as well. He’s a student in town, former military, good guy. Not the first time we’ve lunched, and won’t be the last. He’s good people, and I’m enjoying getting go know him.

Trying to plan a space for the next work happy hour next week. New places are always a good thing, and we have a couple of options, but I’m trying to get a lunch group together for one on Friday I think will work. Not sure if that’ll happen at this point – no one has bitten on the offer as yet. Still have time to grab folks, though.

My training is competing with my social life, and for now the social life is winning. And I’m okay with that.

Been out several nights this week, with tonight no exception. Had dinner with MG last night, and managed to run into Bug randomly on the Metro on the way home. Tonight it’s a wine bar to help a friend celebrate a new job/promotion. Fun stuff, and I’m glad for the chances to get out & about.

As I posted earlier I finished up the latest hat I was working on, thanks to a ton of waiting time at my hair salon. My stylist is on her usual month-plus summer vacation to head home to Indonesia, so I had whoever was there. Apart from clippering my hair too high (I look like a 12 y/o whose mom took him to the barber shop & said, “don’t give him a high & tight,” so the barber didn’t. barely), he was also double booked, so I was quite late meeting MG for dinner.

Work was a lot more productive today than it has been of late. A couple of looming deadlines helped, but so has the getting out & letting loose.

As has been the case the previous times I’ve been on DC jury duty, I didn’t even get called back to a panel to get rejected, just sat in the lounge and eventually was let go. Not that I imagine I’d ever actually be allowed to serve – young, white gay male attorney. Yeah, not so much wanted by parties on juries.

Did get a couple inches done on the next hat I’m knitting. Had a couple people ask about it, that was it. May have found an entertainment center I like, too (dropped into apartment zero after they released us). Then it was home to nap. And that’s been about it today. At least work doesn’t have to lose me another day this week – the blackberry was going nuts all day.

I completely forgot I have jury duty today, until I got home from seeing Hellboy II with Steve. UGH. Thank heavens for the work Blackberry so I could email the folks I had meetings with to let them know why I wouldn’t be there. But, damn, what a pain.

Keep your fingers crossed that my usual luck on sitting them out is still in effect.

I think I finally pinned down what it is I’ve been feeling for the past day or so, and that’s lost. Something I considered an anchor (though whether I clung to that anchor for the right reasons is a whole other story) is gone, and I’m doing the usual soul-searching that comes from such an upheaval.

And it’s not particularly fun.

This on the heels of just having had a “what do you want to do with your life” talk with my supervisor, going over advancement possibilities, and thinking about what else I might want to do with my career. I’m fairly happy with my job, though I will admit these days to being somewhat bored with it, too. Same old issues, same old fights, and in some ways a new crew of managers coming in (not in my office, but in others I deal with) who are not quite as pleasant to work with as the ones I deal with daily now. Do I want to stick with that? But what else would I do? So frustrating.

It doesn’t help me that I’m horrible at cultivating a support network. I don’t reach out to folks as I might, and I don’t really go outside myself when dealing with a problem (save for venting here). “My problems are my problems,” my little brain says to me, “and they’re for me to deal with, alone, until they’re taken care of.” And that’s not always the best solution. In fact, it’s probably rarely the best solution. I work, maybe I go exercise, I come home, I veg, I maybe chat online, but that’s it. And I don’t think that’s enough for me.

I’m also very seriously reconsidering the IM in November. My parents are iffy, because Dad’s going to have some surgery around then and so they don’t know if they’ll be able to travel out. BC won’t be coming, obviously. And frankly, the idea of going out there for a week and coming across that finish line for something that big with no one there to greet me, celebrate with me, or just to see it happen is just not an appealing one. Yes, I wanted to do it because it’s a challenge, but I’m not sure if I like the cost at this point.

Long runs in the evening are teh suck. At least, they are when I haven’t cooked and don’t have food ready and waiting to eat when I’m done. Did six and a half miles, relatively slowly (though the pace picked up as I went along). Heel was not happy with me as I got done, so I’m sitting in the night brace here, making sure I’m stretching the plantar fascia. I had gone to the grocery store yesterday with BC, so had food to prepare, but then there was the preparation part. Finally eaten, but was nigh starving before I ate.

Feel like I need a massage. I hope it’s not BC’s cold coming on, and is just soreness from the run. He stayed over last night and was burning up a good chunk of the night.

Not sure which project I’m going to do next, knitting wise. I think I need to do some samplers to learn a few more skills for the next ones (increasing & decreasing, specifically) before I get started on them.

I’m feeling, hmmm, unengaged at work these days. The Project From Heck is in abeyance, stuck in our front office for noodling, so I’m working on a variety of smaller projects, none of which are terribly interesting or engaging. So I’m just feeling a bit adrift. I’m sure it’ll pass, but it’s damned annoying while it’s there.

I’m a week overdue for my normal haircut, but have an appointment tomorrow evening. So looking forward to that. It’s too shaggy at the moment, so it’s time to get shorn.