Of Moose And Men
The Best Laid Plans Of Both Often Go Astray

No drugs today. Yay. But stuck in all day meetings which were more like mini-let’s-not-panic sessions. I think half of my job right now is calming people down to get them to focus. Eventually I sent some notes to the leaders of the committee after I had some quiet time by myself to think about what we were trying to accomplish and laid out my thoughts in a doc to share.

Then a senior manager who was in the meeting with me all day had a related legal question and instead of emailing me, the guy who had been answering legal questions all day for the group including him, he emailed the general counsel directly. Who, of course, then had to turn around and send it to me to give her the answer. Dork. After everything else that was the “I’m out!” moment of the afternoon. Not really, but I seriously wanted to smack him upside the head.

I’ve been telling people at work to just focus on the small tasks they have to get done and not try to encompass the entirety of all the new orders coming down the pike; that way lies madness. Like trying to follow the entirety of social media, it’s just not possible.

Still sick. Ran to the pharmacy for refills of various cold medications that I’ve almost run through. Napped for a bit right after lunch. Comics and dinner out, then reading and serving as a cat bed when we got back to the house.

We will not be doing a late night tonight. The husband and I both expressed that we’d prefer to sleep at the normal time, so after finishing this past season of Only Murders in the Building (so good!) we both retired to our offices to wind down on daily tasks. I got my bullet journals for work and home set up for the new month (kept separate for work records reasons), and did a little reminiscing and planning in both. There are fireworks going off somewhere in the distance, little pops as the show goes on.

We also had a summer-like thunderstorm right around dinner time that set off a tornado warning south of us, and had hail to the east of us in Annapolis. The thunder and heavy rain was more than enough; glad we missed the more exciting stuff.

Got outside to walk today instead of the treadmill. Post-lunch walk with a stop into the local organic grocer at the end to pick up some sundries. Felt good to get out – high 50s, and the sun was nice. We’re about to get pummeled with cold by the end of this week, so I’m enjoying the pleasant outdoors time while I can.

So farewell to 2024, and here’s hoping 2025 is good for all of us.

Toward the end of the stay in the hospital I was getting my full grump on, because all the tests were coming back normal, but no one was telling me when I was getting discharged, and when they came to ask for food orders for lunch and dinner that day I. Was. Over. It. Lack of sleep, semi-planned dehydration (so I didn’t have to call the nurse to get unplugged so I could go pee), and several blood draws didn’t help their case.

And now I have to schedule a follow up with them, but they keep calling when I’m in work meetings.

So far the new medications (a statin, a baby aspirin, and now a BP reducer) have been okay. I had a light headache in the evenings the first few days, but that could have been lack of sleep or staring at screens for too long as easily as the new prescriptions. Just picked up the BP medication today around lunch time, so it wasn’t that (that just caused a little lightheadedness, like poppers but less fast, and definitely less sexy). I’m guessing it’s just the body adjusting to the new equilibrium on these things. No headache so far this evening, so hopefully that’s done with.

Definitely annoyed that I have to take more drugs. I hate taking medication, and I really hate having to add to the pile. Whatever; I’ll deal. But I’ll still be annoyed at some level by it all.

First off, I’m fine. Don’t you love when an entry starts out that way?

Tuesday morning (December 5th, 2023) around 10:30 I was standing in my living room when I had a sudden bout of dizziness, followed by numbness in my right hand and some tingling on the fingertips. Almost felt like my blood sugar had dropped out (the dizziness) and like I’d pinched something so my hand fell asleep. Both passed very quickly, then the hand numbness came back less severely and stopped again. And then the inside of my mouth and tongue on the right side got numb, at which point I started googling stroke and heart attack symptoms, and drove myself over to the local urgent care center. The symptoms were all resolved at that point, in less than ten minutes, but I still wanted to get checked out. They took me back immediately and examined me, then advised me to go to an emergency room.

Drove home, grabbed some things in anticipation of a long wait, summoned an Uber ride, texted the husband to let him know what was up, and went to the ER at the hospital attached to the university he works at, even though it’s twice as far as the two closest. It also happens to be in the same network as the urgent care center, so they had all of my info from the earlier check in. The husband met me there, the team again jumped in on me pretty quickly – you say/describe “stroke symptoms” and medical professionals’ eyes get big and they immediately start doing things. CT scan that afternoon, then they checked me in that afternoon for an overnight stay for more tests and observation. The poor husband had to return home for the tools to get my piercings out so I could have an MRI, which happened around 12:30am (hospital corridors are much less busy at that hour). Echocardiogram with bubble contrast was late morning on Wednesday, plus constant EKG monitoring and more blood draws than I care to think about over the course of the day.

Tested, prodded, and evaluated, the verdict was that I probably had a “low-impact transient ischemic attack (TIA)”, a kind of stroke-like event that quickly resolved itself. No damage, tests all came back normal, not a stroke, but now I get some new medications (baby aspirin and a statin) and a longer discussion about all of this with my primary care physician at a pre-existing appointment on Monday, at which I was already going to be discussing slightly elevated blood pressure (which has not been helped by the lack of ability to do a lot of cardio because of my knee dislocation in September).

All-in-all I’m doing okay now. I feel fine, and other than needing some more sleep everything seems to have returned to status quo ante. I’m annoyed at the elevated blood pressure and adding yet another drug to the morning mix (I hate that I have to take pills to function), but the results came out well for what happened, and I’m glad I got it all checked out and will get an appropriate treatment plan. And maybe a new doctor to add to the deck? Because as you age doctors seem to be like Pokemon – gotta catch ’em all! Heh.

On Monday I was on a grocery run when I slipped on some oil in the parking lot and very badly wrenched my right knee. I didn’t feel anything pop, but I definitely went down and there was a lot of loud vocalizing about pain. On the upside, it’s a shopping center with an urgent care center, so after a bit of denial I leaned on a shopping cart and wheeled myself over to get checked out. I got a brace, crutches, instructions to go see an orthopedist.

Saw my old orthopedist’s office the next day (different doctor; the last guy specialized in shoulders, this one in knees). X-rays did not show anything broken, but did reveal that I have a bipartite patella on both knees, which is probably unrelated, but was an interesting conversation piece with the doc. Got a knee wrap and a stiffer, larger brace to hold things in place better (and boy have they improved since I last wore one back in 1986*). Instructions were to get an MRI and make a follow up appointment with the doc. First radiology place was going to take two weeks (!!!!) to get me in. I booked it, but then checked in with insurance to see where else was available and managed to get one a mere week later (this upcoming Wednesday the 13th, as opposed to the following Tuesday the 19th) a little further out. Definitely a sign that there’s too much demand and not enough supply in the DC radiology market.

In the meantime I’ve been sitting around playing lots of PS5, doing some reading, and a little bit of work. The collection of chargers next to the couch has slowly grown as I’ve needed to charge more devices like the kindle. The husband has been fantastic, fussing at me about letting him do more for me (I’m a terrible patient; I value my independence and hate asking for help). Thank heavens for the internet and videos for “best ways to get up and down stairs with crutches”, which we definitely did not have in 1986. Since this townhouse is a staircase with a couple rooms attached I’ve tried to minimize the amount of up and down each day to once each wherever possible. My neighbors have been good, too, with one graciously getting our car back from the parking lot to our garage, and another bringing a package in for me when the husband wasn’t going to be home until late. We have a slight problem with porch pirates, and I wanted to keep the cat food from disappearing, so I asked her to come drag it inside. The smart lock I installed a couple weeks back came in handy there, as I was able to unlock and lock the door from the couch so she could open the door.

And now I wait for appointments to see how badly I’ve messed this thing up. The swelling is down from the peak, but it’s still grapefruit sized and somewhat warm to the touch. Grateful we installed washlets on all the toilets, because when you only have one good leg to stand on wiping is not the easiest.

* Back in 1986 I was playing volleyball in gym class, went to hit the ball at the edge of the court, everyone yelled to let it go out as it was game point and we’d win, so I backed up quickly and in doing so chipped my thigh bone. I vaguely recalling yelling “shit” at the top of my lungs, and the whole gym was looking at me when I looked up. Teacher felt the knee, nothing broken, so ‘walk it off’ (Poor teacher; this was at the school where my mother was the librarian and I know she felt bad when it turned out to be worse than expected). Urgent care, orthopedist, arthroscopic surgery to remove the bone chips, and a massive leg brace to keep it all straight before and after surgery, which I recall being a pain in the ass to get on/off, with giant velcro tabs. This new one has velcro, but also has quick-release tabs that the velcro connects to, so is much, much easier to remove and put back on. Yay progress.

Not the shopping day I’d planned for, but hey. Started out early, with a 9am appointment at BJs to replace the front tires, because one of them has a giant bulge and a slow air leak. Get there ten minutes early, doors are closed. They finally bother to open at 9:25 (after calling the main desk twice to see where they were), get to the counter, they don’t have the tires I preordered and prepaid for. Then it was into the main club for a refund, because at that point I was done with them. Appointment made for another place Wednesday morning, and I’ll call Tuesday night to doublecheck that they have the tires.

So then it was on to get some food and planned haircuts. While eat we decided the husband needed some more shirts, so we picked the closer of the malls and headed there for wandering and shopping. I picked up grooming supplies, and he got a bunch of shirts. Ah, married life. Heh. Book shopping next, then a late lunch and gas for the car. The tire held up well, thankfully, and I didn’t have to reinflate it while we were out (I keep a pump in the car normally anyway).

Ran twice this week, very basic run/walk workouts on the treadmill, but the first such since covid last month. The fatigue is finally gone, thank heavens. Blood pressure is still higher than anyone would like, but some regular exercise should start to help with that, or at least keep it from getting worse. I’d really prefer not to go on drugs for that; I resent the allergy and reflux medications as is, so the thought of adding more just makes me grumpier. *phhhbbbbtttt*

Off to a brunch showing of Margaritaville at a local(ish) dinner theater tomorrow. Should be a hoot. I have a nice Hawaiian shirt with flamingoes on it for the occasion, and the husband has something similarly loud. We’re meeting friends for it, which will be nice as we’ll have a four-top table for the group, and no strangers to try and make awkward conversation with. Final show of this run, which is always fun to see.

Switching between the medications for reflux ain’t all that fun. My body seems to want about a two week adjustment period before it evens out. Given that I’m in the third adjustment period (prescription samples, over-the-counter, now back to the prescription), it seems to be a regular thing. The first week has some unintended side effects (consistent across the three), and then it all kicks in at two weeks. Given that I’m in the middle of week one, life in ye olde gut is interesting.

At work, before we went on vacation I cleaned a large part of my office. My desk is clear for the first time in years (no piles of files/paper/books), and a good chunk of the bookshelf got cleared out and organized. The credenza behind me has the books I use most, and no more excess paper. It’s been illuminating, both in terms of my own work processes, and in terms of the reactions from my office. Everyone has commented on it. I’m loving having space to spread a project out to work on it, then put it all away when it’s done or I have to switch gears. Only drawback to date is there’s no place to hide something easily if someone comes in and they don’t need to see what I was working on (no files to flip over the paper, etc.). But I’ll take the calmer work environment.

That combined with the lack of caffeine (and hence the lack of energy spikes and lows) has, I think, meant a more even-keeled Moose at work. Gut issues aside. I had forgotten about how early I need to get to bed when not depending on a steady caffeine source during the day. Probably better on the whole, but it’s another adjustment.

Training is interesting. I’m trying more things like hill work, tempo runs, etc. this time around. Still too early to tell the effect, but I am looking forward to workouts more when they have more of a purpose, and more of a structure. Still need to lay out strength training in a more organized fashion, but I know where I’m going with that.

We’re headed off to see the boy’s family in another week, and in anticipation of the drive up, and to take care of the check engine light that popped on just before vacation, I dropped the Mini off at the shop to get it all adjusted. A couple thousand later it drove more smoothly on the way home after I picked it up this afternoon. Not exactly what I wanted to drop that amount of money on, but it’s worth keeping the car going. After driving the newer model loner car, I have to say I’m happy with my 12 year old car, so I’m glad I can keep it running well.

Surprising the boy with a slow cooker batch of meatballs tomorrow. He’s been at a work retreat the past two nights and gets back tomorrow, and will do so to an apartment that will smell fabulous.

I’m still irritated at myself, with regard to my last post on countfour. And I’m finding it difficult to blog as well. It’s an election year in DC, I can’t really talk about work or politics (yay Hatch act!), and it seems crazier than normal (in no small matter because of the proliferation of political ads, since Virginia is in play this year). I did finally get new orthotics for running, after some drama with the PT shop (the first set was too wide/tall & had to be shaved down to fit; PT guy was clearly not happy when I brought them in for refitting, but we got it resolved). So now I can run again, and have been starting to get back to that.

We’ve put in a request for a proposal for a wedding venue. Like the place, options seem good, then it’s just picking a date. Oy. The only date we know we want/have to work around is July 6, which is next year’s Total 200 ride, which the boy has said he wants to do next year, and I’m game to ride with him.

1. I’m fat (by which I mean I’m well overweight, not that I’m fatally obese).
2. I don’t like what my body looks like, naked.
3. The state of my body and health embarrasses me.
4. Being overweight affects my self-confidence in all aspects of my life.
5. I do not have self-control over junk food.
6. My body is not forgiving, so my diet needs to be exemplary.
7. I’m an emotional eater.
8. When I don’t plan my eating, I don’t eat well.
9. I spend too much energy trying to find a perfect, total solution to these problems, rather than focusing on small, incremental changes.
10. I get angry when small setbacks occur.
11. I give in to the negative talk in my head.
12. I obsess over my flaws.
13. These things hold me back from being the person I want to be.