Of Moose And Men
The Best Laid Plans Of Both Often Go Astray

Clearly feeling more than a little bit of volunteer burnout today. I know it’ll pass, but at the moment I could take the three organizations I’m currently doing work for and happily pitch them all directly into the Potomac. I think this always happens the days I have meetings at the cult co-op. Those can be so incredibly contentious, over the smallest things, that they’re frequently quite unpleasant to sit through. Makes me wish I had already picked up how to knit, as at least that could occupy my hands while I listened to them drone on.

Got to see BC last night for dinner and a horror flick. Whoever set up the arms at the theater so they could be pulled up between the seats and out of the way is a genius, as that made cuddling during the movie all the better.

And to whoever decided to start the as-yet-unreleased new Nicole Kidman flick with images of a space shuttle breaking up on reentry, may you die a horrible, painful death. Like any of us needed to see that happening again. Watching the first shuttle accident live on TV in Junior High was bad enough, having to help with post-cleanup efforts from the second one in the early 2000s was worse. Seeing it on the screen was not pleasant. So, yeah, thanks for the memories, asshat.

Oh, and the smell of pot and incense is back. I’ve placed a call with the local police lieutenant to see if they can do anything about it if I report the smell when it’s back. Not entirely hopeful, but wanted to know my options there. I’ve had it with these folks, and with this smell.

My stomach decided to misbehave (damned lunch burrito) so I cancelled the swim and came home instead. Once here I decided I’d had enough of the crap on my desk and dining room table, so that’s all mostly cleaned up now. Caught up on mail (but not on magazines – oy), shredded what needed to be shredded, prepped other stuff to file, and mostly made the place fall into order again, which definitely helped bring the mood up from the stomach and lack of swimming.

I need to do the same in the bedroom, but I’m holding off until tomorrow or Friday because one of those two days my new dressers are arriving. I couldn’t say for certain because I have a meeting one of the two days with my deputy general counsel and his schedule’s somewhat in the air, so one day or the other I have the meeting, meaning the other day I get my furniture. It’s worth it because the meeting will be another step closer to killing off a major pain-in-my-ass project, but I really, really want to get my clothes off the floor. Their presence there has been driving me nuts, ever since I got rid of the other chest of drawers. Not that I regret getting it down to my parents and niece, but the floor stuff has got to go. Then I can do a goodwill donation run and get rid of unused clothes and be much better off.

And perhaps even think about finally having people over in numbers larger than one.

Despite what I’ve done it still doesn’t feel completely together yet, though. I guess my expectations are still high. Doesn’t help when I go to friends’ places and they just look like someone actually thought out a plan and coordinated what they were doing. I’m starting to get there, but it’s a slow process on my budget, and it’s an area where I’m feeling the more hummingbird side of my patience (as opposed to the buddha-in-the-wilderness side). It’s frustrating, the waiting and slowly choosing stuff. I want it all done and together NOW, but it doesn’t happen that way. At least some order is coming out of the chaos, and that’s a good thing.

So, I am be-couched (be-sofaed?). In any case, I have seating.

An orgy of cleaning followed an announcement on Thursday that the delivery guy would be here today (as opposed to two more weeks from now, which was the original delivery date!). The place actually looks much, much closer to what I want it to look like, with all the stuff off the dining table (including the dust). I’m sure I’ll get pictures up later.

Anyway, he arrived, in a mini-van with my couch strapped to the top in a big box. The thing is large enough that we couldn’t fit into the elevator, so up the stairs it was. So glad I live on the 3rd and not the 8th floor. Assembly was easy – screw on the legs and flip it over.

I’ve found a taker for the old futon couch, but that won’t happen until tomorrow or Tuesday, so it’s taking up some room. Thankfully I have the room for it, without needing to trip over it every time I go to the kitchen, but I’ll be glad when it’s gone.

I do need to get art or a mirror or something for this wall, though. The bookshelf used to be here, and that obviated the need for anything, but now that it’s just the nice, low sofa, there’s a big lot of plain wall there that is crying out for something. Paint, a painting, something.

Otherwise there wasn’t a whole heck of a lot else going on this weekend for me. The time shift was hell on my system for some reason, so not a lot got done this week aside from work and the cult’s board elections. Hopefully this next week will be better.

I wish I could figure out for certain what my triggers are for depressive incidents. Injury is certainly one, as is feeling unwell/sick. But one does so tire of dealing with that crap. Nothing like wanting to just sit around and mope for days. And eat. Let’s not forget eating. Which of course adds to the depression, while feeling fat, fat, fat, and unable to control the desire to eat. Being currently at the highest weight I’ve been at in a number of years isn’t helping, either. Ugh. Thankfully the incidents don’t usually last for all that long, but it’d be nice to short-circuit them entirely. Or find a way to let it sweep over me and be done with it.

In happier news, ran into a friend while walking home tonight. She’s (finally) gotten a new job and is now working literally right around the corner from me at another BGA (fellow fed lifer there). Will have to get lunch with her and catch up.

But not any time soon. The CR has heated up, with passage in the House, and with it a lot of demands on my time at work. This has beeen such an unusual year, what with the former Congress totally punting on their one major responsibility in their final year – funding the Federal government’s operations. Unfortunately the Senate’s not going to take up the CR until a week from Tuesday, a little over a week after the next year’s budget request comes out this Monday. What a mess. I’m sure that hasn’t helped much, either.

I’m going to need to ramp up my running, getting up early enough to get in decent miles to build up to the two April races, and ramp down some of the other cross training stuff I’m doing. I don’t have any tris coming up until the fall, so it’s not crucial to maintain the swimming and biking quite as much as the running. The endorphins from running are more helpful, too. Of course, the cold weather out there isn’t much fun, but I’ve got enough clothes to stay warm enough out there. And regular exercise does help the mood. A lot.

I suppose this is one of the drawbacks of training as I do, what with swimming and what not. it seems I have a nascent case of swimmer’s ear. At least, I think that’s what it is now. Previously (because I’ve had lighter versions of these symptoms before in the winter) I’d just assumed it was a bit of excess snot built up in my sinuses, as the symptoms weren’t that far apart (slight pressure on the eardrum, which is really irritating when you’re running and your eardrum is beating in time with your steps). Now, I’m pretty much convinced it’s swimmer’s ear, so i’m backing off swimming this week, seeing my physician’s assistant on Wednesday, and in the meantime I’m just about steadily saying: OUCH!

This. Fracking. Hurts.

I’ll be getting some earplugs next week, too. Ouch.

In other news™, I keep thinking I want to get a Wii, but then I remember that I barely have time for my DS these days, which means I’m really not playing games at all, which means a Wii would pretty much be a waste of money. Which is annoying, because it looks fun, but I’d rather save my $$ and pay off a student loan this year. Irritating to be so ‘adult’ at times. I’d also rather spend my time, at least until July 22, on training our newbies for their first triathlon. After the ear’s better, of course.

Ouch.

I hate when recipes lie. “Simmer until the vegetables are tender, about 40 minutes.” 40 minutes my ass, how about 2 hours? Liars. And I think this happens more often than people think with cookbooks (because, really, if it said “2 hours” would most people try the recipe? no).

Finally got snow. I was debating biking to work tomorrow, then MG reminded me that no one will know how to drive tomorrow and I really didn’t want to be on the road with those fools. Point taken, I’ll walk. Did go run this afternoon and with 15 minutes to go the snow started (tiny little stuff, but snow nonetheless). That was fun, been a while since I’d run in snow.

Of course, if it sticks around, it won’t be the last time this week, either. Provided it’s not too icy.

Picked up gobs and gobs of groceries yesterday, before I realized it was going to snow. Needed tons of staples, so off I went to pack my little bag lady cart and subsequently my limited cabinets with lotsa food. Forgot coffee, though. Will have to pick up more after the pool. Was otherwise feeling a little bit of my hermit-mood for the weekend. Did go see a play with Richard, his much belated birthday gift, this evening, and MG was over last night and today, but was feeling the urge to just stay in and nest. Trying to break out of that some, but it was a particularly social week, with two happy hours, so perhaps I was just burnt out.

After biking all over creation today (well, not quite, but more than the usual for me as I had errands to run, post-gym), and swimming for an hour, I feel much, much better. Moose + Exercise = Much Better Mood. It also = much hungrier Moose, but that’s par for the course.  It helped that it was insanely warm here in DC today, around 70 F (~21 C) for the high, where the normal high is about 23 degrees cooler than that, around 47 F (~8 C) or so. So after all that it was home to wash clothes, grab some leftover soup and chill out.

Work is in that odd state of not-quite-fully-loaded-up, but not-quite-on-down-time either. We always expect it to be quieter, but somehow the inevitable last minute crises appear. At least it’s not completely dead, though then I would be able to catch up on filing and clear off my desk.

Party tomorrow evening, and seeing MG for probably the last time before he takes off for his trip back home for the holiday. Office party is also tomorrow (my particular section, as opposed to my larger attorney office, which was last week). My boss asked one of the organizers if it was going to be a dry party. We assured her it was not, so she zipped off the requisite mother-may-I letter to the building manager and got our permission (long gone are the days when feds could legally keep liquor in their offices without any check or fear or reprimand).

Not sure if I’ll get a run in tomorrow morning or not. If not, so be it. If so, yay. Would be better with, to stave off the party calories, but that’s what the rest of the week is for.

Went from a week of so-so sleep to a night of no sleep Friday and it absolutely wrecked my Saturday. Couldn’t nap to save my life, didn’t do any of the errands I’d wanted to do, and I was a snarling, irritated mess. Thankfully I was able to spend the majority of it alone, and did get better sleep last night, which meant I was able to run those errands today, but didn’t do a lot more than that.

Part of the sleep thing is that MG is a restless sleeper, and I’m not the deepest sleeper in the world, so when he’s tossing or talking, it can wake me up. I may have to try ear plugs or something. He’s told me to wake him up, but that’s not my wont. Something will have to be found, and I’m sure we will, but working it out in the meantime has left me irritated.

Did take the time to make a good batch of soup today. I’d bought the veggies earlier this week and just hadn’t gotten around to making the soup itself. And let me just say, whoevver invented curry powder has my undying gratitude. Love, love, love the stuff. Combine it with peanut butter and I’m in heaven. Folks who’ve been to my previous soup night parties will have had this, the African Bean Soup. So had good soup, put some in the fridge, and several servings in the freezer.

I’m also thinking it’s finally time to have a soup night party soon. Haven’t had a get-together in the new place yet, so sometime after the new year I’ll have one.

It’s hard not to feel bitter this morning since I’m not out there racing the Marine Corps Marathon. The knee did not improve sufficiently over the week to feel comfortable doing a race of this length, and discretion is the better part of valor, or however that goes, and so I’m skipping the thing this year. There will be other races, and my ego was not so invested that this is a crippling event psychologically, but it’s still disappointing after all the training.

Not helping the mood is that I just paid out the ass so I can not listen to/watch a bunch of useless Continuing Legal Education courses so I can keep my law license. One does like to stay employed, but one wishes it weren’t so expensive, nor such a waste of time (there are no CLEs in my practice area).
Did sit down this week and look at next season’s races. I’ve picked several that I think I can do. Unsure as to whether I’ll sign up for another marathon (did put a half marathon in the mix, early in the season), but picked out a couple of triathlons, and I’m seriously considering doing a half ironman toward the end of the season (1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, 13.1 mile run).  Added into the mix this year has to be more serious weight and core training. The IT band troubles I’ve had this past week are the proof of that, and I’d really rather avoid this sort of thing again if at all possible. The weights and core work will help stabilize stuff, and I’ve known that (intellectually), but not really felt the need for it (emotionally). Well, now I can’t afford to neglect it, so back to the weight room I go.

Thankfully, for the runners, it’s a gorgeous morning here in DC, and it looks to stay that way through the entire race. You couldn’t ask for better conditions. Which will make going out to watch pretty nice, too.

Got up this morning totally Mr. Cranky Pants. Did not want to get up, did not want to go run, did not want to see anyone, did not want to do anything. Sat around, pouted, read the paper (they’ve been delivering it regularly since Tuesday), pouted some more, and was generally in a horrible mood. Was feeling like I’m tired of training for the marathon, I’m tired of feeling like I waste an entire weekend day doing the long runs, and a lot of, “Why am I doing this if it’s not fun?” Of course, I do it because it is fun, I do enjoy it, it’s just that I was feeling a total lack of motivation this morning. Was also missing MG, who’s been away for work this week. And, as I said, just feeling a big dose of the blahs. Must’ve had something physical going on as well, stress-wise, this week, because my eczema’s flared up as well.

Thankfully around mid-afternoon I snapped out of it as I did massive amounts of floor cleaning (yay swiffer wet), did laundry, even ironed (which is a measure of how blah I’d been feeling – I never iron). Feel much better now. MG’s headed back to town tonight, and will wander over. In the mean time I’ve lit a bunch of candles, popped in a movie, turned the lights off and am relaxing. It’s not quite meditation, but it’s much more restful than I’ve been of late. Hopefully the long run tomorrow will be better for excising Mr. Cranky Pants from my system.

In other news™, I had an unexpected surprise yesterday when I pulled up my leave and earnings statement. Evidently the beginning of the month was an anniversary at work because I went up a step for the paycheck that hits next week. Extra money is always nice, especially unexpected extra money. Oh, and my parents now know about the new neice/nephew, speaking of expectations, and also that my brother will be teaching sixth grade starting in the next week or so. Good news all around (which made the attack of the cranky pants all the more bizarre).