Of Moose And Men
The Best Laid Plans Of Both Often Go Astray

Sorry for the overly dramatic last post. That’s what comes of posting in the moment, or right after the moment, as the case may be.

Yes, BC and I are no longer together. ‘Twas the culmination of several factors, and I fear the fault here really is mine. No freak out like the last guy I dated, but still, in the end I just wasn’t enough.

Thank you to the friends who reached out, I do appreciate that.

Today has pretty much been spent alternating between numbness and tears, not helped any by a hangover from last night’s Independence Day festivities. I just realized how little sleep I got last night from the time print on the last post – I had thought we’d crashed right after midnight, but it seems we were up a lot later than that. So for tonight some meditations on what has happened, and lots of sleep. This absolutely, positively stinks on ice, and it’s going to hurt for some time to come, and that’s not the overreaction of last night talking, either.

And then he proved, once again, that he was a failure. And life was what it was. And he was in pain, of his own fault. For he failed, and that was the end of the question, that he failed, and there was naught else that could be done to correct the failure, for it was total and entire.

For some reason I’ve just been exhausted this week. Enough so that I finally broke down and made an appointment to go talk to my doctor in two weeks about the occasional sleep aid. I’d really like to make it through one entire night without waking up 2-3 times over the course of the night. And be able to go to sleep sooner than a half hour after I turn out the lights. Damned overactive brain.

Was sore enough that I took today off from biking. The fact that Hains Point is closed for the celebration of the Fourth on Friday helped with that, too (they stage the fireworks and other necessities down at the point for the week before the holiday). So grabbed a little extra sleep this morning, but not enough to stave off all the yawns at work. Ibuprofen was also consumed. Who’d have thought golf was so vigorous, but that’s what I get for using muscles that I don’t normally touch in tri training.

I’m trying to find a new dermatologist as well. The first one I went to was a jerk, and his partner is okay, but always feels too rushed to really do anything with me. There’s a spot on my face I want looked at, given the family cancer history, and I know it’ll be months before I get in, even if I go to my current guy, but I’d really prefer someone who doesn’t feel nearly so rushed when trying to get through the appointment.

Long runs in the evening are teh suck. At least, they are when I haven’t cooked and don’t have food ready and waiting to eat when I’m done. Did six and a half miles, relatively slowly (though the pace picked up as I went along). Heel was not happy with me as I got done, so I’m sitting in the night brace here, making sure I’m stretching the plantar fascia. I had gone to the grocery store yesterday with BC, so had food to prepare, but then there was the preparation part. Finally eaten, but was nigh starving before I ate.

Feel like I need a massage. I hope it’s not BC’s cold coming on, and is just soreness from the run. He stayed over last night and was burning up a good chunk of the night.

Not sure which project I’m going to do next, knitting wise. I think I need to do some samplers to learn a few more skills for the next ones (increasing & decreasing, specifically) before I get started on them.

I’m feeling, hmmm, unengaged at work these days. The Project From Heck is in abeyance, stuck in our front office for noodling, so I’m working on a variety of smaller projects, none of which are terribly interesting or engaging. So I’m just feeling a bit adrift. I’m sure it’ll pass, but it’s damned annoying while it’s there.

I’m a week overdue for my normal haircut, but have an appointment tomorrow evening. So looking forward to that. It’s too shaggy at the moment, so it’s time to get shorn.

I feel irrationally nervy about today’s announcement from the California Supreme Court in their consolidated same-sex marriage cases.

The first set of prescription goggles came in yesterday (two more came in today), so I got to try them out in the pool this evening. It was a little distracting, actually, being able to see while in the water – just noticing the details I could see now was interesting, but distracting. I actually ended up doing a bunch of drills toward the end to reorient my body into the proper water feel with the new ability to see. This will definitely help with sighting in open water, and I did enjoy being able to see, but it’ll take some getting used to. I think this is the first time I’ve been able to see when I was doing in the water since I got glasses back in 6th grade.

Went ahead and joined the new gym this evening, rented a locker so I don’t have to drag my shower shoes back and forth any more. Not a bad deal, even with the locker rental it’s still cheaper than the old one.

Depending on tomorrow’s weather, I’m headed out to bike with my newbies tomorrow morning early. Then it’s off to BC’s place and a bbq thing with his family on Sunday. And sandal shopping so I can stave off repeats of the plantar fasciitis (’cause that stuff is not fun, and I did not appreciate the repeat twinges in my right heel last week).

I was a frustrated shopper earlier this evening. Everything around here closes too damned early. I need a small spring for my bike, but got home to late to zip to the bike store as they close at 7 (thankfully I can pop one off my mountain bike until I can pick one up), and I need to get some sandals for wearing in the house (podiatrist’s orders – he wants me wearing something to support my non-existent arches), but the store I want to go to closes before I leave work during the week. WTF? How do you stay in business when no one who actually works can come to your store during the week? Ugh.

My last shopping blitz (online), however is quickly bearing fruit – lots of notices from amazon that various things are on their way from various merchant partners as of today. I decided to try out different pairs of prescription swim goggles, so I ordered several to see which fit better, which I can see out of better, etc. I’m hoping that actually being able to see while in the water should help with the experience of the open water swim. And just swimming in general. I hate when I can’t see well, which has always made swimming somewhat annoying. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Work is … work. The Project From Heck is currently in abeyance, so I’m catching up on a few other things, but I’m hearing rumblings that the PFH may be back by the end of the week. Let’s hope not, I’d kind of like to catch up on the other things that keep zinging in.

Not quite two hours on the bike this morning, and not quite 31 miles. I was pleased, if a tad sore toward the end. The training log for the week actually looks like it should, minus the swimming, without major gaps between workouts. Most, most pleased. And my mood is much better, now that I’m actually exercising regularly again.

Plan for the day is shopping, shopping, shopping. Flatware, various household items, etc. Maybe some clothes. And if I can get in touch with himself I’m dragging him with me. Regardless, I think I’m going to head out soon and hit the ‘burbs to try and track some of this stuff down.

Unfortunately, between work and the need for more food in the house I did not get in a run this evening. Got home from yet another meeting with more Hill staffers this afternoon to once again talk about The Project From Heck and was just utterly wiped out. So, the last of the frozen pasta got cooked, some homemade sauce added to, and then much deliberating over which store to hit and which food to put on the list. If I don’t end up biking in the morning I might not bike at all tomorrow – it’s laundry night and I’ll be in a world of hurt if I don’t get to that tomorrow.

Yesterday? Pretty much a waste. Between the heat, humidity, and the urchins I slept hardly at all, so was just in a daze for most of the day. Lots of mindless Xbox play, reading, and eventually some knitting and TV watching.

Today, on the other hand, I feel like I’ve biked half of DC. At least I biked the southern half. It was the first ride for our newbie triathletes today, so I was out on ye olde and venerable (and quite heavy) mountain bike. ‘Twas a lot of fun, and as usual I rode sweep so I got to have a good chat with the young lady at the back of the pack. We did an impromptu tire changing demonstration as well. Overall it went very well, and no one got lost or injured.

After that I zipped home, called the parental units, then it was off to Barracks Row for bike and LYS (Local Yarn Shop) shopping. I went a new route to get over there, which is slightly out of the way, but safer than riding across M street, which had been my usual route. This turned out to be a very good thing, as there is evidently a baseball game going on this afternoon, so there were tons of cars all around the stadium. That would have been most unpleasant to bike through. As it was, there were more cars on the “back roads” than there normally are, due in large part to the new temporary parking lots in that part of southeast DC. Strangely there were also a ton of cars unsuccessfully attempting to find parking on the southwest side where I live as well. I guess they didn’t see the “there is no parking except for the parking lots so take Metro, you idiots” advertising all over the place in the weeks leading up to opening day.

Finally home to some lunch and settling in for a bit. I hope to see BC at some point (dinner?) this evening, since he takes off to see his grandparents in England on Tuesday and will be gone until late the following week. Work has had us both stressed out like there’s no tomorrow, so we’ve not gotten together for a bit, not having a ton of energy left after legal writing hell for me and late nights fixing the bad accounting from his predecessor for him. Miss him lots.