Of Moose And Men
The Best Laid Plans Of Both Often Go Astray

Surprising the boy with a slow cooker batch of meatballs tomorrow. He’s been at a work retreat the past two nights and gets back tomorrow, and will do so to an apartment that will smell fabulous.

I’m still irritated at myself, with regard to my last post on countfour. And I’m finding it difficult to blog as well. It’s an election year in DC, I can’t really talk about work or politics (yay Hatch act!), and it seems crazier than normal (in no small matter because of the proliferation of political ads, since Virginia is in play this year). I did finally get new orthotics for running, after some drama with the PT shop (the first set was too wide/tall & had to be shaved down to fit; PT guy was clearly not happy when I brought them in for refitting, but we got it resolved). So now I can run again, and have been starting to get back to that.

We’ve put in a request for a proposal for a wedding venue. Like the place, options seem good, then it’s just picking a date. Oy. The only date we know we want/have to work around is July 6, which is next year’s Total 200 ride, which the boy has said he wants to do next year, and I’m game to ride with him.

1. I’m fat (by which I mean I’m well overweight, not that I’m fatally obese).
2. I don’t like what my body looks like, naked.
3. The state of my body and health embarrasses me.
4. Being overweight affects my self-confidence in all aspects of my life.
5. I do not have self-control over junk food.
6. My body is not forgiving, so my diet needs to be exemplary.
7. I’m an emotional eater.
8. When I don’t plan my eating, I don’t eat well.
9. I spend too much energy trying to find a perfect, total solution to these problems, rather than focusing on small, incremental changes.
10. I get angry when small setbacks occur.
11. I give in to the negative talk in my head.
12. I obsess over my flaws.
13. These things hold me back from being the person I want to be.

Hmph. I seem to have picked up another bug of some sort. This one just seems to be content with giving me a lovely sore throat. But only on the right side of my throat. No fever, no aches, just the one-sided sore throat. Most bizarre thing I’ve ever had. Went to urgent care on Saturday to see if it were strep, and I think I’m rapidly converting to the view that they’re practically useless, because both times I’ve tried them I’ve ended up going to see my primary care doc later anyway. Meh. Oh, and the quickie strep test came back negative. Ugh.

Other than that (which makes eating and talking loads of fun, let me tell you), work is slowly getting spun up with the possibility of a shut down after the current continuing resolution expires next Friday, the 4th. Both parties are playing chicken and government workers are stuck in the middle. You know, make some decisions, fund the damned government, be those levels up, down, or the status quo, but just fund us and let us do what we’re supposed to be doing – we’ll manage if you just give us some direction and let us run with it. The last time they did this back in 95/96 when large numbers of feds were furloughed Congress passed bills giving back pay to the workers sent home, but I just don’t see that happening this time around. Not a fun time, especially being the lead lawyer on fiscal issues. Oh, and bonus, it’s highly unlikely I’d be named as “essential personnel” so I wouldn’t be working or getting paid, either, if we shut down. Joy.

And all this is just a precursor to the fight over the debt ceiling later this winter/early this spring. That’s when the shit really hits the fan because even if an agency has multi-year or no-year funds and can keep operating without new money, the Treasury won’t be able to warrant out any funds to make payments, so it’s likely that at that point everyone will get shut down, period. No money to make tax refunds, to pay social security, make Medicare payments, etc. That’s when we’ll really see the shit hit the fan.

So, yeah, stress city right now. Can this winter be over yet?

Had a really successful bike ride on Saturday. 101 miles, no cramping. Did get tired of eating, but no burping up with a completely full stomach, so managed to keep hydrated and thoroughly electrolyted. It was another ride where I focused on hydration with the result that I constantly had to pee. Again. Just like Total 200. Better that than cramps, but man, got tired of hunting for port-a-johns and bathrooms on the way. Keep this up and I’m going to get to know all of them on the W&OD.

Didn’t get started until 9, which is roughly when I should be starting the IM, depending on when I get into the water. It all worked, even with a rest break at the 1/2 way point and a popped tube in the middle of suburbia, so I think I should be able to get through the thing now. I used Nuun rather than a caloried sports drink this time, and I think that made the difference. I kept the aero bottle between the bars and one of my water bottles filled with water, and one water bottle filled with Nuun. I’d alternate sipping some Nuun after eating with sipping water. I think I may have found the right mix to get through the bike. Hopefully the mix that worked for the run at Eagleman will work as well at Louisville.

So far so good.

In other news™ I’ve been dating someone I’ll call The Boy here for a month now. It’s going well, and I’m enjoying it. He lives a way out in Northern Virginia, but we’ve managed to see each other at least once or twice a week since we first met back on the 1st of July. He’s off with his family to Maine for a week starting tomorrow, so won’t see him at all in the next week, though I imagine there will be much texting. Dragged him out to Nerd Brunch, my regular Sunday thing, as well as a game day party, and so far that’s worked. Am enjoying the company. He’s roughly my size, so we fit together well while cuddling on the couch.

Speaking of couches, I finally ordered a new one, one I hope will be more conducive to the aforementioned cuddling. It’ll be delivered in a couple of months, by which point I’ll have figured out what to do with the current one. It’s not a sleeper, unlike the current one, so I added an ottoman that is a sleeper in a matching fabric. Ever so slowly the living room will come together.

Feeling a bit worn out this week, likely still feeling after effects from the all-day ride this past Saturday. The ride went fairly well, though I pulled out after lunch (108 miles), then reinserted for the last 17 at the last aid station, putting my total mileage at exactly 125 miles. Had some heat & nutrition issues, though was never dehydrated. Far from dehydrated, in fact – every chance I got I was peeing! And while there was a twinge or two in my inner thighs, I feel like I mostly did okay with nutrition, until I started adding in too much sports drink. Stomach couldn’t handle that many calories at once, so had to stop taking stuff in, which wasn’t good, and probably contributed to the post-lunch slump. So, either diluted sports drink this weekend, or perhaps try the “nuun” stuff (fizzy, electrolytes, but no calories).

The heat was definitely a factor, with several participants from previous years saying this was the hottest the event had ever been. Not that I’d have felt bad dropping back even if it hadn’t been ungodly hot, but it does help that the external factor of the heat was known and acknowledged by the group.

It was a good learning experience, though, which was what I needed for the IM. I’d still like to be faster going up hills, but that’s for next season I think. I’m also thinking after some down time post-IM that I really, really need to do some weights this fall in the off season. Might help, and can’t hurt.

But in the meantime, I’m trying to get back into a groove, and I’m just not there yet. I’ll get there, but until then I’m just trying to rest and recuperate. Another lesson from Saturday – give yourself adequate time to be down and recuperate. But I’m feeling tired of being tired.

I haven’t managed to switch the swim and run workouts yet, but it’s been an odd couple of weeks for workouts. Got in a fun 5 hour ride last weekend to prep for Eagleman this Sunday, and it felt good. Overall I’m feeling good about this one, though it’s looking like it’s gonna be a really, really hot run.

I’m remembering now why it is I haven’t signed up for this race before, though – it’s the same weekend as Gay Pride here in DC, and I’m regretting that I’m going to miss the festivities. As much as I’m looking forward to another PR (gotta beat Diamondman’s dreadful seven and a half hours – ugh!), I’m going to miss seeing a lot of friends who only come into DC on special occasions like Pride. So as I sit and pack tonight it’s kind of melancholy. It’ll be better as the race excitement hits tomorrow, but tonight I’m feeling a little sad for missing it.

With five seasons under my belt, I think this is the most prepared I’ve been this early. Packet pick up is done, the bike has been dropped off in transition. I’ve put my folding chair, the floor pump and the cookbooks I’m lending to my friend John in the car. My tri suit, chip and heart rate monitor strap are laid out with body glide for the morning. Transition towels, bike shoes, socks, nutrition, helmet and gloves are in the bag, as are my running shoes and socks, race number, run nutrition, and hat. Wet suit is hanging at the ready. Water bottles have been cleaned and are drying for the morning. A change of clothes for cleaning up at John’s place after the race is good to go. Coffee’s brewing so it’ll be there tomorrow morning to be zapped (takes too long otherwise). All that’s left is setting the alarms tonight and crashing later. Then in the morning it’s up, pack the car, get up to the race site, set up transition and get going. My wave starts at 7:16, should be done somewhere before 10:50, heaven willing. Fun day ahead, and I’m looking forward to it.

Feeling seriously annoyed this evening at the lack of gay men in my chosen sport. There’s maybe two other gay men that I know of in the club, and neither shows up to anything with any regularity, so I tend to be the lone, token fag. And heaven forfend there might actually be other gay men who might want to challenge themselves athletically. And heaven forfend there might actually be another triathlete to date.

We had a club happy hour this evening, and while it’s great seeing my friends in the club, it also drove home a bit of alienation I feel at being the sole out gay man at any of these events, social or training. And mentioning ‘triathlon’ to many non-triathletes ends up scaring them off as potential suitors because they feel like they won’t measure up (the usual reaction is some variation on ‘I could never do that’, ‘wow, you must be really fit,’ or a simple ‘oh’ as they slink off). It’s not like I feel like I have to date another triathlete, but it might at least get rid of the intimidation factor related to the sport.

I guess this is just a long way of saying I’m feeling lonely at the moment and I’d like to have someone else to share some of my life with, in more than just a friendship, who I wouldn’t scare off with my hobbies (we won’t even go into the looks I get when I mention that I knit).

Earlier this week was a bit crappy. The weather was cool and wet, and that set off a bit of SAD, and triggering my body’s “OMG, it’s winter, must EAT!!” urge. Grrr. Not a happy time. Thankfully I’m feeling much better today after talking my appetite back down. And some sunlight. And winning the general counsel’s annual award for legal excellence.

The office gives out three awards a year, one for a line attorney, one for support staff, and one for management. I won the line attorney award for this year, which was pretty darned snazzy, if I do say so myself. It’s nice to know the effort with the stimulus bill was seen and recognized.

Have a teeny bit of pre-race jitters going on this week, too. It’ll be fine once race day is here, but in the meantime this is normal, and it’ll pass. Got laundry done this evening, and just need to do a little grocery shopping, drop off the bike on Saturday, and then the race. Easy peasy.

February just sucked gorilla butt.

Since I haven’t posted since mid-February here, there have been a number of changes, with the usual ‘things in threes’ as well. On top of the death of my grandfather, Mike and I broke things off, and I finally discovered what the third casualty was. In the mess in the middle of the month my office and I completely lost the invite to the GAO annual one-day update on the state of appropriations law over the past year. On Friday I found out it had happened the day before. Understand, this is the one bit of professional development I get to do each year which is actually relevant to what I do at work (as opposed to the annual CLE requirements & courses for the bar, which are a complete waste of my time), and I haven’t missed one since they started doing them until this year. So, yeah, February sucked gorilla butt.

March has been better. I’m on track to do okay in the half marathon next weekend, and by extension the 10 miler next month. I’m getting a good base built for the IM, setting the stage for that little challenge at the end of August. To keep myself on track there I’ve actually stopped drinking. I’ve found that when I do drink, even just a single drink, I tend to drag badly the next day, which prevents me from training (and puts me in a foul mood). The IM is too important to me to let a preventable thing stand in the way, so I’m not letting it. I’ve gone out a time or two to bars with friends now, and it’s actually not been bad not drinking.

Works’ been crazier this month than last, and we’re starting to run against political pressures on spending. Thankfully my office advertised for another fiscal law specialist, which closed Friday, so we’ll start setting up interviews for the next week or two. I hope the process goes quickly, I definitely need the help, and soon.