Of Moose And Men
The Best Laid Plans Of Both Often Go Astray

After the fire incident Saturday it really brought home that with no action on changing the rules here at the cult co-op that I really couldn’t bring the cats here. So, per his request, I let Richard know by Labor Day whether the cats were coming or staying, and they’re staying. Not an easy decision, certainly, and I despise being the one who leaves his pets in a break-up, but I was not going to risk having to lose them at a later date because they got discovered and the cult co-op forced me to get rid of them. That would have been more horrible than I care to imagine.

So, I’m a family of one now. I’m sure it will sink in more later, but for tonight it just feels very… odd.

Have I mentioned lately that I love where I bought my apartment?

Got to work this morning, changed from biking gear to office drag, and realized that I’d forgotten my cell phone. Whoops. So rather than panic and have to run back right that instant to get it (OCD much?), I made a plan to bike home at lunch, eat while here, and get the phone. It’s only a 10 minute trip door to door, so it’s easily done.

I could so quickly get used to doing this.

Making some fresh pasta, having some fake sausage and a nice pesto sauce. Called the parental units to check in with them. Checking email and the blogs on a real, non-work tracked computer.

Yeah, I could get used to this.

When I moved into the new place and set up the TiVo, I noticed that Spike TV was playing Deep Space 9 on reruns, in order, several episides a day. So I signed up for a season pass and have been watching them bit by bit. The run ended recently and so I caught up to the last several episodes, not being able to stop watching as the story progressed in a marvelous fashion up until the end. So somewhere around 2-something last night I finished up the last episode. Worth staying up for, but left me a tad tired this morning, when the building’s fire alarm went off sometime after 6 a.m.

I vaguely remember drifting out of sleep, but only realized what was going on when I heard the fire trucks pull up. Will have to have a discussion with the building to see about making the alarm a) louder and b) more annoying. It was a constant beeping which really was no more annoying that someone’s alarm clock going off on the other side of a large house. Not nearly sufficient to wake people up in the case of a real emergency.

Having lived in a large building where the alarm went off every 2-3 months, I wasn’t about to evacuate until I knew there was an actual reason to. So I watched as the firemen in one of the trucks were unable to get into the property. They ended up setting two ladders so that they could go up one on one side of the fence and down another on the other. I cannot believe none of the security guards, nor any residents had keys to open the fencing. That’s going to change, period. I suspect folks will be yelling up a storm at the board meeting on Wednesday about this.

After brunch most of the day was spent with MG, a gentleman I’ve recently started dating. Some shopping, some wandering, a good nap at his place, then home again before heading out to dinner with RNJTM. Now it’s crash time so I can get up and run in the morning, another 15-16 miler planned as prep for the marathon.

I can tell autumn is approaching for several reasons now:

There are massive numbers of migratory birds who are now clustering outside my office window (well, one floor up from me, actually), and they are LOUD. They keep flying back and forth between the trees on the Mall and the BGA office building, and it’s very distracting. I can even hear them over my radio/iPod speakers sometimes.

It’s not quite as bright in the morning now when I get up. Partially this is because I discovered when I (finally!) got rid of the old living room curtains left by the old owner that he’d also left some external sheer-ish things that I could put up to make the room darker, so I did that. And partially it’s because ye olde lazy sun is not getting up as early now. Bastard. I want bright light at 6 am, thankyouverymuch.

I can walk to work in a dress shirt and not be soaked through by the time I get here.

Fall races are close enough to feel “real” now.

So, ’tis on its way, even if we’re not quite there, at least here in my little slice of DC. Now watch the temps shoot back up into the upper 90s again.

Saw my dermatologist Monday for my semi-annual check up with him. He didn’t like a couple spots, so he froze them off. I look like I can’t use a razor without slicing off large chunks of skin. Thankfully facial skin heals pretty quickly (at least mine does), so it’s getting better, but it hasn’t helped my mood. That’s been the major source of discontent this week.

Also had my every-six-month HIV test this week. Because why have just one major stressor in your week when you can have two? It came out fine.

Reduced considerably the amount of food I’ve been snarfing as the week has gone by. I was stress eating earlier in the week (mainly over the lovely blisters/scabs from the freezing), which was setting off all kinds of moody stuff. Whee! Thankfully after one particularly nasty little meal I realized what was happening and put the smack down on that.

Nice speedwork run this morning, back again to the recording and what not from yesterday’s free range run. Brief walk to deal with a stitch in my side (too much cranberry juice this morning?), but once that was done, I was fine. The last four runs over that distance (4.3 miles, give or take a bit) have each gotten faster – from 46:50 to today’s 40:06. Am definitely going to break 1/2 an hour on next month’s 5k. My goal will be to break my PR for a 5K, 27:33, set back in May of 2000 when I ran my first ever 5k (back when I weighed 20 lbs less than I do now, thanks to the mono the previous fall, I might add). Should be fun. In the meantime, I’ll keep doing speedwork. And long runs at not-so-speedy paces. And having fun while doing both.

If you go out on a run, but take no equipment for recording heart rate, distance, pace, etc., did it really happen?

Felt the need to just run this morning, the up and back along the waterfront that I consider my usual not-quite-2-miles-when-I’m-feeling-icky run. Up, back, no beeps, no watch whatsoever, so clue how long it took me or how my heart was doing. Just a nice run to remind myself that I do this stuff because it feels good, and because it’s fun.

Not been wanting to write much of late. Had a lot of things going on, personally, and no real desire to share them with the world at large.

Running’s been going pretty well. Did not quite 15 miles on Sunday. Ironic sight of the day while out running: Woman sitting on her back porch in a “Race for the Cure” T-shirt, smoking a cigarette.

I can tell I’ve been a little stressed, though – eating like there’s no tomorrow. Makes one yearn for the days before 14 year old anorexics started having strokes and you could still get real dexatrim over the counter. The new stuff just isn’t the same, and who needs a dressed up caffeine pill, really? If I wanted to get jittery I’d just drink more coffee. Not there’s been a lack of that in my diet, either.

Anyway. Writing more out of a sense of obligation than any real desire to post, so I’ll end this here and save us all trouble of more inane writing.

This starts to sum it up (from a book I just finished re-reading):

“My dear,” the Magus said softly, “it sounds as if – and please pardon me for my presumption – you’re looking for a reason not to need him.”

“I am,” Joanna said desperately. “That is… I don’t need him. Not really, I mean…”

“You mean you don’t want to need him.”

She was silent, feeling by the tightness of her chest, the sudden hurt of her throat, that he spoke the truth. “Him,” she said slowly, when she could again control her voice. “Or anyone.”

The velvet arm tightened about her shoulders; the light, beautiful voice spoke from the dark, “Why not?”

“Because I’m afraid if I need him I’ll screw myself up for him,” she replied, with the perfect candor of weariness. “Because I’m afraid I can’t think straight around him. Because I’m afraid I’m not doing it right — I’m not being the right kind of person. And mostly because I don’t want to need him and then have him leave.”

“Ah, Joannna,” the little man sighed. “My dear child. Do you really consider yourself that foolish, or that weak?”

And that’s a bit of how I’m feeling (as “Joanna,” of course). New relationship, old worries, old anxieties. That foolish, that weak. Even though I know I’m not.

That said, I think I’m more afraid of cutting myself off than opening myself up, truth be told. For, as the Magus goes on to say:

“If love didn’t make us insane,” the Magus said gently, “who among us would have the courage to step outside the walls we build to protect ourselves against life?”

Too true, Magus, too true.

Was up at 5 this morning to go do a training triathlon with the Club down at Hains Point. I had been wavering yesterday, feeling totally unprepared (which I pretty much was), but popped a benadryl at 8:30, got into bed and was crashed by 9:30.

Got up before the sun, at 5ish. Made coffee (that I am just now sipping). Got a small b’fast, gathered my gear and got out the door to bike over to the point.

Registered, got marked up on the arm and leg and moved over to set up transition. I had everything laid out nicely, a pleasant change from the last time I did one of these (and no rain!). We wandered over to the pool and I actually got warmed up in the pool for once; I usually just stretch and get going – felt better having done 100 meters before hand.

Swim went well. Was cold to start (65?), but not unbearable once we got into the water. Did my race trick of breathing to one side instead of my normal two sided breathing. Should have seeded myself further up, I ran into the guy in front of me and didn’t get to pass him until the last 50 meters. He creamed me on the bike and run, but I had him on the swim. Swim time: 8:43.

Transition 1: 3:01:09 (including running back from the pool, so not bad).

Bike went okay. I could tell I had not been training. That said, I passed a couple of folks and was only passed by the folks who were way ahead of me in terms of loops (3 loop course). Dried out relatively quickly so it wasn’t too cold, post-swim. Oh, and I saw Tod out with his AIDS Marathon training folks, which was fun, even if I didn’t have more time to do more than yell out his name and wave as I zipped by on the bike. Bike time: 55:12

Transition 2: 1:42 (would be faster if I wore the same socks or didn’t wear socks, but that’s not happening, nor is dumping the damned orthotics. Yet).

Run went very well, I was quite pleased, except that I could have kicked it up sooner than I did. With a mile or less to go I picked up the pace and the leg turnover and did really well with it. Run time: 32:39 (meaning just at 10 minute miles average – course was 3.2 miles).

Total time: 1:41:09, a good 1/2 an hour faster than my last sprint race. So yes, quite pleased with the results.

For next time, I need to actually train, picking up the bike and the swim portions more (since I’m already running enough at the moment), and more speed work in all three sports. I think I can get it down more, especially on the bike, and get closer to an hour.

Woke up this morning feeling like I’d downed half a bottle of tequila and stayed up all night dancing with go-go boys the previous evening.

Alas, I did nothing of the sort last night.

The rain hitting the windows this morning confirmed the source of the headache. It also forced a change from the normal plans to bike into work (too messy – too much prep to get ready for work once I’m here) to walking, and the associated accelerated schedule to get out the door. Thankfully I’d originally thought I’d had time to make enough coffee to have some at home, so I’d started the water early and was able to make the exlir of life prior to walking out the door.

I’ve gotten spoiled on dragging my own coffee into the office. The stuff I make at home with the french press, even factoring in the time in the thermos (the secret is to pre-heat the thermos with boiling water while the coffee is steeping), is so much better tasting than the drip stuff they have here. Their coffee’s not bad, at least the faux-Starbucks stuff isn’t, but it’s not the same as good coffee from a french press. I prefer my oils unfiltered by paper, thankyouverymuch. Once a week or so, though, as I did this morning, I supplement the normal dosage with a shot of espresso (note the lack of a “x” there) from a lovely street vendor who sits out in front of the building and makes specialty coffee drinks from her little stall. She’s fun to talk with, and always remembers your drink (“Single or double espresso this morning?”). This morning she and I had fun discussing how tourists confuse the National Mall with a shopping mall.

Much better now that I’m caffeinated, but I’d still have liked a warning that I was going to wake up feeling hungover from the weather.