Of Moose And Men
The Best Laid Plans Of Both Often Go Astray

Burnt out. I think that’s about the only way to describe this past month. After I did the half ironman last month I just quit. I haven’t exercised seriously in that time, running only a handful of times, and biking the same. I think I’ve gone swimming once. The half just sapped that much out of me.

And it’s my own fault, I wasn’t nearly as well trained as I should have been, and my nutrition was sorely lacking. All of this meant that the race took too much out of me. I probably should have bonked, looking back on it, but forced the finish by willpower. Not an experience I want to go through again, and I’ve gone over what I was and was not doing nutrition-wise (a workshop the club held last month was a help with that), so that shouldn’t be an issue again.

Anyway, the lack of exercise motivation has been one symptom, but there’s been a more general lack of focus and motivation as well. Which is not exactly the best thing for trying to do, say, work. Or anything else important.

I’ve managed to shift my schedule back to a night owl one, which was my default before I ever started exercising. When I am exercising regularly I’m a bit more of a morning person, at least I’m able to get up and run or bike regularly in the morning when I’m doing so normally. Haven’t felt like switching my schedule yet, so just been coasting along with things.

Went to a class on core training with the club this evening. It was good to get out and get some more instruction, and I’m feeling like it might be the right time to get back to doing more. Thought I was going to get back into stuff at the end of September, but I was still too wiped out. Hopefully I’ll get back into it – I know once I get started it’ll be easy to get back into the groove, but I need to get started.

My brother has all the social skills of your average slug.

He’s doing okay, and is out of the in-patient thing, but I think he’s determined to be as much of a little shit as he possibly can to the rest of the family, especially his wife. His life to mess up, but it’s tempting to strangle him from this distance.

Went through some rough stuff there with it, mentally. Took a couple days off work, went in late once or twice. Work was very understanding, despite this being the end of the fiscal year. Am doing much better now, and thank you for the good wishes.

Trying to get back into a groove with exercise. After the half last month, well, I just sort of stopped. At least nothing normal or in any sort of pattern or habit. Been trying to decide what it is I want of the off-season, and what I want for next year. Mostly I think what I need is some fat loss (so much easier to run without extra dead weight) and some overall strength training for the joints, as well as some concentrated core training.

Which would be better if I was more into strength training and crunches/pilates, but you do what you have to do, especially when you need to train to your weaknesses. I’m also going to do a reduced season next year. I know there’s at least 2 runs I want to do in the spring, but I can’t think of any triathlons that are just screaming for me to do them at this point. I may do two shorter seasons next year, a spring and fall season, with a break in between to get my groove back. This year was just too long to keep up.

Did get in a run this evening. Heart rate was, well, disgusting, and my foot pod seems to hate me in the opposite direction now (before it was registering too far, now not far enough – it claimed my 4 mile run was 3 miles tonight; normally it claims it’s 4.5). But it felt good to get out there again.

Happy hour started at 3 today.

Let’s recap this week:

• Didn’t sleep well from allergy issues.
• BC’s car window got smashed outside my co-op.
• iPhone locked up while running late to work so couldn’t call in to let them know.
• 2nd to last week of the federal fiscal year (my crunch time at work).
• Richard lost one of his best friends to cancer.
• My brother attempted, not for the first time, to kill himself Thursday morning, and is now institutionalized.
• A friend succumbed to leukemia yesterday, despite signs he was getting better.

This after my family lost another friend to breast cancer a couple weeks ago (again, after she was seeming to do better), and one of Mom’s close friends had to deal with a breast cancer diagnosis and treatment earlier this year. Mom herself is a breast cancer survivor, and might be facing some more surgery because of scar tissue related to her previous surgeries (no mastectomy, but some scarring from the lumpectomies).

I’m done, I’m just done this week.

Unlike my experience after running races, I’ve not had any sort of specific soreness. No torn quads, no knee pain, no problems walking, just a general, overall soreness. Everything is sore. Not in a debilitating way, at least not totally debilitating, just a general feeling of soreness and the knowledge that I should be taking it easy.

Took the rental minivan back to the car rental place this morning. As promised, because of the delay in getting the car on Saturday, they took a day off the rental. I should know this location’s a bit flakey, but I’ll take the freebie (this is the 2nd time this has happened – and I’m okay with an hour of my time spent getting 1/2 the cost knocked off). Afterward I was debating coffee at the little place around the corner when I remember that Sticky Fingers is now open on Mondays in their new location, which is right on the Green line.

Dragged a friend over to meet me, and had what was one of the best sticky buns I have ever had. It was precisely what I needed. Hit the grocery store on the way home, bought more fresh fruit so snack on today, and came home to zone out. And pop lots of ibuprofen.

Tried a nap at some point, but no go. Killed lots of monsters on Sacred, leveled up a couple of times. Thought, briefly, about doing a bike ride tomorrow as I was putting away clean jerseys, but very quickly thought better of it. No exercise tomorrow, likely not any on Wednesday, either. Recovery is more important than feeling like I need to get moving again. Although I think I’m going to go get new running shoes tomorrow. If I feel like wandering out, that is.

The current pair is, well, disgusting, a result of all the water dripping into them from the run, and the dirt of the road coating them. Not to mention they were getting old, and this was the end of them.

Past that the plan is to rest more, do some reading for work, and kill more monsters.

Oh, was down at least three pounds between Saturday morning and this morning. RNJTM pointed out that 7 hours was probably 7k calories, minus whatever calories I put in (nowhere near 7k), although most of it was likely water loss. We’ll see tomorrow morning after today’s eating.

Still processing the emotional impact of the race. 70.3 miles is a long way to travel, both mentally as well as physically. Unlike after the century ride I did in July, there was no sobbing this time, though there have been a few “whoa” moments. I’m sure it’ll process in the time it needs to process, though it would be nice if it didn’t wait until I was back at work to do anything too emotional.

If there’s one thing the iPhone has done for me, it’s brought my dislike for having anything on my hands to the fore. The screen is just such a good collector of schmutz.

I’ve always hated having stuff on my hands, specifically the palms and fingers. Lotion, sweat, grease, you name it, hate it all. As a result, I wash my hands fairly often, which isn’t very good for my eczema. I try to put lotion on, but that’s right up there in terms of ick factor.

And of course, by necessity, you have to get the lotion on yor palms in order to get it on the rest of your hands. Yuck. So it’s lotion, wipe, lotion, wipe, and washing as much as I can.

But no matter how clean I keep my fingers, they always collect more stuff. And it always drives me crazy.

Okay, got laundry done, went grocery shopping, assembling the race gear now, as well as cleaning the house now (and by “cleaning the house” I mean that I set the Roomba loose in the bedroom while I was out shopping and it’s now getting the kitchen and front hall done). Car reservation made. Hotel reservation confirmed.

Once assembly’s done, there’s not a lot more to do except try to relax. Which will likely drive me crazy. Thankfully I have Sacred to keep me somewhat distracted.

Tomorrow’s plan is to pick up the car, get BC, then off to Bear, Delaware, for packet pick up the race on Sunday. It doesn’t appear they’ll be doing live updates, but I’ll try to get something up on LJ after I’m done.

I have to keep reminding myself that this is all perfectly normal.

I’m in the period commonly known as the “taper” for my race on Sunday (as well as “recovery” from the 1/2 marathon, but that’s another insanity). It’s when athletes ramp down their training time and intensity in order to give the body time to recover and be prepped for the effort of the race. And it’s perfectly normal during such a time period to experience feelings of depression, and let down, and anxiety, and just generally “blah.”

But knowing that it’s normal doesn’t make it any less annoying. Or make me any less grumpy.

But anyway.

So, I ran this little race last Sunday. The weather was near-perfect, with the start in the high 60s and slightly overcast. The boardwalk portion (a.k.a. the last two miles) was quite sunny and warm, however. Thankfully they had misting stations set up all down the thing, so one could run through the water for a quick cool-off. I tried to follow my heart rate for the run, knowing where my limits are for taking in nutrition, and trying to keep it lower for the first half. Mostly did okay with that, but definitely was slowing down by the end. Not nearly as much walking as the last time, though. Pretty much only walked twice (on the boardwalk) aside from the aid stations.

Oh, and lesson learned – carry water with me (like I did back in April). I can sip slowly when I want to, and not when they decide to put up a station, and I don’t have to gulp water down periodically, which was not pleasant. The water bottle stays with me for the upcoming race.

The bands were good this year, as they were the last time I ran this course in 2003. I finished faster (2:32:11) than the last time I ran it here (2:49:12), though slower than my overall best 1/2 (2:15:07). I wasn’t trying to kill myself, since I have another race (with another 1/2 marathon) a week after this one, though, so it was all good. I do recommend this race. It’s gotten bigger in terms of number of participants, but it’s still a fun course to run, relatively flat, and having a band every mile or so is definitely the way to run 13.1 miles.

BC and his sister also ran it and did well, with him at 2:20 and her at 2:12.

We had a perfect hotel for it, right at the end of the strip, and right where you got out of all the madness of the finish chute. Ocean views, and close enough to hear the stage but not so close that it was obnoxious when we closed the door to the balcony.

It was good to get a vacation weekend away with BC and friends. We did end up missing the concert Sunday night because dinner took for-e-ver, but that’s not unusual with holiday weekends in tourist spots. Not a bid deal to me, I’m not much of a fan of live music anyway, but you could tell there was some disappointment at the table when we realized how long it was taking to get food.

Since I’m originally from that area, BC got to meet my family as well, and they were out to cheer. Fun moment was BC’s sister running up to my Dad around mile 1 and asking him if he was my Dad (they hadn’t met), then BC running up behind, recognition, and her handing off a long-sleeve T for him to hold for her (she’d worn it to the start line). Dad’s version was more fun (“Suddenly this attractive young woman ran up to me off the course and asked if I was your father…”), but I can’t tell it as well as he could.

I do have to say, I’m glad the race season is almost over for me. One more month, four more races (1/2 iron, 5k, 5 miler, sprint tri), and that’s it. I need some down time after this year’s frenetic pace. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve enjoyed all the racing, but I’m ready for a break.

Let’s see. Today. Bullets:

• Left work “late” (aka on time) because I got caught up in fixing something. Not a bad thing, it gives me something to write tomorrow. (I say “late” because it’s summer and I typically am the last one in the office, with an official quit time of 6pm, and it’s been dead after 5pm)
• Got home to a new obsession in the mail. It’s all BC’s fault for mentioning it. And Amazon’s for offering the full set for less than $10.
• Played said obsession until just now. Hadn’t evven checked email this evening, that’s how bad it was.
• Despite that, managed to get laundry done for this weekend’s trip and race.
• Ran briefly this morning (as in, less than 2 miles). Went okay.
• Discovered while doing laundry that my favorite big running shorts have a hole in the crotch. Thank heavens I have multiple pairs to choose from.
• Still recovering from the head cold, but getting better.

And that’s about it today.

Was up until 4am. Sleep was not to be found. Then, I was rudely awakened at 8am by the sound of a chipper/shredder taking out the limb that came down Saturday night outside my window. Called work, went back to bed. Just getting up now, and only up because I got hungry. Well, that and the half-awake dreams got really, really fucked up and I couldn’t take them any more.

I even hauled out my neti pot to help clear out my nose. I haven’t used that thing in years. It did do a good job of clearing some stuff out, so I’ll probably see about doing it as a regular practice. I think I got the head position better last night than I have (chin and forehead level – previously I’d had the chin too far down I think) after a lot of insominac reading last night. And hey, if it helps, water and salt are cheap, certainly cheaper than sudafed.

I sense much monster killing today, around napping. And a little bit of work, since I have a meeting with a political appointee tomorrow about his project and how to fund it in a way that doesn’t kill the thing.

Another week, another head cold. Wouldn’t mind so much if I could just sleep. And maintain a stable temperature. And breathe. Aside from that, it’s all good. Ha.

Left work a bit early to come home and nap. We’ll see if I go in tomorrow. I brought some stuff home to read over for a meeting Wednesday, so I can be missed if need be. It was important to get in today because an investigator was coming in for my latest background check and I had to confirm this, that and the other with him, as well as sicking him on all my friends for their confirmation that I’m a crack-smoking communist spy an upstanding citizen.

And yes, they still ask if you are or have ever been a member of an organization which has plotted the violent overthrow of the US government (though they do not name the communist party specifically any more, at least they didn’t today). A new addition was questions about membership in terrorist organizations. All of it was pretty bland, truth be told, but glad that round’s over with.

Finally bought a backup disk for my iBook this weekend, so I went ahead and partitioned that and backed up the important files this evening. It’s not automated a la the PC version, but a simple copy and paste worked just as well. Getting all the music backed up, as well as the quicken data, addressbook, porn, and calendar on there was a good feeling. The laptop’s coming up on 3 years old, I think, with a lot of data I consider pretty important, so ’twas well past time for this.

Not much else going on. Hoping the cold’s gone enough for the next two races (the last three I couldn’t care less about), this weekend and next. In the meantime it’s rest, try not to kill myself, taper, etc. Quiet time.