Of Moose And Men
The Best Laid Plans Of Both Often Go Astray

For some reason the reintegration back into real life has been a bit difficult. There was the inevitable backup of work at the BGA (“vacation is its own punishment”), breaking things off with someone I’d been dating, adjustment back to east coast time (which means I have to try and fight my normal nature to be a night owl), and just doing the little things like unpacking everything and putting it all away, sorting mail, grocery shopping, etc. Still haven’t done the grocery shopping, so I’ve been subsisting on ever-shrinking supplies of staples from the freezer and cabinet. Not a bad thing, it’s good to clear those out every now and again, but not perhaps the healthiest meals I could be eating.

One thing I’ve been doing to integrate some of our practices from DLOC has been to post “appreciations” over on FaceBook. Just little things to acknowledge those things I’m appreciative of for whatever reason. It does help to make one more mindful of what’s going on in your life, which has made it a useful tool for me.

Past that I’m trying to find my motivation to get back to tri training for my last two races this season, and finish up my commitment with the club’s volunteer work this month. “The Pile” of books has grown since coming back, including some re-reading of classics I feel the need to reexamine in light of the DLOC and SF experiences (The Ethical Slut, the Tao Te Ching/Dao De Jing). I’m about 1/2 an inch from finishing sock #2 on pair #2, and I have another pull ball ready to go on the next set, but the one sock’s been sitting here unloved as I try to work myself back into life.

Picked up another bike yesterday. I wanted something a bit better for zipping around town than my mountain bike (which is a good bike, but not the best for commuting). I went in a slightly different direction, a single gear, and put “campus pedals” on it (clipless on one side, regular pedal platform on the other), so I don’t have to throw on bike shoes just to zip somewhere if I wish to bike out. My goal there is to bike about more to things in town, and sweat be damned. It even came with a kickstand! I feel so retro with a kickstand on a bike – I don’t think I’ve had one of those since high school. With the bike, though, comes the last big purchase for the year, I think. Need to back off and pay off the remnants of vacation and the bike and plan for the end of the year and Giftmas. And to plan for the next body electric workshop next year, of course.

It’s hard to fully describe the changes wrought by DLOC, but I’ll be working on them this year.

What is it about traveling that always throws my system off? My hands are covered in eczema from something, likely the stress of travel and not drinking nearly enough water. Driving a ton more today, down to North Carolina to visit my grandparents and back, probably didn’t help any.

The family is doing okay, and it’s been a pleasant visit all told. My brother didn’t make it down with the younger two nieces, but I did get to see the eldest niece and give her a hard time (as well as an antique pendant for her birthday). Picked up a set of mid-century import china I’ve had my eyes on for the past 3-4 years now (dragons!), and I’m also hauling back a mounted set of moose antlers from my grandfather (a moose he evidently hunted himself in Canada some many, many years ago). Where I’m going to hang the antlers is a whole other question, but at least they fit in the back of the mini to haul back to DC. Going to have to figure out how to clean and preserve them, too – they’re a tad dusty and dry from years in an attic.

Managed to avoid having to plant walnut trees by delaying the trip until mother’s day. Sneaky, but smart. Though I’ve also missed the last good weekend to get in long training before the race next Sunday. So, I’ll just have to wing it on the 17th. I know how to do it, I know I can do all three events separately, and I’ve done this race before, so I’ll finish, but it ain’t gonna be pretty.

Had some fun on the dating front, but I’m not going into it yet. Too early to tell where it’s going, if anywhere, so aside from noting that something is happening, I’m going to leave it at that.

Okay, thank you Netflix for partnering with everyone under the sun. Here I was thinking I’d need to buy another computer or HD TiVo or some sort of device to play the “watch instantly” movies (while still being able to chat on the laptop, mind you), and while playing with the Xbox this morning I discovered I could watch them via a free download on that device. It’s nice to not have to spend more money for entertainment, and also good since the Xbox is the only thing plugged into the TV with HDMI at this point, so the picture quality is pretty good, even for downloaded content.

The week was an odd one, with the swings in weather and going out to be social and work oddities. Now that we’re past the initial stages of stimulus work, it’s getting down to crunch times for many offices – implementation and distribution of funds. Which means a lot of serious work, as well as the occasional eyebrow-raising inquiry (seriously, you think that a contract to maintain and develop a web site for aid recipients to report their progress doesn’t fall squarely within the definition of “management and oversight” of your program? please).

Finally running time machine this morning with my backup drive. A bit late, I know, but will be good to have it done at last. Cold wash got done, dinner plans with Richard and his new beau this evening. Need to get to the grocery store soon (tonight? tomorrow? not completely out of food but it’s getting there). Date planned for Monday. At some point I should get in a long bike ride this weekend. Need to finish up a sock I’m working on so I can get started on its mate. All these little necessities of life which catch up if you don’t keep up with them.

A mixed weekend for me. Had a big club event on Saturday where a lot of our newbies got to get out on a ride with the rest of the club and get in some social time. Today I let a guy I’ve been seeing for a couple of weeks know that it wasn’t working and I didn’t want to go out again.

The ride and run on Saturday went pretty good for me personally. I won’t be as fast as last year on this course, but I’m going to be able to do it, and that’s the important part. The base is coming, and I’ll be well set up for the other two races I’m signed up for this season. So I was pleased with how that went, exercise-wise, even past the social aspects, which were also good. I wore my ultilikilt out to the site, and it was quite a hit, getting a lot of positive comments (and a lot of inquiries if I was going to ride that way). Fun times.

The dating just wasn’t working out. He’s a good guy, but not what I’m looking for in the final weighing of things. And even knowing it wasn’t a good match, it’s still difficult to cut things off (“change is stress”).

Got to see NRJTM this afternoon for lunch outside in the glorious weather we had for most of the weekend, as well as some shopping to pick up some sundries. Caught up with some friends online after that, and headed to a late dinner now with a friend who’s just moving back to DC after a west coast hiatus. Will be good to see him and meet his new bf.

I don’t often go back into my archives to read entries. While I enjoy the writing, and the occasional bit of feedback, I don’t often feel the need to wander back through things. But it is nice to have them, especially when someone from your past pops up and you have this nagging sense that you remember who he is, but can’t quite place him.

In this instance it was AH, a young man with whom I’d flirted a great deal, and had a couple short dates with back in 2003. He found me over on Loopt and dropped me a message this morning while I was home dealing with my allergies. He happened to mention that he was glad he remembered the nickname I’d given him on here, so that set me to searching to see if a) I could find my old archives, and b) if I could find him. Good on both counts.

Had an interesting time wandering through the past ten years of online writing (started in October of 1999). A lot has happened in that time, pleasant memories and not-so-pleasant ones. I do see that I used to write a lot more about the minutiae of life, which was I suppose a bit easier when I did more in terms of going out, and when there were fewer of us doing this online diary thing. I also see I was consistently reticent to go into great details about work (smart), and not so reticent about certain details of what others might consider one’s private life. So be it. I certainly don’t regret (most) of what I’ve written, and in many ways I’m glad to have the record, if for no other reasons than to catch up on where I’ve been and see where I might be headed.

Work continued with the ass kicking today. I’m going to have to knuckle down and punch things out faster and/or just be better in general about getting back to folks or my office is going to continue to get pounded. It’s bad enough the head of the BGA hates the lawyers, but it’s filtering down to the rest of the staff as well. And we’re a very convenient whipping boy these days.

Meh.

Dinner date this evening to help de-stress. Still not completely sure where this one is going past hanging out. With my return to training our social lives are again drifting apart, since mine is once again starting to revolve around exercising and crashing relatively early and his, well, does not. In any case, it was date number whatever and I’m enjoying it. I seriously need to cuddle, though. But dinner dates are not conducive to cuddling, more’s the pity.

And it must be bed time because the local army fort is playing retreat/tattoo. No, it’s not taps (lights out), but it’s close enough.

Haven’t made time to write because I’m either getting home & being a total veg because I’m wiped out from the work day or I’m going out to see friends or maybe even a date or two. Work continues to roll along at a crazy pace. I’ve given myself a big assignment that I’ve not been able to start yet because of other fires that keep popping up. It’s needed, but finding time is a challenge.

Training is almost non-existent at this point. I’m swimming, but with the colder temps I’ve not gotten out to bike in the mornings and I’m unmotivated to haul the trainer back out. It’s not supposed to be this bloody cold in late Smarch in DC, damn it.

Much has also been on my mind about dating and the extent to which one compromises versus standing firm. After BC there are some things I consider to be vital to my well being which are not precisely the norm (Body Electric comes to mind), and I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about those things and how and when to introduce them. With a couple guys I can tell there are distict differences in relationship styles that I don’t think will ultimately be compatible. And how does one express that and not sound cliché?

Long story short, I had a date not show for dinner tonight. No call, no email, no nothing.

I am So. Not. Pleased.

The cult co-op’s annual meeting wasn’t so bad. The usual suspects got up and spouted their insanties, and we got through it without a lot of other nonsense. Of course, they started half an hour late, and we barely had quorum, but hey. I did finish a baby sock, got back to the apartment all excited about it, only to realize that when I did the first one I must’ve skipped a step (a few plain knitted rows) because the original is much shorter in the leg than the one I just finished. Crap. I so fail at reading directions sometimes. So much for giving the co-worker with the new baby a pair of baby socks next week.

Did manage to sleep fairly well last night, bourbon notwithstanding. I think it helped that it was a nice, calm, peaceful night out chatting calmly with a charming gentleman in a not-too-obnoxious bar. After we left the one that was doing drag bingo, that is.

I get to skip work entirely tomorrow in favor of my one (one) professional development activity for the year – the annual approps law update over in the legislative branch. Huzzah. Then it’s work HH, followed by club HH. I’ll have to pace myself. And drink lots of water. And take taxis. But since I am working on Friday, I’ll definitely behave as hangovers at work are teh suxors. It’s not like I’ve been bad lately anyway, as evidenced by my surprisingly higher than ever before in my ten years as a fed sick leave balance. I keep this up I might get to a higher sick leave balance than my annual leave balance, which would be a definite plus since it means I could start using sick leave for doctor’s appointments instead of annual leave, and save the “good stuff” for real vacations like this June’s.

Holy shit, it’s Tuesday evening. As in “it’s already Tuesday evening,” and also “is it only Tuesday?” all in one. The time change threw my already precarious balance with sleep and the morning meetings completely off. Add to that a host of “too much work-itis” and you have a mix that’s just been more than a bit nuts. Oh, and social and cult/co-op obligations most of the week as well.

I fully expect my candle to be completely burnt out by Saturday evening.

I will cut my participation in the cult thing short tomorrow if I still find myself in need of sleep. Won’t be able to keep functioning otherwise, and frankly I despise those things and would like as little to do with the process as possible. The folks who are most vocal at these things are batshit-crazy and best avoided under normal circumstances. And then they wonder why they can’t get more participation. Despite the advantages of desk service and on-call maintenance, it is enough to drive one away from communal living arrangements.

The boy bingo has been interesting. Did confirm something based on a friend’s post from day or so ago – I have no tolerance for the folks who lie about their age online. I’m not talking about “oops, had a birthday a month ago and forgot to update,” but rather the deliberate attempt to blur one’s identity by moving up or (more likely) down in age in some vain attempt to make one look more attractive. The last few times I’ve run across that it hasn’t been a pleasant thing, and it engenders a sense of distrust in the person and who they ultimately are under their public persona.