23 September, 2008
I cannot help but think the four men sitting in front of Congress today were quite full of shit. All of this while the Congress still hasn’t even funded the federal government for the next fiscal year, and can’t seem to decide on how they’re going to temporarily fund us, and for how long. This is, as I’ve often said, no way to run a government.
Long, busy day at work doing things I can’t talk about. Whee. I’ll mention the old adage about not wanting to see laws or sausages being made and leave it at that. And it’s going to start early tomorrow, too. Whee.
Got to see Dean, Richard and Gene for dinner this evening, which was quite nice. I find myself almost wishing for Metro rides across town as it gives me time to sit/stand and knit. I think I got a good 1/2 inch to an inch done on the hat I’m working on now. The downside is that my foot’s now sore again after walking around.
Tomorrow evening should be nice and quiet, with more needed straightening to do, but otherwise nothing is on the schedule, and I’m looking forward to that.
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14 September, 2008
Caught up on bills today, and worked through a backlog of mail and magazines (mostly by just tossing the unread magazines since it was highly unlikely I’d actually read the back issues now). Cleaned some in the process, clearing off the couch and the dining table for the first time in a while. Unboxed the new oven and microwave, in hopes the maintenance folks will be able to get to them this week or next (and in any case they look better without the huge boxes around them now), provided we can connect on the phone soon. And actually did some work (for the BGA) today as well.
Otherwise the day was pretty blue for me. Today was the Nation’s Triathlon, which was to be my last race this season, and what I hoped would be the capping race to what started out as a pretty good darned season. As it was, I couldn’t even bring myself to go down to watch it, or do any of the club events surrounding the event. The fact that I can’t run has weighed very heavily on me this year, and it’s not been pretty, nor very easy to deal with. I miss it, a lot. I didn’t realize how much it affected my entire being to be able to get out and just run. The fact that the lack of running has been the fault of fairly consistent pain in my right foot (which just brings the fact to the fore on a daily basis) contributes to this, I’m sure.
The foot’s actually been more sore, which the aftercare guidelines says is normal for the first couple of weeks after the zapping. Hopefully it’ll get better as I get closer to the follow-up appointment on the 3rd, I’m really getting tired of having pain when I get up in the morning and take that first step (or if I end up walking a bit too much during the day, which is pretty much every day for me).
Anyway, what will happen will happen, and I’ll keep working with the podiatrist until the foot’s back to normal, but in the meantime I’m not much motivated for tri stuff.
Oh, and I finally withdrew formally from the IM race in November, too, so I can get the minimal refund they’ll send for it. Much sadness there, I really wanted to finally do one of those and I thought this was going to be the year for it. Guess not.
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8 September, 2008
Well, the foot is doing better. The ankle finally went down, and stopped being sore. The bottom of the foot hasn’t really been sore, though I had a twinge this morning after not wearing the night brace last night.
Work has started to pick up now that we’re fully into the last month of the federal fiscal year. It’s going to be nuts until early to mid-October, but that’s the norm for me. We’re doing drafting assistance like crazy for the CR that’s coming up in October. Still not sure how long the thing will be for, probably at least 3 months, but it depends on when and if Congress wants to come back for a lame duck session to pass real appropriation bills or just fund the gubmint through to after the inauguration. This is no way to run a government, but it’s what we’ve got.
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4 September, 2008
I’ll write up the last bit of the trip to SF this weekend, promise, but first a foot update.
Got myself zapped yesterday afternoon at my podiatrist’s office. The worst part of the whole procedure was getting anesthetized by the doc, since he had to jab a needle in either side of my ankle to get to the nerves there and numb the bottom of the foot completely without affecting the rest of the foot. The inside took a while, where he found the outside right as he stuck the needle in. Regardless, I was pretty sore today from the jabbing around inside. I was especially annoyed at the “this should last for about an hour” when I was still mostly numb at midnight when I finally went to bed. Was back to normal this morning, aside from being very, very sore around the ankle.
The zapping itself was easy, I just sat there (and knitted) while the machine send sound waves into my foot, and the technician made sure my foot stayed in place for it. Not exactly exciting, which was fine by me.
Was slow going this morning, and I actually ended up leaving work a bit early today as well. Got a little nauseous, and had a nasty headache. Couldn’t take anything for the headache because the aftercare says no anti-inflammatories for the next month if they can be avoided. Part of the ESWT is to induce inflammation so the body will heal the foot, so negating that would be bad. So I left early and came home to do laundry. Well, came home after I got a replacement iPhone for the one I dropped while in SF and cracked the screen on. But that’s for the next update.
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25 August, 2008
Well, I now have the dubious distinction of being the only person in my immediate family who has not had cancer. My brother had a spot removed from his back last week and got the news that it’s a melanoma. So he’s off to a surgeon soon to make sure they carved it all out. Luckily my father and his aunt have both had it and both survived (and are still alive now), so there’s a better than normal chance that my brother will also.
So I finally made a much-needed appointment to get a spot checked out on my face, as well as doing a full body check for spots on myself. Debating going back down home to my old (i.e., high school era) dermatologist, though – I really don’t care much for the guy I have here in DC, and none of the other choices I’ve seen/heard of sound much better. The guy from home was odd, but personable and accessible. And my brother tells me he takes my insurance, so it wouldn’t be a particular hardship to head down there (aside from the drive).
In other, better news, I spoke with one of my colleagues at work about post-employment ethics restrictions, and it sounds like I’m actually pretty well off vis-a-vis the post-employment restrictions, should I choose to leave the BGA. Have lunch tomorrow with a co-worker to chat about her experiences working on the Hill and in the private sector. Started updating my resume this afternoon (yuck!). This promises to be an interesting few months.
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21 August, 2008
I’m bored shitless at my job. There, I’ve said it. I’m not sure what to do about it, either. If I want to stay with the Feds I could jump over to OMB, but frankly I think that would simply be more of the same, with more work, the same pay, more stress and a longer commute. Not exactly an appetizing picture, ya know? The one saving grace of doing what I do where I do now is that there are some boutique sections in several firms in town who might be interested in me. Provided I can get the proper ethics clearance to do that.
But would I want to move to the private sector? I’d certainly be much more mobile there, not necessarily tied to a particular firm, or even to DC itself if I wished to move. There’s something to be said for that.
I actually took a mental health day today. Couldn’t rouse myself this morning, and the thought of going into work was absolutely demotivating. I’m nowhere near where I was in terms of dislike as I was at the last BGA, but I just did not want to go in today, so I didn’t.
I think it’s time to start exploring my options, talking with friends who know a bit more about the market & what various options might entail. Can’t go forward if I don’t know which paths are open to me now. I’m worried that my particular specialty will limit those options, but hopefully there are more creative uses for it than I’m coming up with off the top of my head.
Until then, it’s going to be a challenge to push forward at the current BGA unless I can disengage a bit from it all. Which bugs the fuck out of me – I don’t like thinking that I’m not giving it my all. It’s anathema to working for me. But I’m unclear as to how to proceed.
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6 August, 2008
It’s a good thing when I remember to take in a ton of water after drinking early in the evening – no hangover this morning. The friend showed up shortly after I posted the last entry, and we got some dinner & got into a showing of Hancock. Not a bad flick, though several of the elements were a little obvious. It would be fun if they did a prequel to the movie, showing his origins.
Foot’s a little better this morning – I had run yesterday, which was probably why it was so sore. Definitely having a full recurrence of the PF, though, so back to the podiatrist next week. I suspect he’ll want to do the ESWT this time, and I think I agree, though it may kill doing the last two races of the season.
Forgot to put on a watch this morning, a rareity for me, so I’m going to be dependent on the electronics fir time telling today. I know there are people who never wear a watch because they always have their cell on them, but I like the familiar weight of a watch on my wrist. It’s part of my normal routine, and more convenient than hauling out the phone.
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21 July, 2008
Started training again this morning, after a two week mostly-break. Was hot as all get-out, but got through it. My next race is in 4 weeks, in Luray Virginia (pronounced “LOO-ray,” not “luh-ray” as you might think), another olympic race, so I have to get prepped for that. Remind me not to take an exercise break after my next breakup, it’s not worth it, even if I am feeling blue.
In other news regarding the breakup, I seem to have gotten some of my tolerance back. Not that this is necessarily a good thing, but it is nice not being completely worthless after having drinks.
I’ve finally managed to break out of some of the isolation I’ve had especially in this two week period, but also to a degree since having moved down to southwest. I’m trying to be more active about getting myself out of the apartment and around folks, and spent a good part of the weekend doing just that. And that’s been fun. I’m not quite sure how I’m going to work in training for all three sports in the tri, but I’ll muddle through somehow. In the meantime, I’m enjoying getting out of the house more, and look forward to more of this.
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13 July, 2008
Running a little slow this morning. Last night was one of those “my brain will not shut off” kind of nights, with melatonin and exhaustion finally kicking in around 3-something. It wasn’t all a bad thing – the brain was going over some conversations I’ve had over the course of the weekend, and thinking a lot on what it is I want to be doing with myself, and with other people.
I did miss going out to take photos of the training tri this morning with the club, but I’m headed out to brunch at a friend’s house in a little bit, then a potluck birthday thing this evening over in Virginia with one of my body electric buddies.
I did decide that I’m not going to do the IM this fall. It’s not to say that I won’t ever do one, but it’s not the right time, and I think I signed up for it for the wrong reasons. I still have two races I’m currently signed up for, and I can find one or two more for the fall here locally. And perhaps this year I won’t end the season completely burnt out and unmotivated to do off-season fitness maintenance.
I also think I’m going to attend the local Celebrate the Body Erotic course in November. I need the refresher, and I’d like to go back to an earlier plan of mine, to attend one of the week-long intensives next summer. I also need the renewal of my ties to this particular community. I’ve been disengaged from the energies I need for long enough now, it’s time to get them back.
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8 July, 2008
I think I finally pinned down what it is I’ve been feeling for the past day or so, and that’s lost. Something I considered an anchor (though whether I clung to that anchor for the right reasons is a whole other story) is gone, and I’m doing the usual soul-searching that comes from such an upheaval.
And it’s not particularly fun.
This on the heels of just having had a “what do you want to do with your life” talk with my supervisor, going over advancement possibilities, and thinking about what else I might want to do with my career. I’m fairly happy with my job, though I will admit these days to being somewhat bored with it, too. Same old issues, same old fights, and in some ways a new crew of managers coming in (not in my office, but in others I deal with) who are not quite as pleasant to work with as the ones I deal with daily now. Do I want to stick with that? But what else would I do? So frustrating.
It doesn’t help me that I’m horrible at cultivating a support network. I don’t reach out to folks as I might, and I don’t really go outside myself when dealing with a problem (save for venting here). “My problems are my problems,” my little brain says to me, “and they’re for me to deal with, alone, until they’re taken care of.” And that’s not always the best solution. In fact, it’s probably rarely the best solution. I work, maybe I go exercise, I come home, I veg, I maybe chat online, but that’s it. And I don’t think that’s enough for me.
I’m also very seriously reconsidering the IM in November. My parents are iffy, because Dad’s going to have some surgery around then and so they don’t know if they’ll be able to travel out. BC won’t be coming, obviously. And frankly, the idea of going out there for a week and coming across that finish line for something that big with no one there to greet me, celebrate with me, or just to see it happen is just not an appealing one. Yes, I wanted to do it because it’s a challenge, but I’m not sure if I like the cost at this point.
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