Of Moose And Men
The Best Laid Plans Of Both Often Go Astray

I alternate between really bored and really excited about projects at work. There are two long-term things on the desk that I absolutely dread working on because they’re just terribly dull, complicated, and seemingly never-ending. Then there are some more fun projects that I keep trying to get to, that are equally important as the other two dull ones, but which never seem to be able to come to the top of the stack, despite ongoing talks with various folks about the status thereof. I need to just knuckle down and kill off the dreaded tasks, but they always manage to sap my will to live.

And they wonder why I don’t want to be a manager.

Did finally manage to motivate myself to hit the grocery store and pick up a few foodstuffs on the way home. Had meant to yesterday, but came directly home, had something simple from the cupboard, and crashed semi-early after doing a couple of things around the house. Slept really, really well, and really, really late (for me), but needed the catch-up from the weekend and the return to work.

Haven’t touched the uberlist yet for this upcoming year. I’ve thought about it some, but not put thought to file just yet. Soon. Oh, and I’m debating a change in my normal new year’s day routine. Normally I go on a run, commemorating my return to running from 2000 after having mono. Just me, no electronic devices, no watch, nada. Just a run. But this year my club is having a ride that morning at 10, and I think I want to go do that. I joined the club so I’d have folks to train with, and part of moving down to Southwest was to get over to Hains Point and practice with them, but I’ve not really taken advantage of the proximity like I had intended to, so I’m thinking it’s time to get out and practice with them. Still could run, but I suspect a slightly more social beginning to the year should be in order.

Okay, to the earlier list I need to add:

4. Sleep.

As in, getting enough of it. Which, of course, affects #1, Consistency. Up a tad too late this morning to go running, so doing some needed stretching instead (silly IT band). But sleep definitely needs to be on the list for focus this next year.

Was going over my goals for this next year, athletics wise, and part of the exercise was to identify what I thought my three biggest weaknesses were. After some time thinking, I identified:

1. Consistency
2. Strength
3. Diet

Consistency is probably the killer for me. Most of the time I can motivate to do what I need to do, but if/when I fall off the wagon, it’s ugly. And it kills my training. So that’s a key thing to attack this year. Strength training I’m working on. Diet, on the other hand, is not so hot.

It’s not like I don’t get enough to eat, nor a good enough variety, nor do I lack of protein (if my nail and hair growth is any gauge, I get quite enough). I do need to eat a tad less fat, and fewer calories, more often. I suspect overeating may be an issue with the stomach problems I have as well – too many calories at once for my system to handle. In any case, there needs to be fewer calories vis-a-vis energy output. I’ve managed to stay at my current weight/fat level for the past two years, and I don’t want to be here. Certainly racing and training would be easier with a tad less fat on ye olde frame, so I’m going to have to knuckle under and actually get serious about it if I want to see any progress.

It’s hard not to feel bitter this morning since I’m not out there racing the Marine Corps Marathon. The knee did not improve sufficiently over the week to feel comfortable doing a race of this length, and discretion is the better part of valor, or however that goes, and so I’m skipping the thing this year. There will be other races, and my ego was not so invested that this is a crippling event psychologically, but it’s still disappointing after all the training.

Not helping the mood is that I just paid out the ass so I can not listen to/watch a bunch of useless Continuing Legal Education courses so I can keep my law license. One does like to stay employed, but one wishes it weren’t so expensive, nor such a waste of time (there are no CLEs in my practice area).
Did sit down this week and look at next season’s races. I’ve picked several that I think I can do. Unsure as to whether I’ll sign up for another marathon (did put a half marathon in the mix, early in the season), but picked out a couple of triathlons, and I’m seriously considering doing a half ironman toward the end of the season (1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, 13.1 mile run).  Added into the mix this year has to be more serious weight and core training. The IT band troubles I’ve had this past week are the proof of that, and I’d really rather avoid this sort of thing again if at all possible. The weights and core work will help stabilize stuff, and I’ve known that (intellectually), but not really felt the need for it (emotionally). Well, now I can’t afford to neglect it, so back to the weight room I go.

Thankfully, for the runners, it’s a gorgeous morning here in DC, and it looks to stay that way through the entire race. You couldn’t ask for better conditions. Which will make going out to watch pretty nice, too.

Got up this morning totally Mr. Cranky Pants. Did not want to get up, did not want to go run, did not want to see anyone, did not want to do anything. Sat around, pouted, read the paper (they’ve been delivering it regularly since Tuesday), pouted some more, and was generally in a horrible mood. Was feeling like I’m tired of training for the marathon, I’m tired of feeling like I waste an entire weekend day doing the long runs, and a lot of, “Why am I doing this if it’s not fun?” Of course, I do it because it is fun, I do enjoy it, it’s just that I was feeling a total lack of motivation this morning. Was also missing MG, who’s been away for work this week. And, as I said, just feeling a big dose of the blahs. Must’ve had something physical going on as well, stress-wise, this week, because my eczema’s flared up as well.

Thankfully around mid-afternoon I snapped out of it as I did massive amounts of floor cleaning (yay swiffer wet), did laundry, even ironed (which is a measure of how blah I’d been feeling – I never iron). Feel much better now. MG’s headed back to town tonight, and will wander over. In the mean time I’ve lit a bunch of candles, popped in a movie, turned the lights off and am relaxing. It’s not quite meditation, but it’s much more restful than I’ve been of late. Hopefully the long run tomorrow will be better for excising Mr. Cranky Pants from my system.

In other news™, I had an unexpected surprise yesterday when I pulled up my leave and earnings statement. Evidently the beginning of the month was an anniversary at work because I went up a step for the paycheck that hits next week. Extra money is always nice, especially unexpected extra money. Oh, and my parents now know about the new neice/nephew, speaking of expectations, and also that my brother will be teaching sixth grade starting in the next week or so. Good news all around (which made the attack of the cranky pants all the more bizarre).

Okay, so today was most certainly the start of the last week of the fiscal year. Nothing quite like watching budget people wig out over other staffs’ mismanagement of their programs.

So I came home and did what I normally do when I’m stressed out. I downed a fifth of good bourbon. Since I’m not currently drinking until after the marathon, I cleaned.

Somehow putting things in order seems to calm me down, as I’m sure I’ve written about before (but I’m too lazy to look up any entries). The dining room table is clean, the desk is clean, my triathlon/exercise books are in order, and I’m about to tackle the cookbooks (those have been driving me to distraction of late as I try to find particular books and they’re in no order). The floor is clear enough (and was even before I started, honestly – this has been an effort to attack surfaces above the floor) that the roomba ran nicely around the whole place while I worked on particular areas, rescuing it as it ran into the bathroom or got stuck on the living room carpet. A nice, soothing scent’s been going in the burner, and I just closed up the house for the night, to shut out the noise.

It’s certainly a healthier reaction than the other usual one, and I do feel better for having cleaned stuff up, but it always strikes me as odd when I ‘come out of’ a cleaning fit and find specific spaces put into order and looking much, much better than they had at the begining of the evening. Neuroses are such fun.

Saw my dermatologist Monday for my semi-annual check up with him. He didn’t like a couple spots, so he froze them off. I look like I can’t use a razor without slicing off large chunks of skin. Thankfully facial skin heals pretty quickly (at least mine does), so it’s getting better, but it hasn’t helped my mood. That’s been the major source of discontent this week.

Also had my every-six-month HIV test this week. Because why have just one major stressor in your week when you can have two? It came out fine.

Reduced considerably the amount of food I’ve been snarfing as the week has gone by. I was stress eating earlier in the week (mainly over the lovely blisters/scabs from the freezing), which was setting off all kinds of moody stuff. Whee! Thankfully after one particularly nasty little meal I realized what was happening and put the smack down on that.

Nice speedwork run this morning, back again to the recording and what not from yesterday’s free range run. Brief walk to deal with a stitch in my side (too much cranberry juice this morning?), but once that was done, I was fine. The last four runs over that distance (4.3 miles, give or take a bit) have each gotten faster – from 46:50 to today’s 40:06. Am definitely going to break 1/2 an hour on next month’s 5k. My goal will be to break my PR for a 5K, 27:33, set back in May of 2000 when I ran my first ever 5k (back when I weighed 20 lbs less than I do now, thanks to the mono the previous fall, I might add). Should be fun. In the meantime, I’ll keep doing speedwork. And long runs at not-so-speedy paces. And having fun while doing both.

This morning’s run was great… for the first 4 miles. Had a nice breeze, heart rate was behaving itself, mostly shaded. Then I hit the Awakening, turned that corner and Death Awaited. Breeze was non-existent, shade was precarious at best, the heart rate shot up and forced walking breaks. Yuck. Needless to say the last three miles sucked gorilla butt.

But, I still got out and ran.

Been thinking a lot about dating lately, and I’m still of the opinion that, while I’ve gone on dates, I’m still not ready for anything yet. It’s like when I think about eating meat – I can visualize getting right up to the point of taking a bite, then I just freak out and can’t do it. Everything just keeps telling me I’m not ready yet, despite trying. I can still be witty and charming engaging and all that, but that essential spark is just not there for me.

Which is not necesarily a bad thing (though it is occasionally an annoying thing).

Took a quiet night tonight, not really spending any time online, played some on the DS (there were so many weeds all over my town in Animal Crossing it wasn’t even close to funny – that’s what I get for taking 2 months off from the game). Talked with K for the first time in a while, he’s doing well, which was good to hear. Nice and quiet, which was needed.

Tomorrow’s run should be interesting. It’s a short one (thankfully), but I received my tempo trainer finally today after being on backorder for two months now. So we’ll see how the pacing goes with picking up the feet to a set rythmn. Should be interesting.

This was a very long weekend. A goodly part of it was spent on the way to, the way from, and in Quakerstown, Pennsylvania to watch my newbie triathletes compete in their first race. The Steelman was a well run, well organized race that had both an olympic and a sprint distance race run at the same time (sprint started 1/2 an hour after the olympic folks). It was a lot of fun cheering them on, seeing them finish their first race, and just generally getting caught up in the race spirit without being in the race myself. I think that’s the first time I’ve been a spectator at a race since 1999 when I went to visit Ironman Canada with RNJTM. Was a lot of fun.

Once I got home, and got showered, I moved things around int he apartment again. The bed placement, even with the air diverters I hunted down, was just not working. The air unit has been blowing over my face when I sleep, which has caused at least one cold, and possibly a second. So I moved the bed around to the opposite wall. It works, though not like I’d prefer to have the room. At least the air thing is now solved so hopefully no more a/c induced colds this year.

Spent an hour tonight doing some yoga practice, something I’ve not done in a while. Did variations of standing poses, getting grounded, feeling how the legs supported the frame, how to adjust the movement of the body to keep centered and balanced. Felt good. Certainly it felt better than sitting online and running my fingers with friends. While I like chatting with folks, I have been spending a little too much time there and not enough working on things like the yoga practice. So it felt good to move the body again. I think perhaps hanging around with hundreds of people, many of whom are incredibly fit, was a motivator. Hmph.

Also starting to play with podcasts. I know, I know, I’m way behind the curve on them, but I typically do not use my iPod except as background noise at work, so listening to radio-type broadcasts where I’d have to pay attention to something isn’t my norm. Nonetheless I hunted down some mandarin-language podcasts through iTunes and will try to listen some more. My mandarin is very rusty, so listening to some currrent talk I think should help arrest and perhaps reverse some of the loss of skill there.

After rearranging the living room, and prior to starting dinner, I had another of those, “OMG, I own all of this” moments looking around at the apartment. It’s funny, both of the major rooms have now been reversed from how they were originally set up when I moved in, and both are probably more functional for the movement. It takes time to get things set up and arranged properly, but it seems like it’s taken longer than usual with my new home. And I haven’t even gone through and done a proper feng shui treatment of it yet, either.

I’m in the process of putting an offer in on a co-op apartment down in southwest DC, near the Waterfront Metro station. Nothing quite like contemplating more than doubling my debt load (after student loans) in one fell swoop. Thank heavens for the tax benefits that come along with mortgage interest payments in this country.

I’ve otherwise been busy, helping with the club’s new triathlete program, working out myself, and just generally living. My calf is still out of commission; tried running last Thursday, a week and some after the initial injury, but ten minutes in at a moderate pace I could tell it was not ready yet. I’ll take this entire week off and try to be patient. Thankfully swimming and biking have not been affected by the calf’s little injury, so I’ve been able to stay up with those in the meantime.

For reasons I’ll not go into here I broke things off with CT last week. For the first time since the Clinton administration I’m single. And you know, I’m okay with that; I’m looking forward to having some “down time” from dating, to be honest. I want to get the new apartment arranged, do my race, get the new triathletes through their first race(s), and simply take things day by day otherwise. Heaven knows I need to take some of the down time and retool my eating habits; I’ve been eating for stress, not for hunger and fueling my body, and the scale’s been showing it this year. Not that buying the apartment and breaking up are doing wonders for my stress levels, but this has been just plain silly. There’s no reason my eating should have been that out of whack. Ah well, live, learn, and move on.

Got a starter Prince’s Wand (link not safe for work) last week. The starter version was nice, after a ton of cleaning (it was obvious they hadn’t cleaned it before they shipped it), but if I were to continue with one I think I’d have to go and get a custom one done by Steel Werks Extreme (again, link not safe for work). The starter one fits okay, but a more customized version would be needed for more than just hanging out in it, if you will.

(how sad, I just realized I didn’t have a “sex” category for that last bit of text; shows how little I’ve been doing anything in that department lately)

Anyway, brought some work home tonight so I need to go read that and get prepped for a semi-big meeting with my chief deputy poo-bah tomorrow.