Of Moose And Men
The Best Laid Plans Of Both Often Go Astray

Insulating yourself from the world is so much easier. If you have no contact, there are no boys to have to meet, and be interested in, and turn down, or say yes to, or decide among. And that’s comforting, not having to decide. “But how can you know what you want, ‘Til you get what you want, and you see if you like it?” Meh. Boys are so difficult.

That said, I ran into Doug on the way to dinner. Was good to chat in person, even for only two Metro stops. I do miss being as social as I was. But I’m going to get busy soon with my new triathletes as they gear up to their July race, and work is absolutely freakin’ insane now (I was out at the bar tonight and got email indicating that OMB disagreed with the position we’d taken, taking the position I’d originally taken inside the agency on a particular issue before I was overruled – schaden-correct-view-of-the-law-what?? Friday will be interesting.).

And then there’s, of course, a boy who’s flirting from tonight. As well as boys from previous nights. And boys I’d like to get to know, and boys I’d like to avoid encouraging (despite trying to be polite). Boys are, well, odd. And they force decisions. The gentleman whom I had the date with last weekend is out; he snored, and smoked, both pretty annoying on their own, but deadly in combination. There was another man I was sort of interested in from previous contacts online and in person, but he wasn’t there tonight when I was at the bar, so another gent who was more insistent seems to have gotten my attention for the immediate moment. Despite my warning him off, he’s still interested, so we’ll see how this goes. Dating is difficult, but I’m not trying to race to one definite goal, so we’ll see where the various wanderings take me

Following the stress of this past week, I ended up going out on Thursday to meet the regular crew at JR’s, then on Friday, in a convoluted fashion, I ended up at the new Ziegfield’s/Secrets. Two late nights, and even without drinking terribly much, it was more of that sort of stress than I’m used to. It was fun, but I don’t see how some guys do that week after week.

Tonight’s plan is a dinner date, sober, with one of the regular crew from Thursday. Don’t know if it’ll go very far past this as I hadn’t realized he smoked when I agreed to the date, but hey, we’ll see how it goes. Can’t really do much past dinner because I’d like to bike or run tomorrow, and I need more normal sleep pattern back before the upcoming work week and the new stresses that will entail.

On a side note, I wonder if anyone has studied whether people buy less cologne/perfume in jurisdictions where they don’t allow smoking in the bars.

It was interesting to see that Z/S is within walking distance, as long as you feel safe walking through/around the public housing between there and the cult co-op. The experience was a bit crowded; I don’t think they have a very good layout for the bars – too crowded and too few bartenders. Getting ignored by one bartender as he worked the back bar didn’t help my impression of the service. No dancing upstairs, either, despite a large dance floor and lots of dance music playing for the dancers.

Got the boys on their way just now. A quick, but fun visit with them.

When they were on their way here yesterday I asked Kelrick which cuisine he’d like, and got back an enthusiastic “Indian!” in response. Dragged them up to Adams Morgan and one of my favorite restaurants, Jyoti, where we all managed to quickly inhale a good appetizer sampler and the three dishes we ordered. Kel couldn’t stop raving about how much he loved the food – seems it’s difficult a) to find good Indian food in Houston and b) to get suthunuhs to go eat it when you can find it. So that was a lot of fun.

Next we wandered through Dupont and past the 17th St strip to Halo where we were confronted with the frou-frou drink menu from heck, compounded by the bar tender from heck (there was a modicum of attitude there, which his cheekbones, while impressive, did not warrant). Kenny and I ended up getting the blueberry lemonade, which was something of a production (they crush the lemon and blueberries in the glass in front of you), but which was very tasty and sweet. Kel had a blueberry vodka and 7. Thankfully for all involved there was couch space, which we grabbed, and as the alcohol took hold we slowly started commenting to each other on the crowd (I so love being gay just for that little bit of gay cattiness among friends). Brian and Fredo showed up after a bit, with a couple friends, and a little more talking was done, but the three of us were starting to feel a bit worn out by that point, so we got our 2-4-1 special refills and once those were done relinquished the couch to the other boys and caught a cab back to my place.

The plan this morning was for a 5:30 wake up, but a car alarm at quarter to 5 killed that, and when they heard me wander up to the bathroom shortly thereafter they went ahead and started breaking down the spare bed. Got ’em set in the moving van, and they’re off. I’m debating going back to bed, but it’s so warm outside that the apartment is a bit uncomfortable for sleep (and the downstairs neighbor must have been smoking cigarettes – had to light a candle in the bedroom this morning to try and kill the odor; yuck, but at least it wasn’t pot). Cooling the place down first with some cracked windows, then we’ll see about more sleep.

Let me preface my remarks here by saying that I use gay.com (and other chat programs) a lot to keep up with friends online. I’m on regularly 4-6 nights a week, and I happily pay gay.com for full access to their site. But I am incredibly displeased with this new implementation they’ve brought up this week. Unhappy enough to consider dumping the subscription if they don’t get it fixed.

I think I spent a grand total of 40 minutes on “the new gay.com” this evening in two different installments, after it seemed like I spent about the same amount of time trying to convince the web site that no, really, I didn’t have a pop-up blocker stopping their wretched pop-ups from popping up. Verdict: It sucks elephant butt.

Let’s catalog the deficiencies:

• It runs too slow (to be expected with a new system).
• There’s no way to ignore bots in the chat room now.
• There’s no way to turn off the entrance and exit alerts, so you frequently end up with a screen full of “so-and-so entered,” “so and so left” crap that you don’t need.
• You can’t zip through the list to find folks easily by hitting the first letter of their screen name – you’re forced to scroll through the entire thing.
• It takes forever to bring up a screen name when you want to click on their profile or view their photos.
• No clicking through to links in chat, you’re forced to cut & paste.
• Because it’s run through the browser, if someone sends you a link in another program (AIM/Yahoo/MSN/etc.), chat ends up getting shut down if you click on the link in the other program because the new page opens in your chat browser window (or whatever window you have open).
• There’s too much wasted space in the windows – they take up too much screen real estate.
• Even after full disabling the pop-up blocker and getting their pop-ups to work, Every Single Window that popped up continued to display the “you need to turn your pop-up blocker off” message, blocking the screen that I was trying to see until I could hunt down the tiny little “X” that would turn the message off.

In other words, the thing sucks elephant butt.

I’ve left feedback with them, and will continue to do so. The stand-alone chat program worked so, so much better than any browser based crap they could throw up there. I can understand that perhaps they wanted more ad revenue by bringing users back onto their site, but there are ways to do that (force users to go to the profile page on their site to see pictures – more ad revenue/hits right there, without breaking up the other features that made the program work so much better) and still make the experience user-friendly. I realize the company is (probably still) losing money like mad, but driving away core, long-time users by making the site unusable is not the way to fix that.

Running a little slow this morning. Last night was one of those “my brain will not shut off” kind of nights, with melatonin and exhaustion finally kicking in around 3-something. It wasn’t all a bad thing – the brain was going over some conversations I’ve had over the course of the weekend, and thinking a lot on what it is I want to be doing with myself, and with other people.

I did miss going out to take photos of the training tri this morning with the club, but I’m headed out to brunch at a friend’s house in a little bit, then a potluck birthday thing this evening over in Virginia with one of my body electric buddies.

I did decide that I’m not going to do the IM this fall. It’s not to say that I won’t ever do one, but it’s not the right time, and I think I signed up for it for the wrong reasons. I still have two races I’m currently signed up for, and I can find one or two more for the fall here locally. And perhaps this year I won’t end the season completely burnt out and unmotivated to do off-season fitness maintenance.

I also think I’m going to attend the local Celebrate the Body Erotic course in November. I need the refresher, and I’d like to go back to an earlier plan of mine, to attend one of the week-long intensives next summer. I also need the renewal of my ties to this particular community. I’ve been disengaged from the energies I need for long enough now, it’s time to get them back.

Tried to go shopping today, post-pride. Wanting to not waste petrol, and since I was already warm from walking around at the pride festival, I biked over to Barracks Row to hit the local bike shop and the local yarn shop. Someone, however, had other ideas for me.

• Strike One: Local Bike Shop no longer carries nutrition products, the sole thing I needed.
• Strike Two: Local Yarn Shop doesn’t have any of the notions I wanted to pick up.
• Strike Three: Picked up my mail from yesterday on the way back into the building, and the every-two-years-like-clockwork jury duty summons was in there.

I get the picture, I’m staying in the rest of the day.

Earlier I did go down to the Pride festival for DC. Was nice, nothing particularly smashing, but I enjoyed it. Saw several folks I don’t see much of these days, picked up a bracelet (bike chain pattern), got some sun (no burn though – yay SPF 30). I didn’t go out to the parade last night – I didn’t want to go drinking after or during after yesterday morning’s race, and honestly I prefer the festival for people watching and talking. Instead I finished up Half-Life 2: Episode One on the Xbox (didn’t take long, actually), finished a knitting sampler I was working on (increases and decreases, various methods), and started the next project – BC’s hat, to match the scarf. The hat, after the initial cast on and row, is coming along quite nicely, especially in comparison to the scarf. We’ll see how it goes when I have to start decreasing and slip it over to the double pointed needles.

Question for my knitting friends: Do they not make aluminium or metal needles these days? Mom has a ton (which I will filch from her in due time), and I like the feel of them, but almost everything I see other than Addi Turbos are wood of some sort (or bamboo). What gives?

Wanted to jot down some quick “day after” thoughts on the in re Marriage Cases decision that was handed down yesterday in California.

Procedurally, the case is now remanded back to the Court of Appeals for action consistent with the Court’s opinion. Clearly, part of that action is the invalidation of the parts of the marriage law, both for in-state and for recognition of out-of-state marriages, which limit “marriage” to opposite-sex couples. Same-sex couples will be able to marry once the Court of Appeals takes action. What is less clear is the status of those who have entered into domestic partnerships under California law. The Court did not explicitly address the domestic partnership statutes in the final part of their decision. It’s now unclear how the Court of Appeals and/or the legislature will address the issue.

From my limited view of California law (culled pretty much entirely from the decision), part of the elligibility for a domestic partnership was inelligibility for marriage. If the courts were to read the new availability of marriage as invalidating current domestic partnerships without making the partners go through the usual 6 month process for dissolution of the partnership, that might not be a bad thing. What I don’t see them doing is automatically converting partnerships to marriages, at least not by the court alone. The legislature could make such a thing a possibility, and I would hope they would do so for partnerships where one of the partners has died (since other rights and responsibilities for partnerships were added retroactively even for partnerships where one member was deceased, according to the decision), but I would not impose the full structure of marriage on those who entered into a partnership without their express consent.

The other thorny issue is those partnerships where the main reason was for support of the elderly, and not for “marriage light.” Not even going to touch that one, but it would be good if they kept that part of the partnership law in place.

In any case, those folks who are in valid domestic partnerships under California law now find themselves in a legal limbo, not knowing where they’re going to come out. Will the courts declare them de facto married? Will their partnerships get dissolved without being married? Will they have to go through the six month process to dissolve the partnership in order to get married? The Court didn’t address this, which was a weakness of the decision, in my opinion.

The other interesting note in the decision was the Court’s explanation of how the Governor was correct to veto the two attempts by the legislature to pass full gay marriage statutes. In essence, because Prop 22 was passed by initiative and because it did not allow for the legislature to change the law without putting the change to a vote, as is required by the California constitution. The statutes would not have been upheld by the courts, and as such the Governor was simply exercising his constitutional duty to veto legislation which he (properly) did not feel was constitutional. See footnotes 16-17 and the surrounding text. Knowing that puts his veto in a much better light, especially viewed together with his opposition to the current attempt to amend the state constitution to limit marriage to opposite-sex couples.

I won’t get into the classification of “sexual orientation” as a suspect class under California law except to say, “Wow, that was unexpected, yet quite, quite cool.” Smarter folks than I would better address all of the ramifications of that.

The slip opinion (.pdf file there) of the California Supreme Court in in re Marriage Cases is a doozy – 172 pages.

But let me tell you, reading the summary in the first 11-12 pages is a joy.

I feel irrationally nervy about today’s announcement from the California Supreme Court in their consolidated same-sex marriage cases.

• Went dancing last night. First time in years (literally). Had a friend ask BC if he had known I could dance. His response: “Oh course; I’ve slept with him.”
• Saw Rambo this past week. The highlight: a trailer for Midnight Meat Train. The trailer was all serious, looked good, Wes Craven, etc., then they announced the title in this deep, serious voice. I about spit out the water I was drinking. So going to see it when it’s out.
• Brunch sometime around 3 this afternoon, after recovering from last night. Dragged Brian out for it, and was good to see him.
• Busy, busy at work. Not sure that there’s an end in sight for any of it, but I’ll just keep slogging through it.
• Did a sample swatch of stockinette stitch (finally taught myself to purl yesterday), and learned how to bind off the swatches. I need to go get a needle so I can weave in the ends. That and drag BC to Stitch to pick out some thread for a scarf. Which will be a good excuse to pick up more needles, too, since the pattern calls for a circular needle (I know, it’s not strictly necessary, but hey, why not?).
• And with that, it’s crash time